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#385538 - 02/13/12 05:37 AM Nervous.....
Treehugger75 Offline


Registered: 02/08/12
Posts: 158
Loc: Ontario Canada
I am going to a group session later today. I started the sessions before I let all these buried memeories spill out in an emotion filled tirade to my 1 - 1 couselling. I woke up before the sun with apounding headache and aches in all of my upper body. i got sick after my first cup of coffee. Odd that because most times i drink 8-10 cups a day. I thought i was looking forward to it. is this my bodies way of slowing me down? The last week has been an endorphine high. I may have over extended myself and now am feeling the effects. I really want to go. I'm not sure if I'll be able to sit through 2 hours of "depresson" treatment without bringing it all back down to me and my issues. I have alot of respect for the other members and i dont want to detract from the steps they are taking to make their lives better. I guess these are the "difficult" things i will have to power through. Today it may be hard to exercise self control and to keep my emoytions in check. I WILL try my best.

_________________________
I will never ALWAYS be right, I wasn't wrong, I am whats left.

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#385539 - 02/13/12 05:47 AM Re: Nervous..... [Re: Treehugger75]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6356
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
The first group experience seems to be 90% nerves and 10% due-attention. To make matters worse, its that way for every new guy, so if its an entirely new group, expect a lot of silence. But silence is fine! You'll be among others with same/similar pasts who want to deal with it. Its a wonderful thing.

I won't start my tree hugger jokes till you return from the group with a good report.

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

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#385541 - 02/13/12 05:59 AM Re: Nervous..... [Re: Still]
Treehugger75 Offline


Registered: 02/08/12
Posts: 158
Loc: Ontario Canada
smile thank you.
Maybe i wasnt clear. Ive been going to this group for 10 weeks already. My groups are mondays and my 1-1 with my counsellor tuesdays. I broke my silence two weeks ago to my T. So ive only been to one group since coming forward. Last week i may have shared too much. I raged in the hallway for 15 minutes over the parking problems and automated payment for it. Then had the epiphany of the whole "why" question the next day with my T. These people are good people. im ashamed of the way i acted last week. I always feel my lowest after i rage in the presence strangers. Deep down i know they didnt deserve to be exposed to my four-letter-word rant and my heaving of work books. i just lose grip sometimes. I'm very reluctant to go back today. I know i shouldnt feel this way. but i do smirk

_________________________
I will never ALWAYS be right, I wasn't wrong, I am whats left.

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#385556 - 02/13/12 09:21 AM Re: Nervous..... [Re: Treehugger75]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3296
Loc: back in the USA
Feelings just are. No "should" about it.

_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#385599 - 02/13/12 05:41 PM Re: Nervous..... [Re: traveler]
Treehugger75 Offline


Registered: 02/08/12
Posts: 158
Loc: Ontario Canada
Funny, how our perceptions can fool us even if we know they are there. I just returned from group and no one was offended in the least by what I had assumed was grounds for total ejection from the program. In fact a couple said they were happy I felt comfortable enough with them, to show weakness in face of frustration because they have had similar outbursts. funny how things arent what they seem.

Illustrative joke i heard last night - I typed ninjas into a search the other day. It came back "ninjas cannot be found". Well played ninjas, well played.

_________________________
I will never ALWAYS be right, I wasn't wrong, I am whats left.

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#385603 - 02/13/12 05:53 PM Re: Nervous..... [Re: Treehugger75]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
I know the intense feelings I had before the group were about being "nervous'. The impulse was to stay out of the group or to believe the group was going to not hear me.

The truth is: Your presence in the group is truly a gift. You and everyone in the group is a gift to each other. The group will function as well as it will.

As hard as it might be - "just be".

Being apart of a group is probably the best healing possible next to 1:1. "Show up" as they say and watch was happens in the group.

Say "it is good to see you" to the other group members and take in what they say back to you. As hard as it might be don't take any negativity personally. They are just like you.

I am excited for you!!!!

Let us know how is goes, ok?

Peace,
Avery

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#385609 - 02/13/12 06:39 PM Re: Nervous..... [Re: Avery46]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1540
I too was nervous and afraid at my first group. I was afraid when I spoke no one would listen but instead they listened and understood. I was surprised how some said my story and feelings sounded like their experiences, how I felt was scared and the emotions were running through my body as I talked. After I spoke, I felt a sense of relief-I was in the company of others who truly understood the pain and suffering. I know you will do well and gain supporters who will help you. Good luck



Edited by KMCINVA (02/13/12 06:54 PM)

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#385610 - 02/13/12 06:40 PM Re: Nervous..... [Re: Avery46]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
avery, so beautifully said!

i am excited for you too, treehugger. i so miss being in a group of men who "get it." smile

_________________________
Jeff

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