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#387587 - 02/28/12 07:30 AM Re: How did other gays react to your assault/rape [Re: Tyr]
Tyr Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 180
and h.beat thank you for your words. respectfully im not looking for child abuse feedback though. the reason is it has nothing to do with this current acute present situation. this isnt about an abuse from long long ago. it is about the kickback from a community that has been fed misinformation and how to deal with that. does that make sense?

_________________________
Once you hear the details of victory, it is hard to distinguish it from a defeat.

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#387606 - 02/28/12 09:38 AM Re: How did other gays react to your assault/rape [Re: Tyr]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
I've talked in the past to several other gay male sexual assault victims and heard similar issues, and it's a terrible situation! My impression is that there is kind of a "knee jerk reaction" in place in the gay community to defending gay sex as OK and "sex positive", against all the negative characterizations put forth by the political opponents of "gay rights" (aka human rights and expected decency if you happen to be straight). And that completely gets in the way of recognizing how serious a problem sexual assault is! On top of all the other issues in the mix...

What do you think?

I do a certain amount of education in this area and part of the solution is correctly understanding the problem. Clearly recognizing what makes harmful sex harmful... makes joyous sex more possible. A lot of people can be behind that goal.

It doesn't help make it easier for you now though. I'm sorry.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

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#387610 - 02/28/12 10:05 AM Re: How did other gays react to your assault/rape [Re: LandOfShadow]
Tyr Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 180
LandofShadow thanks for your reply

But again. Its not about gay sex is ok. Its about muddying the character or attempting to kill the character of a victim of a violent act.

I have a few friends that have been supportive, but since I have rules and honor my rules I can't just "talk shit" about my rapist, or make up lies or spread rumors. He and his have no rules, no standards that is why hes a criminal and extremely dangerous and it is becoming increasingly difficult to fight and defend against something when you are bound by truth and rules and he is bound by only his own twisted ideas.

_________________________
Once you hear the details of victory, it is hard to distinguish it from a defeat.

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#387620 - 02/28/12 11:19 AM Re: How did other gays react to your assault/rape [Re: Tyr]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
I was trying to understand what's perhaps beneath the surface, motives behind why people tolerate, buy into whatever they are saying/hearing about you.

I'm sorry. I don't know details about what that is, and I understand how you don't feel free to say here.

Just to say, I feel sad for you and it sounds all too familiar.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

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#387651 - 02/28/12 04:56 PM Re: How did other gays react to your assault/rape [Re: LandOfShadow]
Artistandvictum Offline


Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 17
Loc: ohio
gay men spread rumors and talk shit to distract from how unfortunately depressing their own existence is. thats why im gay and have only 2 gay friends.


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#387673 - 02/28/12 07:40 PM Re: How did other gays react to your assault/rape [Re: Artistandvictum]
Tyr Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 180
thats quite true AandV

_________________________
Once you hear the details of victory, it is hard to distinguish it from a defeat.

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#387788 - 02/29/12 02:32 PM Re: How did other gays react to your assault/rape [Re: Tyr]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
I have had straight male friends who talked out of turn so I do not think one can apply labels so easily.

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#387789 - 02/29/12 02:34 PM Re: How did other gays react to your assault/rape [Re: prisonerID]
Artistandvictum Offline


Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 17
Loc: ohio
yea people just talk shit


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#387790 - 02/29/12 02:39 PM Re: How did other gays react to your assault/rape [Re: Artistandvictum]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
So true.

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#387929 - 03/01/12 02:40 PM Re: How did other gays react to your assault/rape [Re: Tyr]
Asmodeus Offline


Registered: 10/25/05
Posts: 112
Loc: Vestavia, Alabama, USA
I don't know if my experiences were different because they were on a gay teen forum and not in person, but everyone who said something to me about it was supportive.

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I may not be perfect, but at least I'm not fake.

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