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#386919 - 02/23/12 11:03 AM Re: tortured? TRIGGER WARNING [Re: Daniel_forgotten]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1235
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/16/13 04:53 PM)
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#386936 - 02/23/12 02:44 PM Re: tortured? TRIGGER WARNING [Re: pufferfish]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: pufferfish
Yes I was tortured as a 12-year-old at the boy scout camp.

It was exceptionally cruel. Very damaging.

I reported it here in pufferfish story part 5.

I didn't know the words then. A bunch of it was sadistic sex.

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...9028#Post219028

What I didn't say there is that a lot of the stuff that was done seems to have come right out of the manual about brain washing that our intelligence people produced after the Korean war. Our (USA) captured servicemen were subjected to brainwashing in North Korea and China. The manual is now available on-line. It has been declassified with the Freedom of Information Act. I have the url but I'm too tired to get it now. The techniques were later refined into what was done in the detention camps in Iraq and Cuba. There are certain techniques used to get information out of prisoners. This implies to me that my abuser had access to manuals which were classified as secret until the 1990's.

Isolation
darkness
kept in bondage
sexual abuse
suffocation
pain
humiliation
starvation for food and water

Puffer



There is actually a lot of information online about this.

There is an informative article in Wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Army_and_CIA_interrogation_manuals#cite_note-WP-1

Following are excerpts:

Quote:
These manuals recommend arresting suspects early in the morning by surprise, blindfolding them, and stripping them naked. Suspects should be held incommunicado and should be deprived of any kind of normal routine in eating and sleeping. Interrogation rooms should be windowless, soundproof, dark and without toilets.


Quote:
The manuals describe coercive techniques to be used "to induce psychological regression in the subject by bringing a superior outside force to bear on his will to resist." These techniques include prolonged constraint, prolonged exertion, extremes of heat, cold, or moisture, deprivation of food or sleep, disrupting routines, solitary confinement, threats of pain, deprivation of sensory stimuli,


My experience conformed to most of these conditions.

Puffer


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#386944 - 02/23/12 04:16 PM Re: tortured? TRIGGER WARNING [Re: pufferfish]
Survivinguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 310
Loc: Colorado
I wanted to repost in this thread just to say thanks to everyone who replied.

I know it's a slippery slope for me to withdraw and isolate when I think about all that happened to me. I know when I withdraw and isolate - I get to a point of such depression and desperation to "control" the memories and pain that I justify using negative coping techniques that are harmful to me in many ways.

Being among survivors of CSA/incest helps eradicate the pull to withdraw and isolate but when I think about the torture - that's a pretty easy way/reason to withdraw/isolate all over again. I was scared when I posted this thread that it would turn out to be a very rare occurrence and that I'd find even more reason to withdraw.

I hate that I have torture in common with anyone, but just the same as coming to realize I wasn't the only one sexually abused as a child, it helps to know I wasn't the only one physically tortured.

TRIGGER

I didn't specifically state the ways I was tortured to avoid further triggering but in light of the other posts I think it's enough to say my torture involved burning and needles.

TRIGGER

And saying that helps too.

Thanks guys

_________________________
Survivinguy

============================================
I have to survive and I hope to thrive.

Alumni Dahlonega WoR May 2010
Alumni Sequoia WoR March 2012

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#386951 - 02/23/12 05:45 PM Re: tortured? TRIGGER WARNING [Re: Survivinguy]
Drop Offline


Registered: 04/16/11
Posts: 121
I always wondered, what is the difference between torture and physicall abuse or getting beaten up. There was loads of thats stuff in my youth but im not sure under what category it falls. Not that it matters much i gues..

_________________________
Broken eyed and shutdown
Running down the road
Send me straight to hell
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#386984 - 02/23/12 09:55 PM Re: tortured? TRIGGER WARNING [Re: Daniel_forgotten]
little big man Offline


Registered: 06/19/10
Posts: 106
Loc: nevada
my mother would hold my hand in the fire when i was in 1st grade


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#386989 - 02/23/12 10:13 PM Re: tortured? TRIGGER WARNING [Re: little big man]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3488
Loc: somewhere in Africa
i think abuse is anything harmful - a big heading with numerous sub-categories.
i think torture is a sub-category with elements that are more systematic and premeditated and deliberate.
i think getting beat up is another sub-class - more due to the offender's spontaneous loss of control or a reaction to anger, in the heat of the moment, often as a perceived fight or "teaching a lesson".

But of course all of them overlap...
and whatever you all it - it's all bad and leaves long-lasting scars - whether physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual - often all of the above.
Lee

_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#387057 - 02/24/12 09:27 AM Re: tortured? TRIGGER WARNING [Re: little big man]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6571
Loc: Never Sugar Mountain
Originally Posted By: little big man
my mother would hold my hand in the fire when i was in 1st grade


I'll never understand people.

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#387064 - 02/24/12 10:41 AM Re: tortured? TRIGGER WARNING [Re: Survivinguy]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1235
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/16/13 04:54 PM)
_________________________
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#387398 - 02/26/12 05:51 PM Re: tortured? TRIGGER WARNING [Re: lapchinj]
Drop Offline


Registered: 04/16/11
Posts: 121
There was of course the belt, mostly by my father.
But also whatever was close enough, ranging from a chair to kitchen utensils. Kicking, hitting with the fist or throwing me against the wall, not feeding us, kicking us outside for the night even in the middle of the winter sometimes, yelling, burning me with cigarettes, feeding me drunk or forcing me to take pills that would knock me out or would make me lose controll of my body but still be able to feel and hear and see everything, you name it.. Some of it was in drunken rage, sometimes it was to teach me or punish me.
They rented me out to other people too and some of them were sadistic bastards, others tried to 'befriend' me, some saw me more as like i was a doll and just got it done and over with quick. Sometimes they taped me or made pictures. If i didnt do it right or if i complained or cried, boy would i be sorry afterwards..

_________________________
Broken eyed and shutdown
Running down the road
Send me straight to hell
Watch me burn, watch me burn

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#387402 - 02/26/12 06:50 PM Re: tortured? TRIGGER WARNING [Re: Drop]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3488
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Yeah - belt for me too. it was always available for spur-of-the moment whippings. and switches in the non-snowy season. that could be more liesurely and premeditated. worse when i had to go out and cut them myself... had to get one strong & supple enuf to satisfy him without killing myself. and enemas - to clean me out because i was so bad and dirty. hated those the most. i think the worst tho was waiting alone in a room for what seemed like forever, knowing he was coming and fearing what was ahead...

_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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