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#386532 - 02/20/12 02:39 PM A "must-read" for all
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6376
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I'm re-posting this article because there has been turnover at MS. Lots of new F&F and members. Members have families and friends whom are not reading this site and never will. I'm also re-posting this linked article because people around me (past and present) just don't "get it."

My life is toast and I can point to ignorance of what all "this" is about as the reason. The attached article is very well written as only a survivor can describe.

If you think you know everything you need to know...read this. If you are a F&F or a Survivor, read this please. Maybe someone else won't end up like me.

NOTE: No formula, no one-article, no single book or single diagnosis will ever match the unique, individual experience of any one survivor. No two people will ever experience the same event in the same way, with the same perception, the same horror or the same sadness. This article does not attempt to do that and neither should you...nor anyone...ever.


Some impacts of childhood sexual abuse o...ivor 1961 73)

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#386533 - 02/20/12 02:54 PM Re: A "must-read" for all [Re: Still]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown
...no one-article, no single book or single diagnosis will ever match the unique, individual experience of any one survivor. [b]No two people will ever experience the same event in the same way, with the same perception, the same horror or the same sadness....


I so agree!!!! I am at a loss to know how else to respond.

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#386570 - 02/20/12 07:43 PM Re: A "must-read" for all [Re: Avery46]
herowannabe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 386
Loc: USA
Thanks for this, Robbie! It is an eye-opening article.

A while back, in discussing with my husband his acting out, which was so flippin' artistic I didn't have a clue, he told me that he had the ability to read people. He said it was a little scary to him because the instant he'd meet a woman, he'd know if he could "work her", or not. I thought that was a helluva bold thing to say, and blew it off as him becoming a tad delusional due to ego overdose. However, I GET it now!

This article perfectly explained "hypersensitivity", a trait the abused child developed out of necessity to constantly read his environment. That section specifically included the survivor's uncanny ability to read people! Bingo! I get it, and apologize to my beloved for thinking he had visions of grandiousity! smile

I also understand that this ability to read others and a situation in a nanosecond (like a computer!) was what enables the survivor to be such a skilled deceiver, manipulator, and liar. This means I'm NOT a complete bonehead for not suspecting infidelity. This means I'm NOT an total airhead for not realizing he was drunk right under my nose. I was no match for the hypersensitivity that allowed him to pull off the deceit!

I think the only way we wives will ever really know if our survivors are being truthful with us is to "wait and see". Forget the words; what are the actions saying? Forget the action; what consistant changes in his personality and in his coping skills are apparent?

Thanks for this, Rob!
herowannabe

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For I know the plans I have made for you. Plans to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11


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#386572 - 02/20/12 07:48 PM Re: A "must-read" for all [Re: herowannabe]
herowannabe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 386
Loc: USA
P.S.
Rob, sweet, beautiful soul... your life is not toast. It's just gone from white bread to wheat bread. You are a SURVIVOR and you WILL make a fulfilling, nourishing, satisfying meal of it. Your awesome kids will be fed by you, and they will grow knowing their dad survived the worst of the most stale, decayed, worm-riddled food, yet remained a strong, healthy man they can count on, learn from, and look up to. The best is yet to be, Rob! Believe that, and believe in yourself as we here believe in you!

Sending you love!
herowannabe

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For I know the plans I have made for you. Plans to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11


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#386582 - 02/20/12 08:31 PM Re: A "must-read" for all [Re: herowannabe]
Jim1104 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 407
Loc: Louisiana, USA
Thanks Rob. Hero is right. Your life is not toast. It is water to a parched soul. God is using you to help me and many others locate and reclaim our souls that were stolen from us so long ago. You will never know what a hero you truly are.

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Jim
Male/USA

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#386583 - 02/20/12 08:32 PM Re: A "must-read" for all [Re: herowannabe]
Jim1104 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 407
Loc: Louisiana, USA
Thanks Rob. Hero is right. Your life is not toast. It is water to a parched soul. God is using you to help me and many others locate and reclaim our souls that were stolen from us so long ago. You will never know what a hero you truly are.

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Jim
Male/USA

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