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#386613 - 02/21/12 12:13 AM Re: Question for survivors..... [Re: Jim1104]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: Jim1104
Now, I have a question for all the supporters/spouses here:

Who is your absolute all time hero?

So, thinking back to the question you asked Lucy, I would ask you:

1. Was your greatest all time hero too weak to leave their circumstances to find an easier softer life? I canít answer that for you, but I would not exactly say the people I just listed were weak.
2. Ok, many of these people did not technically believe lies that they were told. I imagine, though, there were times when those who were not divine did believe someone who ultimately betrayed them.
3. How stupid do you think the people I mentioned above were? Surely, the smart thing according to their society would be to go with the flow and not turn the world upside down.


Jim, you always have some deep stuff to say. Truthfully, some deep stuff goes through your mind and your quill (pen).

Hero? Those guys and gals out there everyday in the military are true heroes not sports or any other people ascribed as heroes. Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero" song is probably my dissertation on the subject. I'm looking for one. Therefore, the other questions really are irrelevant to my answer since I'm still looking for one to believe in.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#386616 - 02/21/12 01:12 AM Re: Question for survivors..... [Re: phoenix321]
Jim1104 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 407
Loc: Louisiana, USA
I couldn't agree with you more about the members of our military. They are true heros. You know who else qualifies to be included...the wives, lovers and children of those heros.

Maybe this is a bit self serving, but having watched my dad head off to Vietnam at age 7, and then make a beeline to th house at the end of the day to see if there was a tape or letter, I know th kids of this generation suffer a lot when their mom and/or dad are deployed to combat. I know that the spouses suffer greatly when their hero is gone. Taking care of the kids, working and being an ever present support to their wife or husband is a sacrifice that many make willingly and they never receive the thanks they deserve.

One of the rules for pilots when I was growing up was they were supposed to call their wives when they landed after a flight. This was in the 70s, so the rule pretty much was related to training flights. Since the wives knew when their husbands were flying, some would be on pins an needles until the call came. I can't tell you how mad it made my mom when dad didn't call.

His last few months as wing commander there were some bad accidents caused by civilian pilots straying into military airspace. On his last flight as wing commander, dad failed to let mom know he landed safely. Boy, was she mad.

As you said, those who serve in the military are heros. So are their families. I really never thought about it until now, but all three of the questions do apply to, or could be asked about them. Now tere's a class of people who deserve our admiration.

Thanks for all your post. You are an insightful guy who blesses us all.

By the way. You mentioned Florida one time. I lived at Tyndal(sp?) AFB in panama city twice.

_________________________
Jim
Male/USA

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#386627 - 02/21/12 03:15 AM Re: Question for survivors..... [Re: Jim1104]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Jim, Military brat so definitely agree on the wives and kids. My sperm donor was a loser so when he went overseas (remote) I was glad he was gone and dreaded his return. Truth. I consider living in that hell for 17 years more than enough service to America for myself. Yeah, Tyndall twice for me. Thanks for your comments, Jim.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#386641 - 02/21/12 06:43 AM Re: Question for survivors..... [Re: Jim1104]
Dar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/15/11
Posts: 170
Loc: Missouri
Jim, WHAT a great response and very thoughtful of you. Love it!

Lucy,

Are they truly Remorseful? I think so but hard to trust my perception.


I want you to think of how he acted before all of this came to light. Looking back can you see the signs that you didn't even consider as being a sign of something isn't right with him.
Now YOU knowing those signs of the past, can help you determine if he is really changing and truly remorseful.

Are they just trying to appease you? Probably, people pleaser is his middle name.


People pleaser was my middle name too, I think (IMHO) that we all just wanted to be accepted and liked because of our past.
I wanted to be star in everyones eyes, not the loser that I felt I was. I just wanted a hug and by people liking me was kind of like a hug to me. Now the only HUG I need is from my wife and family. HE has to be open and honest with you and I think you will know when that happens.

Are they really changing? I think so. He has taken some risks and shared some hard things with me.


To me is now telling you things that he may never had told anyone else. That was a big change for me and I am still changing each and every day as the once hard work gets easier.
Try to remeber D day and how much he has changed since then.


Are they working on them selfs to heal? I think so but again hard to trust my perception.


IMHO, Once the hard work begins for him I think that it will become a healing process for you too.
He will be able to be open with you and be able to share his thoughts and fears with you. Nothing more to hide, Nothing more to fear. Your preception will change from fear to hope as this process moves forward.

I hope that you will find that the husband you thought you married is finally coming home to you.

Blessings

_________________________
All I ever wanted was a hug.

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#386733 - 02/21/12 07:03 PM Re: Question for survivors..... [Re: Dar]
lucylives Offline


Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 359
Dar, thank you. That is such a nice post. Yes I see many changes. Just last night as a matter of fact. He shocked me with his courage and I am in awe of him. I shocked myself too.


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#386740 - 02/21/12 08:25 PM Re: Question for survivors..... [Re: lucylives]
Dar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/15/11
Posts: 170
Loc: Missouri
Ahhhhh, The power of love is grand. grin
Little things like last night add up.
Keep moving forward with him Lucy, I am happy for you both.

_________________________
All I ever wanted was a hug.

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#386746 - 02/21/12 08:47 PM Re: Question for survivors..... [Re: lucylives]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: lucylives
...HERO by facing his issues head on and being courageous even when it is so scary....


The above statement says it all for me.

I never understood the following until I stopped acting out and asked for help.

* Making a commitment/vow,
* keeping the commitment,
* making the ultimate sacrifice,
* being there for each other

These all make relationships including marriage so wonderful.

Peace,
Avery

_________________________
aka DJsport

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