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#386318 - 02/18/12 11:48 PM .
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 11:30 PM)

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#386320 - 02/19/12 12:10 AM Re: From total amnesia to spontaneous recall [Re: Life's A Dream]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6857
Loc: USA
I had amnesia about abuse and my childhood in general until I was in my mid-forties.

Puffer


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#386618 - 02/21/12 02:03 AM Re: From total amnesia to spontaneous recall [Re: Life's A Dream]
Forexpreneur Offline


Registered: 02/08/12
Posts: 141
Loc: Uranus (hell no not yours. lol...
I am dealing with that now and am 40. I had one abuse incident where I remembered things right up to the event and then a blacked out memory of the actual event, however I had very deep anxiety about it, knowing that it was a really horrible event. I went through quite a bit of CSA grwoing up (mostly forced incest) but this one event was when I was 5 and involved my father figure.

I have been very lightly working on this event with a psychologist because we both knew it was most likely very serious. Then I started to remember more, then more, etc. We are taking a break at this point because I started to get PTSD symptoms, but I recognized it right away and told my psychologist and we both agreed to hold off for a little while and let the mind calm down.

The center event is still spotty as far as my memory, however it is slowly starting to come to consciousnous, and I remember other things now I have either blocked out or have just not thought of in years. Basically some CSA events, more clarity about other abuse that was non CSA, and even how it effected my life after certain events.

Basically the subconscious mind is very powerful and blocks out events that you are personally not able to deal with at a particular time. As you do more therapy and/or self help excercises you will start to remember more. It is imperative though that you have some kind of professional support in order to handle potential problems. Sometimes too much can be released too soon and it can be as scary as the actual event itself.

I am NOT a therapist, so please keep this in mind, so I can not give specific advice, but I can probably answer a few questions and am more than willing to do so.

Feel free to PM if you would like.

Be well, and best wishes on your healing my brother.

Alex


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#386777 - 02/22/12 12:57 AM Re: From total amnesia to spontaneous recall [Re: Forexpreneur]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6857
Loc: USA
It's good that a lot of these memories come back gradually. They might wipe us out if they came all at once.

Puffer


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#386801 - 02/22/12 09:45 AM Re: From total amnesia to spontaneous recall [Re: pufferfish]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3377
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Life's A Dream:

I have had some memories that were totally missing for long period of my life.
I have had others that i had only vague, foggy, non-specific memories or awareness of.
I have had some memories emerge gradually over time like a camera being focused slowly.
I have had others that returned suddenly and sharply like a light being switched on, in full detail and high definition.

Sooo... ask away - i'm pretty open about sharing anything. What ever i can do to help.

Regards,
Lee

_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#386804 - 02/22/12 10:02 AM Re: From total amnesia to spontaneous recall [Re: traveler]
Treehugger75 Offline


Registered: 02/08/12
Posts: 158
Loc: Ontario Canada
My "amnesia" - was more of a distorted perception as opposed to total blocking out of memory. Coming to grips with the truth has taken on a whole new role in my life. I know its in there. But wresting with it has become more of a dance than a struggle. As long as the sonog is still playing I'll keep dancing. The bands just getting warmed up.

Quote:
I have been very lightly working on this event with a psychologist because we both knew it was most likely very serious. Then I started to remember more, then more, etc. We are taking a break at this point because I started to get PTSD symptoms, but I recognized it right away and told my psychologist and we both agreed to hold off for a little while and let the mind calm down.


Mine propel me into what some have described as a manic state. I accept the memories and let them go before i get to overly analytical. A cigareete smoked, a meal missed, dint have the significance i am attributing them. Not that I shouldnt also accept sometime in the future i wont be free of them. They arent ready to be dealt with, or so I'm told.

I hope i have helped in someway. I find it better to say what i feel rather that what i should think you should do. I dont wanna set a bar i cant flop over myself smile



Edited by Treehugger75 (02/22/12 10:09 AM)
_________________________
I will never ALWAYS be right, I wasn't wrong, I am whats left.

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#386807 - 02/22/12 10:43 AM Re: From total amnesia to spontaneous recall [Re: Treehugger75]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1629
I had abuse memories of several incidences. I was able to block them but every so often they would come back to haunt me, in a dream, intrusive thoughts but I was able to put them back away. I had several bad periods--one in college and during an illness where I would black out--deep dreams and nightmares for an extended period. I did not want them to be part of me and could pretend them away--not sure of the correct words to describe the blocking but Forexpreneur expresses it quite well (just like my T describes what has happened to me).

In my 50's all hell broke loose-I was going through an extended period of emotional turmoil and torment--I could no longer put the memories back in that part of my mind I buried them. I have now faced them and accepted them. I guess I always knew but blocked--


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#386847 - 02/22/12 10:07 PM . [Re: KMCINVA]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 11:30 PM)

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#386848 - 02/22/12 10:09 PM . [Re: KMCINVA]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 11:30 PM)

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#386850 - 02/22/12 10:10 PM . [Re: pufferfish]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 11:30 PM)

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