I'm so sorry Jeff, i can't imagine people do that sort of thing..
Or understand how they get those animals so far that they would do that stuff..

My brother was 13 when he died of leukemia.. I was 15. It's 3 years ago now..

So many sad stories and so many people that were seriously hurt.
It was very hard for me to read all this. I can't stand people without empathy who were capable of doing such cruel things to innocent kids/people. They are lunatics for me and they should be under some life-long surveillance...
I don't know why but I'm always on some alert looking and checking if some bastards would show in public places and especially at places where are children present; that is my regular subconscious procedure.

Drop I'm so sorry that you've lost your brother, it must be very difficult for you .

All of you are true heroes!
I'm sending hugs to you my brothers survivors!

Pero

Ug - sorry to hear that Jeff - I was photographed as well - our dad made pictures of my brother and I, presumably for the sex ring into which he would trade me.

Shit survivinguy. I'm a little drunk or a lot drunk but I really feel so bad to find you in the same boat as me. The probelem is that if some of them aare out ther then all thepictures taken ar out ther. I'm sorry I must go lay dowm.

I figured thousands of pics simply that by eacy phot shoot ther was 10 rolls of film used so that's 360 pics. maybe 2times a week so that s 720 aweek Times lets say on ly 40 weekds a year that's 28080 pics a year. times 9 years (10-18) is 252,720 pics. shit that's a bunch. I know there were more than one photog. so we're talking a lot of pics. I got to go lay down. I'm sorry. I turned into a fucken drunlen monster. I'll be ok in a few hours. And i have a problem with the movies. i was a fucken monster maybe but thats for another time whn i can think.

Peace, Rainbows & healing
Jeff

I know that this is an older post but I wanted to share a link that discusses this very subject. since I have not been to the sight for a little while.

In the Post I shared a reply but I had a Mod. delete the reply because I felt really scared at the time that one of my abusers could easily recognize some of what I shared, that and the site was down at the time. If it were not, I probably would have just deleted part of it that made me feel exposed.

Anyway it is basically on the same topic and thank God for Pufferfish! He quoted the gist of what I said about the Torture and Mind control, and some of what I know about it having been through it as well.

here is the Link to that Post: http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...2497#Post322497

Another thing that I want to add is that CSA is Torture all by it self without a doubt, but one can also experience it as a separated thing, again speaking from experience.

Logan

Also, i guess not sharing a little of what happened to me would fraudulent in some ways to you guys.

No details but for those that don't know, and I know some do, but for those that don't I was tied up all off the time and restrained and while restrained beaten and burned and deprived of air so many times that I don't remember how many.

The worst of it for me was being restrain and then tortured with electricty.
This was in disciplinary boot camp, where corporal punishment was a daily occurrence. They use both cattle prods or hot shots and a hand crank generator with alligator clips that they would attach usually to my scrotum and I still have burn scars from this.
This is tough for me to talk about. (deep breath).... well when they used the hand generator I always would beg them not to and they would do it anyway and I would always end up pissing all over myself.

Thats enough for now.

I have a hard and long day and am really drained. sorry. anyway if you want to know more just let me know or just reply here and tell me.

Take guys,
Love,
Logan

*

pain is pain - all the same big filthy ball of wax. no partitions, no boxes, no analysis, no labels will ever make it more bearable or understandible or less heinous...