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#385427 - 02/12/12 07:23 AM HELP - so worried
intruthisfreedom Offline


Registered: 01/09/12
Posts: 14
Hello all,

I wrote a few weeks ago about my gorgeous man who had SA by an older boy when he was 12 for two years at boarding school.

He admitted it around 4 years ago and he thought and I thought he was getting better.

Just after Xmas he broke down with his family, I had never seen him sob so hard in pain.

Since then he has hardly left the house is eating really badly too many things to describe how low he is. He is not getting better.

He does realise he is not in a good place and is asking for help. However he doesn't realise yet just how bad he is. I watch him try to clean the fridge for example and he doesn't realise he is so unaware like he is lost, completely lost.

My heart is breaking, as I write this tears stream down my face. He doesn't desserve to feel this way he is so gorgeous and perfect.

His parents have come down to stay and are trying to help him but they don't understand they don't see how bad it is. They say things that hurt him and wind him up (sometimes he doesn't even realise but I see it). Or his dad says "come on.. he doesn't see he can't 'come on' he is ill.

He came out the bath yesterday and said he was thinking about picking up the razor and slitting in his wrists!!! They don't take it seriously they are missing his heart... I don't want to leave him alone and not even with them because they miss it!!

They are trying to get him to call a victim support phone line. I know in my heart he needs more, more than a therapist once a week. He is so bad.

They don't understand things as well as I do.

I said to his mum crying he is so ill, he needs more than just a helpline he needs to go somewhere and have serious help. She just said yes we will take him to the doctor!

The doctors wont help they don't know what they are talking about he needs a specialist somebody he trusts, not somebody who will send him for evaluation and try and give him antidepressants. He is clever, intelligent.

I am looking for places to send him. In the UK!!! anybody???

I need Help... please x




Edited by intruthisfreedom (02/12/12 07:27 AM)

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#385435 - 02/12/12 09:41 AM Re: HELP - so worried [Re: intruthisfreedom]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3377
Loc: somewhere in Africa
soooo sorry for your pain - both of you.

I've been there (as a male survivor) and i know it is hell. That was years ago and life is better now - though there are still struggles. I wouldn't have made it without 3 kinds of help -

1. a supportive and loving wife
2. professional help that knows about CSA
3. my Higher Power

Definitely get skilled, experienced intervention. Keep at it until you find help.

Sorry I cant help more but ...
If you believe in prayer, i'm doing that for you.
If you believe in positive energy - i'm sending loads of it your way.
I wish you both all the best.

lee

_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#385449 - 02/12/12 12:18 PM Re: HELP - so worried [Re: traveler]
intruthisfreedom Offline


Registered: 01/09/12
Posts: 14
nk you so much for your reply. It gives me faith to know you are healing.

I have been calling around trying to find somewhere.

A bit of luck in a lovely survivor who runs some groups and talks.

Hopefully my man will call him tomorrow I get a good feeling from him.

If anybody can recommend any therapists/help in the UK anywhere please let me know. I am desperate.

Still no luck with his parents who think he just needs some fresh air. Pray they will listen and understand...

So glad I can be with my man everyday. He needs me and I am right here for him.

Being strong in the UK,

Love Truth x


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#385471 - 02/12/12 04:57 PM Re: HELP - so worried [Re: intruthisfreedom]
Jim1104 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 407
Loc: Louisiana, USA
((((truth)))))

_________________________
Jim
Male/USA

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#385495 - 02/12/12 09:20 PM Re: HELP - so worried [Re: Jim1104]
intruthisfreedom Offline


Registered: 01/09/12
Posts: 14
He is getting worse crying having attacks laying on floor paralysed not able to breath. Saying he has nothing left and has mentioned suicide twice now. I am so scared. I feel like my heart has broken. He keeps saying sorry.that he tried to give m what I wanted and failed.

I thought we were building a life together and now it feels like it is gone. We are 28.

We just finished our flat and my career just getting moving again finally doing what I want (I'm also recovering from mild SA)

We were talking about children, which is my dream.† Now he says all he wants is to live with his parents in the countryside and do nothing, he has nothing left.

He doesn't have any fight no interest if I say he can get better or we have so much ahead, he doesn't want any of it.

He has an attack every time I mention any form of help.† He is lost, completely lost.

The person I would go to for advice is him now he is not there.

Tonight his attack lasted for hours, it was like he wasn't there. Laying on the bed paralysed, panting, eyes closed, in another world...He is becoming more distant in his eyes I can see it, its as if I feel him dying.


Everything he is saying is like he is saying goodbye.

I am terrified. I feel like I'm loosing him.


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#385530 - 02/13/12 03:22 AM Re: HELP - so worried [Re: intruthisfreedom]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3377
Loc: somewhere in Africa
I can't give medical or pysichiatric advice - BUT in a situation like you are describing, he may need to be hospitalized for his own safety. DON'T take any chances or waste time. Are there hot lines or an emergency room number you can call?

Lee

_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#385531 - 02/13/12 03:22 AM Re: HELP - so worried [Re: intruthisfreedom]
eyesforward Offline


Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 92
Loc: Ontario
intruth ...

I know the look you describe. I saw it on my sweet survivors face last week -- hunted, haunted, in pain. Trust yourself and your love for him; you know that he is experiencing crushing emotional pain.

Here is what someone wrote to me:

When someone is depressed enough to feel suicidal itís incredibly hard to assure them that things can get better. The feelings they are having feel permanent, which is why they start considering such a drastic way out of the pain they are experiencing, as if there is no other option but to end their own life in order to escape it.

As far as how to help him, being there to listen is crucial. As someone who has felt suicidal in my past, I can attest that a person who is considering suicide feels a pervasive sense of loneliness, like they canít relate to anyone since no one on earth can possibly understand the pain he or she is in. To be clear, you don't want to understand to the point that you are in the same pain as this will not help either of you. Rather, being there for him to listen to and affirm his pain is what he needs to make a connection, and connections are essential to him staying around. Try and avoid giving advice or making value judgments, except to recommend that he see a professional who can also listen and provide a connection.

Re: safety, ask him point blank if he has a plan to harm himself.

If the answer is yes ask for specifics like how, when, where, etc. If the answers to these questions lead you to believe that his suicide is pending intervene immediately by calling 911 [emergency services are 999 in the UK, I think].

If he doesnít have an immediate plan try to come to an agreement with him where he promises not to harm himself within a set timeframe. This can be for as much as a day or as little as an hour. Breaking it down this way makes his existence more manageable, as in we are talking about small chunks of time, not a whole lifetime, which is how a suicidal person views the enormity of their pain. Also ask for a promise where if he feels he canít keep his agreement for the duration of the agreed upon timeframe that he come to you for further support. Again itís about maintaining a connection.

I base my advice on Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training, or ASIST, which I received through my work. I have had to use in it practice a number of times and believe me it works. In closing I am sorry someone you care about is in so much pain. No doubt it is painful for you also. I hope things get better for both of you soon.


I would add to the agreement part of this, start to get support for him and for you. Call one or several of help lines listed below. And tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth. Don't hide what you're dealing with or ignore what your sensing.


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#385532 - 02/13/12 03:30 AM Re: HELP - so worried [Re: eyesforward]
eyesforward Offline


Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 92
Loc: Ontario
About going for urgent mental health care:

I beg you to let go of any opinions about medication or hospitalization. Just get him somewhere safe where he can't hurt himself.

TAKE HIM TO A HOSPITAL WITH A MENTAL HEALTH INPATIENT UNIT IMMEDIATELY. Have him say he's having suicidal thoughts and that he wants to be admitted. This is usually much better than being admitted under legal authority

Let your user name "in truth is freedom" be your guide. If he can't tell the medical people that he experienced childhood trauma, then you tell them. The words "childhood trauma" are generic enough to not violate his need to deal with this his way. Make sure they write it down in his chart.

As soon as you see this message, go see him and get him there. DO NOT WAIT.

Once you get there and if you need support, call your friends or his friends and ask them to join you.

Above all else, get him safe so that he can heal.



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#385534 - 02/13/12 04:32 AM UK suicide prevention help lines [Re: eyesforward]
eyesforward Offline


Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 92
Loc: Ontario
UK suicide prevention resources -- 24 hour help lines. Call them they can help you. Please please don't wait.

SupportLine Telephone Helpline: 01708 765200
email info@supportline.org.uk or
write to SupportLine at PO Box 1596, Ilford, Essex IG1 3FW - Provides emotional support and details of support groups, helplines, agencies and counsellors throughout the UK

Calm: 0800 585858
www.thecalmzone.net
Campaign Against Living Miserably Help and support for young men aged 15-35 on issues which include depression and suicide.

HopeLine UK Ė 0800 068 4141
for practical advice on suicide prevention www.papyrus.org.uk


Premier Lifeline: 08456 52 52 52
email lifeline@premier.org.uk,
www.premier.org.uk/lifeline
Helpline providing a listening service, information, emotional and spiritual support from a Christian perspective

Samaritans: 0845 790 9090 (1850 60 90 90 Rep. Of Ireland),
email jo@samaritans.org,
www.samaritans.org
24 hr helpline offering emotional support for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which may lead to suicide

Youth to Youth: 020 8896 3675
www.youth2youth.co.uk
Help and support for young people up to 19 years


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#385546 - 02/13/12 07:53 AM UK survivor suicidal -- please help! [Re: intruthisfreedom]
eyesforward Offline


Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 92
Loc: Ontario
Just quoting the first post to bring the thread to the top.

Originally Posted By: intruthisfreedom
He is getting worse crying having attacks laying on floor paralysed not able to breath. Saying he has nothing left and has mentioned suicide twice now. I am so scared. I feel like my heart has broken. He keeps saying sorry.that he tried to give m what I wanted and failed.

I thought we were building a life together and now it feels like it is gone. We are 28.

We just finished our flat and my career just getting moving again finally doing what I want (I'm also recovering from mild SA)

We were talking about children, which is my dream.† Now he says all he wants is to live with his parents in the countryside and do nothing, he has nothing left.

He doesn't have any fight no interest if I say he can get better or we have so much ahead, he doesn't want any of it.

He has an attack every time I mention any form of help.† He is lost, completely lost.

The person I would go to for advice is him now he is not there.

Tonight his attack lasted for hours, it was like he wasn't there. Laying on the bed paralysed, panting, eyes closed, in another world...He is becoming more distant in his eyes I can see it, its as if I feel him dying.


Everything he is saying is like he is saying goodbye.

I am terrified. I feel like I'm loosing him.



Top
#385553 - 02/13/12 09:15 AM Re: UK survivor suicidal -- please help! [Re: eyesforward]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3377
Loc: somewhere in Africa
PLEASE tell me there has been an intervention!

_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#385558 - 02/13/12 09:26 AM Re: UK survivor suicidal -- please help! [Re: traveler]
ACRoberts Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/10
Posts: 242
Loc: New Jersey (recently moved fro...
I totally agree with everyone who as replied at this point. I am sorry I didn't see your message before. PLEASE get professional intervention for your partner. When we are at our deepest points, it is often difficult to act in a way that will help us. I know that I isolated when I was at my deepest point and secretly wanted someone to "save" me and validate my pain. I wish you all the best.

_________________________
Allan
________________________
WOR Sequoia 2011--it has changed my life!

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#385598 - 02/13/12 05:18 PM Re: UK survivor suicidal -- please help! [Re: ACRoberts]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3377
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Any news?

_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#385600 - 02/13/12 05:42 PM Re: UK survivor suicidal -- please help! [Re: traveler]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
I know deep pain like your man is experiencing. The deep sobbing is good but, the aloneness feelings afterwards can be so tough to handle.

I hope he got some help. I sounds like he will need some help.

Any news?

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#385604 - 02/13/12 05:56 PM Re: UK survivor suicidal -- please help! [Re: Avery46]
herowannabe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 386
Loc: USA
When we are most in need, we are oftentimes completely incapable of helping ourselves. We know we are at the bottom of a pit, and that we should start climbing out before it's too late, but we simply don't have the drive to begin. It's then that a hand needs to come and physically drag us up to sunlight and air.

In wanting to go stay at his folks house, he's throwing out the signal that he just needs to be taken care of.

Please do whatever you must to get him help. It doesn't sound like he has the strength to do it on his own.

ADD'L Thought: You aren't married yet(?) so you may not legally be able to secure help for him? If this is the case, maybe you could print out these posts and present them to his parents so they will intervene??? Just a thought...

Prayfully-
herowannabe



Edited by herowannabe (02/13/12 05:59 PM)
Edit Reason: Another thought...
_________________________


For I know the plans I have made for you. Plans to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11


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#385614 - 02/13/12 07:15 PM Re: UK survivor suicidal -- please help! [Re: herowannabe]
eyesforward Offline


Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 92
Loc: Ontario
Getting married is really easy in most places. In mine the legal requirement is that 5 sentences are said:

each person in the couple:
- know no reason the other party can't be married
- I take the other as my legally wedded spouse

officiant:
- by the authority given me by the provincial legislation I pronouce you married.

That and $350 bucks will do it (150 for the license + 200 for the officiant).

Regrets, I've got a few.


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#385623 - 02/13/12 09:26 PM Re: UK suicide prevention help lines [Re: eyesforward]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: eyesforward
UK suicide prevention resources -- 24 hour help lines. Call them they can help you. Please please don't wait.

SupportLine Telephone Helpline: 01708 765200
email info@supportline.org.uk or
write to SupportLine at PO Box 1596, Ilford, Essex IG1 3FW - Provides emotional support and details of support groups, helplines, agencies and counsellors throughout the UK

Calm: 0800 585858
www.thecalmzone.net
Campaign Against Living Miserably Help and support for young men aged 15-35 on issues which include depression and suicide.

HopeLine UK Ė 0800 068 4141
for practical advice on suicide prevention www.papyrus.org.uk


Premier Lifeline: 08456 52 52 52
email lifeline@premier.org.uk,
www.premier.org.uk/lifeline
Helpline providing a listening service, information, emotional and spiritual support from a Christian perspective

Samaritans: 0845 790 9090 (1850 60 90 90 Rep. Of Ireland),
email jo@samaritans.org,
www.samaritans.org
24 hr helpline offering emotional support for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which may lead to suicide

Youth to Youth: 020 8896 3675
www.youth2youth.co.uk
Help and support for young people up to 19 years


Bump. Perfect info. Sorry, not in the UK. frown

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#385631 - 02/13/12 10:20 PM Re: UK suicide prevention help lines [Re: phoenix321]
intruthisfreedom Offline


Registered: 01/09/12
Posts: 14
Hello all, thank you so much for your messages and support.

After a night of sick worry and knowing in my whole body we needed to make the decision for him and take him somewhere. This morning I kept telling his dad he wouldn't get better on his own and gave him my opinion of calling a top clinic I knew of he called and got an appointment this evening(UK time) so after a day of my man sobbing and saying he didn't want to go, confussion,pain and everything else. We got him to go to the appointment.

After speaking with the doctor he said he should stay there for a week and go from there.

We had to leave him there, I think he was scared but ok with the decision. Then we left and he called his dad shouting at him confussed because they had taken his phone off him.

Spent the rest of the evening talking to his family and a very good friend of his who had also come to support him. I've realised how far and deep this thing had gotten, how ill he has been and how it has been affecting me.

I am really scared but just so glad he is somewhere safe and secure.

His dad still wants to look after him himself which is crazy, a lot of unhealthy relationships have been going on. I pray the rest of his family and me get help also and realise all these unhealthy patterns of co dependency.

I'll be checking posts for next while as I can't sleep so any replies are much appreciated.

Part of me doesn't want to see him tomorrow I feel like I need to be on my own but the other part of me wants to be there at 10am.

X


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#385637 - 02/13/12 10:43 PM Re: UK suicide prevention help lines [Re: intruthisfreedom]
eyesforward Offline


Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 92
Loc: Ontario
intruth

I'm so very relieved to see your post. You did the right thing.

My recent experience visiting my love in a mental health unit (ward) was okay. After the chaos that preceded his arrival on the unit, the quiet of the area on the weekend was welcome. Of course you'll see him on a Wednesday, so who knows.

Take care of yourself in this. Ask people to do things for you -- buy groceries, drive you places, whatever you need ask.


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#385639 - 02/13/12 10:46 PM Re: UK suicide prevention help lines [Re: intruthisfreedom]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3377
Loc: somewhere in Africa
I thank God and thank you that he is "safe" for the time being. Good thing you did - however the next steps go... and it will probly not be easy.

The community here is very supportive. Draw on whatever strength you can and know there are many (including silent members who do not post) who are behind you and with you in this hellish period.

Grace, mercy, and peace to you!
Lee

_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#385640 - 02/13/12 10:48 PM Re: UK suicide prevention help lines [Re: eyesforward]
intruthisfreedom Offline


Registered: 01/09/12
Posts: 14
Just worry because when ever he has been afraid I'm here for him when he is crying I comfort him, who will be there for him in there? He wakes up in the night afraid all the time.

is your man out of the ward now? How is he feeling? How often did you visit and stay? I don't want to stop his recovery by being there all the time.


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#385649 - 02/13/12 11:12 PM Re: HELP - so worried [Re: intruthisfreedom]
herowannabe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 386
Loc: USA
Quote:
His dad still wants to look after him himself which is crazy, a lot of unhealthy relationships have been going on. I pray the rest of his family and me get help also and realise all these unhealthy patterns of co dependency.


Most recovery programs incorporate the family into the patient's recovery. It's vital that those close to the patient understand the recovery process and are prepared to participate for the sake of the sufferer.

To accomplish this, the psychiatrist will undoubtedly want to talk to you to better ascertain the conditions in which the patient lives and to discover any areas that could derail recovery. If your beloved's health care team doesn't set up a meeting with the family, you should request one! You are very, very much a part of his recovery, which will require he goes home to a safe, secure environment. You or his parents will have to provide that environment. You must be helped and supported in this!

Also, if you have a member of the clergy to turn to, (at your own place of worship or the pastoral staff at the hospital) you might consider contacting him/her.

A visit from a trusted pastor can provide much comfort and hope to one who is so depressed/ill. Oftentimes, the clergy has special training in offering spiritual support along with medical attention. S/he can possibly suggest support groups and other resources for you and your beloved. The clergy member can also provide valuable support for YOU! At the very least, the clergy can offer prayer for your loved one. Sometimes the worship community has a "prayer line" that consists of many people praying specifically for the sufferer.

You've done the very best for your sweetheart! It's a very hard thing to do, but now the healing can begin in earnest! There is light at the end of the dark tunnel you're in! Have faith and take care of yourself, too!!!

Blessings-
herowannabe

_________________________


For I know the plans I have made for you. Plans to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11


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#385650 - 02/13/12 11:21 PM Re: HELP - so worried [Re: intruthisfreedom]
herowannabe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 386
Loc: USA
Quote:
Just worry because when ever he has been afraid I'm here for him when he is crying I comfort him, who will be there for him in there? He wakes up in the night afraid all the time.

is your man out of the ward now? How is he feeling? How often did you visit and stay? I don't want to stop his recovery by being there all the time.


No worries! He'll likely be given a sedative so he will be able to sleep. If he becomes very upset, a doctor is right there to tend to him. He will be okay, and will probably sleep better than you will! smile

Eyesforward's beloved took his life last week. I know you'd have no way to know of this since you have been overwhelmed with what you're dealing with.

Though we are mourning Eye's loss, I am so blasted awed that she's jumped in to help you.

DO listen to her; there's NO ONE on this board who can help you more than she can!

Eyes: You are a marvel! I'm inspired beyond words...!

_________________________


For I know the plans I have made for you. Plans to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11


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#385657 - 02/14/12 12:05 AM Re: HELP - so worried [Re: herowannabe]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3377
Loc: somewhere in Africa
((((((((((((((((((( Eyesforward)))))))))))))))))))))
(Safe hugs!)



Edited by traveler (02/14/12 12:05 AM)
Edit Reason: spelling
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#385768 - 02/14/12 06:20 PM Re: HELP - so worried [Re: traveler]
intruthisfreedom Offline


Registered: 01/09/12
Posts: 14
Thank you all - another difficult day.

I am feeling very fragile and scared. My mum is coming to stay on Friday and I will call a therapist tomorrow to talk to.

I think my heart is broken :-( T


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#385789 - 02/14/12 08:28 PM Re: HELP - so worried [Re: intruthisfreedom]
herowannabe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 386
Loc: USA
intruth-

Can you express what is breaking your heart? Are you able to express what is scaring you? Is there something more you are struggling with besides the very real worry about your beloved's health and safety?

I absolutely don't mean to push you, but maybe someone could offer some help for the other troubling thoughts you are carrying???

I'm so glad you have a good mother! She rocks!!! smile

_________________________


For I know the plans I have made for you. Plans to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11


Top
#385801 - 02/14/12 08:52 PM Re: UK suicide prevention help lines [Re: traveler]
Jim1104 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 407
Loc: Louisiana, USA
I am so glad you were able to get him to a safe place. When I checked myself in to substance abuse treatment, it was very scary, but it was the right thing to do. You are absolutely wonderful for the love you have shown him. Show that much love to yourself also.

_________________________
Jim
Male/USA

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#385862 - 02/15/12 05:07 AM Re: UK suicide prevention help lines [Re: Jim1104]
intruthisfreedom Offline


Registered: 01/09/12
Posts: 14
I dont't know if it is a safe place for him.

He called this morning telling me he is lying to all the people there, and he doesn't like any of them. He hates the group therapy because they just put labels on everybody and he doesn't have any thing left to say what he thinks.

Before he went in he was just talking about putting a gun in his mouth and now he has told me he is acting it out (without the gun)

This seems like he is one step further.

The clinic hasn't spoken to me at all about what is happening/will happen what to do. nothing. There is a session on fridays for family which I will go to but i only found out about that because I was reading a notice board.

He is super intelligent,which I feel is causing a problem.

I am so worried.


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#385907 - 02/15/12 01:06 PM Re: UK suicide prevention help lines [Re: intruthisfreedom]
Jim1104 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 407
Loc: Louisiana, USA
Why is he lying?

In my limited rehab experience, I would have to say that it makes some sense that he doesn't like any of the people there. He doesn't know them. I understand the whole label thing and it can be difficult to get past the psycho-babel that we hear sometimes.

As to acting out the suicide? I do that sometimes. I am not saying this is what he is doing, but sometimes, I do it just as a pressure valve thing. Kind of an energy release.

You may be right. He may be over analyzing things and trying to use intellect. In this case, intellect doesn't help as much as allowing your heart to listen.

Of course, I am no expert on all this, but don't let him lie to the people who are trying to help him.

Hang in there. You are both so worth the battle.

_________________________
Jim
Male/USA

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#385929 - 02/15/12 06:46 PM Re: UK suicide prevention help lines [Re: Jim1104]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3377
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Intruth -

I don't have answers for you.
But LOTS of "positive energy" and/or prayers (however YOU prefer to look at it) are being sent your way.
I just know that for me, it got worse before it got better.
I had to collect the "garbage" before i could throw it out.
That part is ugly.
But it is SOOOOOOOOO worth the temporary agony.
He can get better.
Hang in there...

Regards,
Lee

_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#385955 - 02/15/12 11:28 PM Re: UK suicide prevention help lines [Re: traveler]
herowannabe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 386
Loc: USA
For what it's worth, I remember the first few days in the psych ward as being quite a shock to my sensibilities.

I listened to all these "sick" and "pitiful" people wearing the same hospital gown as I wore and thought, "I do NOT belong here; these people are NUTS".

After a day or two more, I began hearing others say things that I'd said, talking about things that I'd done, telling about experiences that I could relate to. It was then that I allowed for the "possibility" that I could perhaps be helped if I'd open up and participate honestly. So I did. And that is when I stepped out of my self-imposed prison of despair.

Do express your concerns to his medical team though! You have insight that will help them help him!

Hang tight!!!

herowannabe

_________________________


For I know the plans I have made for you. Plans to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11


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#386208 - 02/17/12 10:27 PM Re: UK suicide prevention help lines [Re: herowannabe]
Jim1104 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 407
Loc: Louisiana, USA
Just checking on you. How are you guys doing. I think about you often. Hang in there.

_________________________
Jim
Male/USA

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#386216 - 02/17/12 11:45 PM Re: HELP - so worried [Re: intruthisfreedom]
herowannabe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 386
Loc: USA
Quote:
There is a session on fridays for family which I will go



It's Friday! How'd it go??? Thinking of you lots!!!

herowannabe

_________________________


For I know the plans I have made for you. Plans to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11


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