My "amnesia" - was more of a distorted perception as opposed to total blocking out of memory. Coming to grips with the truth has taken on a whole new role in my life. I know its in there. But wresting with it has become more of a dance than a struggle. As long as the sonog is still playing I'll keep dancing. The bands just getting warmed up.
I have been very lightly working on this event with a psychologist because we both knew it was most likely very serious. Then I started to remember more, then more, etc. We are taking a break at this point because I started to get PTSD symptoms, but I recognized it right away and told my psychologist and we both agreed to hold off for a little while and let the mind calm down.
Mine propel me into what some have described as a manic state. I accept the memories and let them go before i get to overly analytical. A cigareete smoked, a meal missed, dint have the significance i am attributing them. Not that I shouldnt also accept sometime in the future i wont be free of them. They arent ready to be dealt with, or so I'm told.
I hope i have helped in someway. I find it better to say what i feel rather that what i should think you should do. I dont wanna set a bar i cant flop over myself