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#38677 - 11/17/04 03:33 AM Escapism, what do you do?
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
I learned during and after my moms and dads divorce to get loss in science fiction books during the worst of it I was reading about three books a day or 600 pages or so. I still read today. Speaking of which I have a book all ready.

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#38678 - 11/17/04 04:45 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
MikeNY Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/07/04
Posts: 927
Loc: NY
Why escape when you can internalize and suppress? lol

_________________________
"Every child asks the questions which hold the answers to the secrets of the universe, WHAT?, and WHY?". --Me

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#38679 - 11/17/04 05:06 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
yesac76 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/23/04
Posts: 508
Loc: Idaho
My escape is through writing.

_________________________
"You live it or lie it" Metallica

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#38680 - 11/17/04 05:28 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
sadanddown Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/26/04
Posts: 191
Loc: Gaboogistan
Quote:
Originally posted by MikeNY:
Why escape when you can internalize and suppress? lol
:)

So in other words, what are our hobbies? I like to do car audio stuff. Not necesarrily working on my car all the time, but I like to at least read up on things, look at peoples installs etc...

_________________________
I find I have to be the sad clown, laughing on the outside...crying on the inside.

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#38681 - 11/17/04 10:10 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Another way I relieve stress is by rocking out with my favorite music. Not long ago I used real player 10 to rip all my CD's to MP3's. I use Winamp for playing them, I like it best of all the players. I select the albums I want to hear, and select random and repeat play. I got my own radio station! rock on!

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#38682 - 11/17/04 10:25 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
sadanddown Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/26/04
Posts: 191
Loc: Gaboogistan
I also like to play guitar, I'm not very good at it...but I can learn songs from TAB if I practice them for long enough

_________________________
I find I have to be the sad clown, laughing on the outside...crying on the inside.

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#38683 - 11/17/04 12:29 PM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
FLRich Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/21/04
Posts: 1404
I sail or walk the beach alone. Also, I tend to get into a wild cleaning mode form time to time. Gotta have that organization and structure!


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#38684 - 11/17/04 09:11 PM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
I work out at the Gym. I mountainbike and inlines skate in the summer and teach inline skating. In the winter I snoboard. The gym is for self image and meets my need for pain for which I have not lost the attraction. But is safe now this way. I like the othe things because there is an element of risk to them at all times. This replaces dangerous situations in which I found myself for most of my life before dealing with SA. In reflection I guess I suppress by replacment.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#38685 - 11/17/04 11:04 PM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
avatar Offline
Member

Registered: 11/17/04
Posts: 48
Loc: UK



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#38686 - 11/18/04 03:30 PM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
Ivo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 267
Loc: Germany
Books are my first love, house of my family was always full of them.

Now I have time to read books only on my vacation. Then I read really fast. Few hundred pages per day.

Beside this I developed one strange hobby. I systematically collect and put in my brain a lot of information.
From books (historical, geographical, encyclopaedias ...), newspapers, internet, news channels, whatever source I can find...
I specially prefer to store economical facts (on business channels I can found ocean of information \:\) ).
There is no any practical use of this hobby but I like to build some kind of a database in my mind and on that way I am totally out of mine problems.

Ivo


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#38687 - 11/19/04 06:02 PM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
Dan88 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/07/02
Posts: 247
Loc: DC
Well, I used to have a lot of unhealthy escape mechanisms. But I avoid those now.

But I still have some that are allowed. I read trash mysteries. I smoke cigars. I handicap horse races. I analyze stocks. I listen to music. I used to use long drives as an escape, but not so much now because of the traffic in my area.

Thatís about it. Iím always looking for new ones, though.
\:D


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#38688 - 11/19/04 06:25 PM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
i just sat in my backyard and meditated -
the crashng down all around
starts to disappear sometimes -

i smoked cigarettes and played with the smoke

all around me ...

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#38689 - 11/20/04 11:14 PM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
For me it's off-road competition driving, not that I'm any good at it, I just lurk around 3 or 4th place in most comp's.

It's the challenge of getting an old Range Rover as far as possible through the worsr terrain imaginable that's so good.
Then being towed and winched out by my mates who are merciless in their piss taking!

I'm off tomorrow, to a new site in the Welsh mountains, and the weather forecast is for torrential rain and possibly snow.
The seasons finished, so there's no points to be won, it's just for fun.
Bring it on! \:D

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#38690 - 11/21/04 04:56 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
dwf Offline
Moderator/BoD Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/24/03
Posts: 1223
Loc: Austin, Texas USA
No doubt about it.

For me, it's scratching in the dirt, pulling the weeds and planting things.

I once told a friend of mine that gardening was my therapy.

He paused, looked around at the masses of plants all around my yard and said, "Dude, you must be really screwed up!".

Some compliment, huh?

_________________________
"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"

-Tony Joe White

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#38691 - 11/22/04 10:40 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
Mickey Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 10/10/04
Posts: 13
Loc: California
All of tese excapes sound to me like wonderful hobbies. I escape into work. Endless work. Alwys taking on new projects...more than anyone can handle. I caqn never turn down anything that sounds interesting. Money is not the motivator (I don't get paid by the project), it's stimulation - an addiction maybe to interesting things that can keep my mind of SA and its aftermath. Only recently have I linked theis "workaholism" to SA, so the link is still tentative in my mind, but it sure makes sense. I sure wish I read more or gardened or raced cars or just sat in the backyard...but those would leave me too much time to think...and hurt.

_________________________
Mickey

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#38692 - 11/22/04 03:43 PM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
ecb Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 205
I'm also a big reader. I also play role playing games (like Dungeons and Dragons.) I'm especially fond of a live action version of gaming I particpate in as well. For a weekend every month or so, I don't have to be me. I can be someone better whom I've designed and for who things are generally going better. \:\)

I'm also a big fan of some video games, but that one easily slips into numbing for me during my not so good times.

-Eric


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#38693 - 11/22/04 11:43 PM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Mickey
when you're out having fun, you don't have time to think.
Yesterday, when I was out playing in the mud, I didn't think about 'abuse' in any shape or form all day.
It's a welcome relief, and a touch of reality.

Getting out and meeting people outside of the 'abuse' community is something I believe we NEED to do.
If it's joining a chess club, volunteering to make tea at an old folks home or something as extreme as base jumping, they all take our focus away from our problems for a while. In the end we get to like it.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#38694 - 11/23/04 07:02 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
sadanddown Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/26/04
Posts: 191
Loc: Gaboogistan
I just had the greatest escape I've had in a loooong time. I watched the monday night football game. I didn't think about anything except the game the entire time. I love football, it is a great escape for me too. A bunch of my friends and I play fantasy football...maybe next season we could start one up on here, because it is a lot of fun to keep track of players and all. It has helped me so much just get away from everything for a while.

_________________________
I find I have to be the sad clown, laughing on the outside...crying on the inside.

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#38695 - 11/26/04 09:44 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
parttimecop Offline
Member

Registered: 03/05/04
Posts: 139
I go through cycles in what I do. I tend to obsess about one thing for awhile and then go on to another hobby. I don't know if that is healthy, but until this moment I had not really thought of it as unhealthy. I usually read alot, about whatever it is I am interested in. Right now I am trying to do some writing.

Also I spend time with my girlfriend and she makes me forget about most of my troubles. About the only way I think of my troubles is in that i think I am unworthy of something this good and how if she knew who(the totality) the abuse made me, she would run away. I know that is not rational, but I do have real issues of feeling worthy of anything good. Be it God's grace or the lady I love. Sorry I was rambling there.


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#38696 - 11/28/04 11:19 PM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
Redsongbird Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/01
Posts: 209
Its been a while since I have posted on anything but this topic caught my eye. Last nite I did something I have not done in a long while....I watched the Sci-fi channel. The three movies "Species" was on and for the whole time I thought of nothing else but what would happen in the movie next...it was great!

Tobey


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#38697 - 11/29/04 03:04 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
CFO Dave Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/14/04
Posts: 104
Loc: Millis MA
I love to work with my hands and create. I do this with gardening and home improvement. I love to take an empty room or a blank piece of land and turn it into something beautiful. When I'm not actually doing it, I'm thinking and planing the next project.

Of course during the summer I love to spend the day at the beach swimming and having fun with my wife and kids.

Dave

_________________________
"We deceive ourselves when we fancy that only weakness needs support. Strength needs it far more."
-Madame Swetchine

"The soul that is within me no man can degrade."
-Frederick Douglas

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#38698 - 05/03/05 06:31 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
I see we have a lot of new people on the site, and thought they would like to read this and add to it.

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

Top
#38699 - 05/04/05 01:32 PM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
RangerJ19 Offline
Member

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 42
Loc: North Woods
Stories are my escape, because stories are my 'safe place.'

When I was a little boy, my father worked 80 or so hours a week, but he would come home just as I was going to bed, and he lay down next to me, and read a book until he fell asleep. (there I was elbowing him to stay awake and read to me more). So, ever sinse about 4 yrs old, stories = love and safety.

I think when I pick up a book, I'm in control. I can decide whether I want to be watching what's going on from a hundred miles above it, or feeling what the character is feeling. I can put it down or put it away. I can stop, rewind, etc.

So stories in any form are my escape. I am working on publishing a novel that I wrote for my best friend. I read stories out loud to the handful of people I love and trust closely. I run role-playing games for my casual friends, telling stories and making them laugh all the time.

I used to feel really bad about how I could escape into stories. But I don't so much any more. People talk about getting in touch w/ their inner child and befriending him. Well... the little boy in me who loved stories, loved stories before anyone did anything to him. He loved stories before he A-O on anyone else or hurt anyone.

Stories are where I go and it's ok, where it's pure and clean and safe. And stories I write and tell give me a feeling of safety and control to show love to the people I care about.

Hooray for escapism!

_________________________
Life is worth living.
'Cause of legal issues and the fact i'm still trying to get better, I don't PM or chat w/ minors.

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#38700 - 05/05/05 06:57 PM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
Charlie Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 148
There's always a safe place waiting for me inside a book. I'll read pretty much anything. I love writing 'cause it gives me a sense of control, like I own the words. When I can't say the words out loud I write them down, it's how I get by. I've been doing it since I was a little kid, always scribbling in notebooks and looking up words. I like to skate (board) to take my mind off things. Skating at night when there's no people around is the best feeling. Skating makes me real happy 'cause I shut out the world, all the bad thoughts and my mind becomes this blank piece of paper. I love the speed, the cool air on my face, the sound my board makes when it hits the concrete. BMX, dirt biking, anything to do with speed is cool. Computer and video games too!


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#38701 - 05/06/05 12:59 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
grendyl Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/04/03
Posts: 31
Loc: US West Coast
My favorite escape is going to a sheep ranch and go herding with my dog. When I'm sitting out there rolling green hills as far as the eye can see, sheep, I feel like I have left all of modernity behind.

Since the drugs (edit: pre>

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#38702 - 05/06/05 05:23 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
sophiesdad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/05
Posts: 462
Loc: Florida
Being a musician, I can escape into my music. when I was a kid, I could actually play a piece of music that I knew really well, and I would "become" the music - it was almost as if I left my body and the room and floated around with the music.
Before I injured my back beyond repair, I also studied Traditional Okinawin Goju Ryu Karate. My instructor, one day, was talking to me in class and told me that he recognized that I had a deeper quality of spirit. He started teaching me how to meditate using very deep breathing and visualization. After practicing, I learned that I could almost do it at will. I know this will sound weird, but one day I was sitting outside and saw a large bird soaring in the sky. I was actually able to focus enough to become that bird. I was experiencing life through its eyes and I was high up in the sky flying.
Unfortunately, I don't use these skills often enough especially when I am in the thick of stress, flashbacks, or dealing with one or another aspect of abuse.
My hope is that someday if I can get the operation that I need on my back that I'll be in good enough shape to take a week-long silent retreat.
If anyone is interested in this kind of thing, I would highly recommend the book "The Teachings of Don Juan" by Carlos Castaneda. He was a socieologist who in the 70s wanted to study the psychadelic drugs that the Shamans used. The whole book is about meeting an Indian Shaman called Don Juan and is a journal of his experiences. If you can get past the stuff about the peyote and other preparations, he talks about the other world experiences that he had. It's interesting that this guy (even though the books are great) missed the whole point that drugs aren't needed to attain out-of-body experiences and the Shamans knew this - some of the preparations that they used were either to enhance the experience or they were a starting point on the learning path.
OK, I've babbled on enough.... music and meditation are my escapes.

Sophiesdad

_________________________
There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"

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#38703 - 05/06/05 10:05 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
Jake_t2398 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 131
escape, my fav thing is hikin cuz i feel safe n there no people there , jus animals n watchin thm is a good escape.playin my drums , playin games on xbox or play station works 4 me 2. gettin totally lost in music n lyrics , most alt rock punk n metal, of course playin it way loud \:\) jake


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#38704 - 05/06/05 10:08 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
For me there have been a few nice refuges. I like almost any music, but my love is guitar and I am a pretty good blues player and love to listen to it as well. Its amazing music and I can never get over how honest and passionate it is. I also like to read poetry. The outdoors was a big part of my life when I was a child, I ran a lot when I was a teenager, and I still enjoy swimming - just losing myself in whatever thoughts I have as I go through the water.

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#38705 - 05/07/05 09:17 PM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
Kenn Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/10/04
Posts: 146
Loc: Toronto, Canada
I pack my digital camera with me whenever I go out. After a visit with my therapist yesterday, usually an occasion from which I need to chill, I walked home through a big park which includes a small farm, a duck pond, etc. I took lots of pictures, then continued walking home through one of the oldest parts of the city, taking pictures galore. It was wonderful!

Sometimes I don't know whether I am escaping or indulging when I write and/or listen to music but I enjoy doing both. I am working on putting my story down (maybe a book, maybe a film! - it's all very preliminary) and music helps me remember things.

Something my therapist said yesterday hit me. I was trying to describe the many ways I have "acted out" since the abuse and he tried to get me to see that just about everything I have done since the s.a. has been "acting out". Obviously not all of it has been self-destructive, so there have been some good ways I have found to "escape" too.

Anyway, it's a beautiful day and I want to enjoy some of it outside.

Peace,

Kenn

_________________________
"This above all; to thine own self be true."

William Shakespeare, Hamlet

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#38706 - 05/08/05 03:41 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
RockyMtJoe Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/04
Posts: 97
Loc: East of Pueblo, Colorado
1. I write short stories and such that show up on a few places on the internet.
2. music: classical and folk
3. I am as politically active as I can afford the $
5. I am getting to think depression is normal

Common themes for some.
I am getting old. A Vietnam vet: decorated combat medicl but even then no, not in my infantry unit I was "molested" as a young soldier as I was well a "sissy"? Whatever, married wife knows and deals with it bravely.

I write fantasy about men avenging the crimes rapists and pedophiles. They die rather hard and such.

I will eventually post the websites that publish but not now.

My passion for music is extreme and the music is the greatst healer, realize it takes study to find the best music perhaps a good thread on this board?

Colorado Joe


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#38707 - 05/10/05 04:26 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
Splitting Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/04
Posts: 62
As my name implies, I can disassociate with the best of them.

My favorite intentional escape was either laying on a sunny beach or long distance running. Nothing like a good 20 mile run full of endorphins. The world just ceases to exist. Aftewards, you are too tired to care any more!

Danny


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#38708 - 01/31/06 03:39 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Hi all, Besides SF books, I also used to listen to old time radio shows, on a Crystal radio in the shape of a pen. I would listen till late at night.

The reason I bring it up is that almost all of the old shows are in the public domain now. There are a lot of places on the net, that you can find them, some for free.

Free, but not to good quality.

The Cobalt Club, Old Time Radio forum, free

A list of places to get you started.

Take care,
Lostcowboy

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#38710 - 02/01/06 07:08 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
Escapism is a wonderful mechanism but it doesn't work for long, it is like travelling the world, without knowing the beauty that lies in you.

if you dont want to deal with pain, you escape, but where can you esacpe it is boulder you carrying within your self, everywhere you go, you can clos eyour eyes but woudl it help.

I carried my boulder for many year, till it brought my life to a grinding halt.

I often used to get lost in movies, their imaginary worlds , I loved the characters their happy endings, as it helped me imagine my own.

But that didnt help at all, just like getting too involved in other people's lives and misery. We all have our boulder to shed, and no one else can do it for the other.

But the worst kind of escapism I have experienced is emotional escapism, when I learnt to escape within yourself, from my emotions, I would go on for days without realising that I am depressed or just pissed, I would act out in various ways without addressing my emotions or the trigger.

As I learnt to disassociate from my pain, I learnt to tune out and get busy, getting busy was my most favourite thing to do. Speeding up my life, I would hardly notice anything wrong, everything looks beautiful and smug from a moving train.

Slowing down would have meant facing my truth, my pain, that I wasn't capable of handling.

So I learnt to meditate that gave me safe tools to deal with my pain, to release it without my mind going all nuts thinking, O lord I AM in pain, or that I cant take it any more ...

Because when I stopped mattering to myself, I stopped mattering to any one else, no onenoticed my pain as I had masked it so well, and that didnt help at all.

I got resentful secretly against myself and everyone else for ignoring me, and my pain., I looked towards the world to acknowledge my pain and that I have got a raw deal, while I wasn't willing to do that myself.

The one day it came to me that after so many people loving me and giving me sympathy I still dont feel loved, that is when I figured that what has been troubling me is not the world's APATHY but my own.

As I started tuning into my self more intensely, I learnt to fell my pain more intensely when I was IN pain. Soon I realised that I was never IN pain, it is just the energy of pain that was passing thru me, and when I felt it completely it would go away, I somehow healed it thru my acceptance.

The solution for me was to feel it. Feel myself, know self and in turn I learnt to care for my self, I felt cared and yes eventually loved.

NOw what I am learning to tune into myself more sharply and notice small 'skirmishes' within as they start building thru the day, before they boil over into a major calamity, as an angry episode or making things in my life go haywire.

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

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#38711 - 02/01/06 07:14 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
Today when I know that pain is my healer why would I run away from it, when it has come to teach me something about myself, then I should rather respect it and learn the lesson. Otherwise it would have to come again and again till I agree to learn what I had asked life teach me. It is my life->
_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

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#38712 - 02/01/06 07:15 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
Learning is the best way to escape pain.

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

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#38713 - 02/01/06 07:53 AM Re: Escapism, what do you do?
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
Found this crazy website which talked about this concept called 'Menstrual Hut for Men', where men can go and rant and bitch regularly to cleanse their system of the toxic emotions, what nature does for women naturally, each month.

http://www.freewillastrology.com/

PS: Sounds quite close to what MS stands for us.
;\)

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

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