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#385489 - 02/12/12 08:54 PM How do women view Male victims
DarkHadou Offline


Registered: 10/13/10
Posts: 117
women in general, how do they view men who were sexually abused as boys by adult men? do they view them as being weaker? less of a man? damaged? One of the reasons why I would never put myself in a sexual situation with a female is because I don't want it and also because it's disgusting, especially for the fact that I had sex with 3 males in total, my abusers, 5-12, one of them being my own father. That's disgusting. Who wants to have sex with someone who had sex with their own father? that's disgusting, nobody would, especially when you penetrated him (not my idea) with your penis. Imagine that, pretty sick stuff, would make any women not want to approach you in a sexual way, it's understandable, i'm disgusting, i wouldn't want to have sex either if the women had incest, most likely not


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#385494 - 02/12/12 09:20 PM Re: How do women view Male victims [Re: DarkHadou]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: DarkHadou
women in general, how do they view men who were sexually abused as boys by adult men? do they view them as being weaker? less of a man? damaged? One of the reasons why I would never put myself in a sexual situation with a female is because I don't want it and also because it's disgusting, especially for the fact that I had sex with 3 males in total, my abusers, 5-12, one of them being my own father. That's disgusting. Who wants to have sex with someone who had sex with their own father? that's disgusting, nobody would, especially when you penetrated him (not my idea) with your penis. Imagine that, pretty sick stuff, would make any women not want to approach you in a sexual way, it's understandable, i'm disgusting, i wouldn't want to have sex either if the women had incest, most likely not


I'd say 90% shun us (in my personal experience). On the same token, I'd say 99% of men shun us (in my personal experience).

It doesn't bother me though (I'll be friends with CSA survivors). Shit happens.



Edited by phoenix321 (02/13/12 09:27 PM)
Edit Reason: correction
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#385500 - 02/12/12 09:38 PM Re: How do women view Male victims [Re: phoenix321]
Fidex Offline


Registered: 11/09/11
Posts: 37
I doubt there's an 'in general' answer. There are a lot of women who are caring and supportive of their male friends and partners from what i've seen on this site.


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#385502 - 02/12/12 09:49 PM Re: How do women view Male victims [Re: phoenix321]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6500
Loc: Terminus
Originally Posted By: phoenix321


I'd say 90% shun us (in my personal experience). On the same token, I'd say 99% of men shun us (in my personal experience).



I honestly think you are 100% correct.

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#385508 - 02/12/12 10:11 PM Re: How do women view Male victims [Re: DarkHadou]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: DarkHadou
...how do they view men who were sexually abused as boys by adult men? ....


DarkHadou,

You ask some very great questions. I agree with you so much. I have asked myself these same questions. I am not sure we will get those answers here on MS though. I have not sat down to write out these questions so, "seeing" them written out here is like a light bulb coming on.

I know I asked myself the question "would my wife have sex with me if she knew I had sex with my mom" and "my uncle" and .... The last time I asked myself this question was 21 years ago. I divorced my wife shortly there after so, I canNOT ask her the question anymore. Incest or any sexual abuse is disgusting. When I started having memories 5 years ago, I told my partner at the time. I was told your lying. "I want to have sex" is what I was told.

I hope the answer will come someday.

Thanks for posting these questions.

Peace,
Avery



Edited by Avery46 (02/12/12 10:11 PM)
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#385512 - 02/12/12 11:18 PM Re: How do women view Male victims [Re: phoenix321]
timetested Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 30
I don't know the figures, but I would ask the question: is the shunning a result of the actual act of abuse, which somehow pollutes us, or is the shunning a reaction to our own perception of ourselves that we transmit to others? I am not sure.


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#385515 - 02/12/12 11:30 PM Re: How do women view Male victims [Re: timetested]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: timetested
I don't know the figures, but I would ask the question: is the shunning a result of the actual act of abuse, which somehow pollutes us, or is the shunning a reaction to our own perception of ourselves that we transmit to others? I am not sure.


Does it hurt any less?

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#385521 - 02/13/12 12:12 AM Re: How do women view Male victims [Re: phoenix321]
redsox046 Offline


Registered: 09/06/10
Posts: 56
Loc: BOSTON
Me and my ex-girlfriend were sleeping together off and on for a couple years and i told her i had been abuse and she was really supportive and accepting and still found me attractive but then i went into detail about it when i was drunk one night and now she wants nothing to do with me sexually anymore. So word to the wise...i think its great to tell your sexual partner or girlfriend or wife about it to get their support but try not to go into to much detail about it because i think most women want to have a certain view of the guy their with.


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#385535 - 02/13/12 04:49 AM Re: How do women view Male victims [Re: phoenix321]
timetested Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 30
No, it is simply a question of what has to be fixed.


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#385562 - 02/13/12 10:18 AM Re: How do women view Male victims [Re: timetested]
Jim1961 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/10/09
Posts: 1138
Loc: Pa, but likely traveling...
We were married for about two years or so when my wife read a news story about a pedo getting arrested and blaming it on being a CSA victim.

She said something like: Men that were abused as boys are high risk to hurt kids themselves.

As we had an infant in our house at the time, I thought "well, I will never tell her about THAT!" I think I was a little fearful too that she might be RIGHT!

That was 18 years ago, and I still haven't told her... (and yes the kids were/are totally safe with me around).

Jimmy

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