having been abusive in my life, there are a lot of people who i need to apologize to as well. i would never expect that by the virtue of my apology, should all of my wrongdoing be absolved and i be granted forgiveness. i would simply want them to know how i feel about it and that i take responsibility for it.

Thank you for this post limit. What is sad to me is that from your post I realize that the line between an apology and forgiveness for me is very blurred.

My second step father never sexually abused me, but was very abusive in other ways. He has BPD which really confused me because one minute he would be nice, and BAM, he would fly off the handle and become abusive out of no where, which was a hell of a lot of fun for a CSA survivor.

He programmed me through abuse to view an apology and forgiveness as the same. He would apologize and then throw it back in my face and scream at me if I didn't forgive him for what he did.

I felt like a damn yo-yo. You helped me to realize that learning the difference between an apology and forgiveness is another growth opportunity.

Thank you.

Alex

no problem. though that post is only my opinion on the matter, to me it makes logical sense. i have BPD too. i have had to make the differences between things, as minute as they are, obnoxiously clear inside of my own head so that i don't go around hurting people unintentionally.

And that is what I want to hear from my perp. There are others who have deeply hurt me from whom I wish to hear an apology. To me, a wound can't truly be healed until it stops bleeding. Some may disagree, but the blood will always flow until I hear two heart felt words - I apologize - when someone has truly put a dagger through my heart.