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#378243 - 12/05/11 08:33 AM Re: Thanks for being here..... [Re: Chase Eric]
ozzie_guy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/02/11
Posts: 17
Loc: Queensland, Australia
I have just been through one of the hardest weeks I can remember. The biggest difference this time around was that I had my fraternal brothers from this site to turn to, to vent to, and to recieve invaluable advice and support from. I made it through this week.... and I am experiencing a sense of self pride for finding the strength and the courage not to run like I have for most of my life.

Thank you my new friends.... Maybe I really do have a chance at making it through this journey I have embarked upon and reaching the destination of life....

Ian

_________________________
I wonder what a life will be like being able to cope with the horrors of my memories.

Why am I so terrified of the possibility of being happy...

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#378250 - 12/05/11 10:34 AM Re: Thanks for being here..... [Re: ozzie_guy]
1lifenow Offline


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 393
Loc: west coast
Ian

I know what you mean about hard weeks. Sometimes it goes easier and you think, finally, its going to be smooth sailing. Then shit hits you in the face and the old negative self talk wants to bite you in the ass. This time tho its different, there IS a new perspective that this place and the work you do gives you.

Keep going my friend , I like the idea of an embarkation. The destiny is the journey.

If we can show each other that the steps are forward not lateral, we can all take that walk. Thanks for sharing.

cheers

grant

_________________________
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

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#378252 - 12/05/11 10:38 AM Re: Thanks for being here..... [Re: 1lifenow]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1554
I second that. I have a few bad weeks recently--if it was not for this forum, my T and another support group I attend, I do not know what would have happened. I am glad (but sad at the same time that I and you need to here) but without everyone our lives would not be moving forward.


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#378263 - 12/05/11 11:49 AM Re: Thanks for being here..... [Re: KMCINVA]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1283
((Ian))

I was very touched by your intro. Keep up the good work, and know that this brotherhood is strong. Lean on us, my friend.

_________________________



Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#378531 - 12/07/11 01:26 AM Re: Thanks for being here..... [Re: Chase Eric]
NewSummer Offline


Registered: 09/01/11
Posts: 59
Loc: Surrey BC
Ian
Weeks go by and all seems to be fine and then I feel like I am falling down a well once again...I thank God for all my friends in life and here..I call you my pillars, cause you hold me up ..
When my marrage ended, my wife gave me a card ( Ironic when I think of it ) . It said "When are going through hell, just keep going"..
The sun always shines again..Someday I need to apply sun screen..
Ian here too

_________________________
life is what happens while you make other plans- John Lennon

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#379699 - 12/16/11 08:02 AM Re: Thanks for being here..... [Re: NewSummer]
ozzie_guy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/02/11
Posts: 17
Loc: Queensland, Australia
You know guys I have done it again.... I was just on the cusp of being somewhat happy.... Things were cruising pretty well, everything pretty much falling into place with the future looking almost a little brighter that it has been in some time. Then 'BANG'.... it was like an entire platoon of army engineers came in and blew that bridge right out from under me just as I was about to make the crossing.... I guess at least for now I am comfortable in my self imposed misery, self loathing and belief that I am a putrid piece of crap that really doesn't deserve to be using up good oxygen. I hate this pain of living so damn much but don't know how I can live without it, how damn nonsensical is that for a statement. I still sometimes can't help but wonder if I am just broken beyond repair.....

_________________________
I wonder what a life will be like being able to cope with the horrors of my memories.

Why am I so terrified of the possibility of being happy...

Top
#379704 - 12/16/11 09:23 AM Re: Thanks for being here..... [Re: ozzie_guy]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey Ozzie,
don't be so hard to yourself.
Those engineers will come later and rebuild everything back. I'm sure you could hire additionally heavy construction machinery and make even better and stronger bridge :-) but it's up to you.
You deserve to be what you are: only human, fragile and not perfect as we all are. Go out from your head/problems/issues and rest yourself for while, you deserve it. Don't worry what you've done or where you lost yourself. It has been long journey to come here where you are now and this journey will last. So forget about bad things, there wouldn't be end of world because you made some failure, there would be many more in life. Think positive, cheer yourself and remember you are priceless person with all imperfections just as you are!!!!

_________________________
My story

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#379872 - 12/17/11 06:05 PM Re: Thanks for being here..... [Re: ozzie_guy]
pbert53 Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/26/09
Posts: 576
Loc: Washington, USA
Welcome Ian,

Glad you found us. Here you will have lots of supportive and understanding friends who really care.

We are in this together and you are one of us. We are the Lost Boys finding our way to recovery.

Consider me one of your friends mate. I understand your story and feel your frustration and pain. It is an ongoing battle, a real roller coaster. but there is hope and things will get better. But it can be a hard and rough road at times.

take care bro.

peace

paul

_________________________
If you cannot control what happens to you, you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.

~ adapted from: Sri Ram

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#384850 - 02/08/12 06:39 AM Re: Thanks for being here..... [Re: pbert53]
ozzie_guy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/02/11
Posts: 17
Loc: Queensland, Australia
At long last I have made it back.... I so hate it when the depths of depression reach so low that all I want to do is die!!! And sadly that is what the past 6 weeks have been like for me, so low that I couldn't even bear to come here for comfort. It is good to be back.... Thankfully I am now able to continue working with my T so that I can arm myself with strategies to lessen these periods in my life.... I AM GLAD TO BE BACK.....

_________________________
I wonder what a life will be like being able to cope with the horrors of my memories.

Why am I so terrified of the possibility of being happy...

Top
#384896 - 02/08/12 11:13 AM Re: Thanks for being here..... [Re: ozzie_guy]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1283
So glad to have you back, ((elbows))!!! smile

Looking forward to seeing you in the threads and maybe even catching you on chats...

_________________________



Click my pic to see why I'm here

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