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#385704 - 02/14/12 09:31 AM Talking About the Unthinkable
Dar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/15/11
Posts: 170
Loc: Missouri
I thought this was a very good artical and wanted to share it everyone.
Is it our time to speak up and help stop the abuse?
I think so!


Twenty years ago, no one wanted to admit that men beat their wives. Domestic violence was unthinkable, especially in affluent neighborhoods. Today, people know that domestic violence occurs in families across the spectrum of racial groups, and education and income levels. Society's perception of, and response to, domestic violence was changed by battered women's advocates who continued to talk about violence in the home, even when those around them wished they would stop.

Today, that education process must continue. Violence in the home includes sexual violence. And just as with domestic violence, the effects are intergenerational. Clearly, preventing the sexual abuse of future generations by treating the victims of today should be a priority. A key strategy for doing so is to implement a youth development approach that ensures services and opportunities for all youth, that builds on young people's strengths, and that provides support for youth whose developmental process has been delayed by abuse and neglect. Young people who have been sexually abused, especially by a trusted adult, suffer damage to almost every aspect of their personal development: sexual, physical, emotional, and spiritual.


Child Sexual Abuse: The Impact on Adolescent Development


Our culture demands that children mature from an egocentric to a sociocentric focus. They are expected to participate in school, become involved in the community, and develop relationships outside their families. This is a challenging process even for the average young person; living with abuse makes the process incredibly difficult. During adolescence, youth are growing and changing in a range of ways that are affected by sexual abuse:

Physiological Change: How tall they are or how much they weigh becomes a source of concern to young people during adolescence, particularly as they compare themselves with their peers. That comparison may produce feelings of anxiety or contribute to dampening their self-esteem. For youth who have experienced abuse or criticism by their parents, teasing about their looks may reinforce their perception that they are not valued.


Emotional Development: Young people in abusive situations must redirect their energy from emotional development to survival. When they are forced to focus on avoiding the violent or sexual advances of an adult caretaker, they do not make the same developmental progress as children who receive unconditional love, support, and guidance.


Cognitive Change: Young people develop their cognitive thinking ability, which means that they will reexperience and reframe abuse that occurred to them earlier, particularly if it began when they were young.


Moral and Spiritual Development: During adolescence, youth begin to question the meaning of life and specifically to think about the larger world, the role they play in it, and the options and opportunities available to them.


Sexual Development: For some young people, it is during adolescence that the real consequences of being sexually abused occur. When a child of 3 or 4 years of age is sexually abused, it is not a sexual event in the way adults may think. It is physically hurtful, confusing, and alarming, but they do not have a context for defining the abuse. When those children turn 12 or 13, they cognitively reassess the abuse as they begin to learn about or experience sexual feelings.

While all young people's development is affected by both internal and external factors, each youth experiences growing up differently. For youth who are abused, however, that process is negatively affected, resulting in certain reactions or behaviors.

_________________________
All I ever wanted was a hug.

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#385738 - 02/14/12 03:23 PM Re: Talking About the Unthinkable [Re: Dar]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Really good, Dar.

I've seen other people that didn't have CSA and just had an abusive childhood end up with all those same problems. Not being valued much at all during childhood can cause all the same problems depending on the individual. And, have seen a few with CSA that had wonderful parents not be affected that much it seemed and/or they got help young and got, more importantly, understanding from parents.

Money has absolutely nothing to do with a good childhood. I've seen people that grew up dirt poor and far more adjusted than most. All they had was each other and they made the best of it. Their emotional development and all else was great. Some I met, even though I was lower middle class for the first 10 years or so, I'd trade my shitty childhood for their's in a second. Money doesn't buy happiness. It only buys temporary security.

Just because one lives in a nice house, has most everything doesn't mean a thing if it's an empty house and they're latch-key kids. If it's possible (getting rare nowadays), a parent, mom or dad, should stay home with the kids till their grown and on their own. It makes a huge difference.

Too many parents want medals for taking care of kids. No, that's your job. If your kids grow up happy and contribute to society, you did your job. That's the reward. When they get older, they'll pay you back. On the other end, parents that don't be parents end up pissed their kids never come home when grown and shun their parents brought it all on themselves. Karma is a bitch.

CSA or child abuse affects many differently but it affects. Kids with abusive childhoods can take the sex our of Mike Lew's book and see how general child abuse affected them.

I do think kids that have CSA and had good/great parents can turn out different. I've seen some and they credit that as why they didn't wander aimlessly in life. It makes a huge difference. Good post, Dar.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#385743 - 02/14/12 03:42 PM Re: Talking About the Unthinkable [Re: Dar]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: Dar


Moral and Spiritual Development: During adolescence, youth begin to question the meaning of life and specifically to think about the larger world, the role they play in it, and the options and opportunities available to them.


Many look to that to find someone who cares. You know, god or goddess or a philosophy shared by others. New Age worked for me to a point. Enya's music and the art was peaceful. On the same token, if they find a faith that is full of hypocrisy or shuns people with problems but courts them (hypocrisy, using), it's a detrimental experience. Look no further than the Catholic church and how many ditched it because of it's huge child sex abuse scandals.

This is totally a ridiculous axiom: I personally think a spiritual platforms that offers a cat as god coupled with a flock that offers unconditional acceptance could be extremely successful. It might be an empty religion but if it serves the needs of the people, it could work. Oh, wait, this is a religion. haha Those faiths that don't meet the needs of the people consistently fail.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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