Today my sweetheart, the love of my life died by suicide.

Thank you for having been here, for having supported me and him through me as I tried to support him to and through recovery.

Oh nooooooooooooooooo!

Eyes, I'm so sorry. Oh dear God. So, so sorry. Sweetheart, what can I say?

I'm holding you tightly. Please lean on me/us.

Prayerfully,
herowannabe

Do you feel like typing about it? Do you need to talk? I will give you my cell number in a PM, if you like.

I'll do anything to help you.

I'm just dying for you right now.....

My heart is crying for you Eyes. I am so very sorry.

Our prayers will be for you.

Eyes I am soo sorry. My words cannot express my sorrow for you. I wish I could give you a hug right now.

Eyesforward. I am so sorry. I know I can't sa anything but tis heartfelt ((((eyesforward)))) is for you.

You have been such an example of love and strength to your husband. Now, let us do the same for you. If anyone tells you to be strong, smack them for me. You need to receive the love and mercy you so freely gave him.

With brotherl love,

Jim

Eyes,

I'm so, so sorry. I just can't find the words right now. I hope your friends and family are there to give you the love and support you need right now. If you need to talk to someone or if there's anything I can do, please feel free to send a PM.

Rob

((((eyesforward))))

Eyes, I'm so very sorry.

Peace,

John

I am so so so sorry
jeff

Thank you all again for your prayers, kind thoughts and condolences. Friends and family know the path I've walked and survivors know his pain. And Jim, thanks for making me smile; I will give the "stay strong" peeps a smack -- just for you!

Friends and family have been great, several offering to spend the night with me. I wanted to be alone just to feel what I'm feeling so I've been doing that. His mom and dad are in shock and we'll spend much of today together.

The world lost a really good man. I miss him.

I'm so very sorry. This is our worst nightmare come true for you. Everyone of us has been faced with this possibility and I don't have the words to tell you how sorry I am.
We are still here for you, please don't go anywhere. We are still here for you.

God bless and I will pray for you all. I promise.

We will be waiting for you.

Anne

I'm so sorry. (((((eyesforward))))

sending deepest sympathy, eyesforward.

bon courage.

My heart goes out to you. You were an inspiration. You gave support and unconditionally of yourself. You were an example of a wonderful, caring and compassionate person who was there for your husband. You and the family are in my thoughts and prayers.

I'm sorry for your terrible loss.....be gentle on yourself in the coming time, and please speak with T to help you through this traumatic tragedy.

Eyes,

I am so sorry for your loss. There is nothing I can say that sounds like the right thing.

I just said a prayer for you.

PM if you need to talk.

Again, so, so sorry.

oh no. (((eyesforward)))
I can't find words that my ease your pain, don't know what to say, but I feel your pain.

I know that when the flashbacks and memories were coming fast and furious my husband on more than one occaion said he just couldn't take it anymore. I have witnessed the pain that CSA carries firsthand and its terrifying. So I hope if there are any survivors reading this that are still considering suicide to please please consider your options.

There are so many people here who would be willing to talk to you and that their is light at the end of the tunnel. My husband still has memories here and there but not like he use to and well... please just don't give up.

Eyes I am sorry for your broken heart.

I am so, so, very sorry for your loss. I really feel for you, please let us know how you're getting on.
LOVE N PEACE

I am so very sorry ((eyesforward)). This is absolutely devastating news....

Suicide is a unique pain - I've been through it with my best friend, and when I look back on it almost 9 years later, I think the toughest part in coming to terms with the weird mix of feelings - anger, regret, frustration, sadness - was that I was so very alone with it. Please feel free to PM me if you want...

eric

I am so sorry, I am without words.
My thoughts are with you.

I don't know what to say. I know nothing I say can take your pain away. I'm deeply sorry for you. I've been in that place myself. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Again I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you find strength in days to come. I'll be praying for you.

wrong reply

There are no words that can take the pain away from you . I am so so sorry for your loss this truly is something that some can never get over . My friend took his life because of the abuse that we both suffered from the same person so this is very personal to me . I will lift you up in my prayers . I know you have had to be strong through this whole process and well now i guess strong takes on a whole new meaning .

Lord God i know we can not understand everything you place before us but your word says you will never put on us more than we can bare and i know right now it may feel like this may be to much so i am asking and praying that her faith not fail and that she will find comfort in your word , and for her to be wrapped in your arms of love in your arms of mercy . I lift her up to you right now and ask that you would walk with her through this whole process. Give her the strength that she will need to endure this .I ask that you would let her know that there are those who care and there are those who feel her pain and that she is not alone. Lord I ask right now that you would enable her to see through all the hurt and pain and sorrow and be able to remember the good times she has had and remember that it takes a special someone to be with another that comes with the baggage of abuse . That this was no way her fault and that she did all she could have done just by being with him and that this alone speaks volumes . So bless her in a special way and comfort her.
I ask these things in the name of our LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST
AMEN

Amen. (Thank you for offering prayer!)

I'm sorry I have no words for you. I know there really aren't any that will help.

But I grieve for you and for him. I have real tears for you and the pain you're in right now.

Oh, I'm so sorry Eyesforward.

Amen NLT.

I'm so sorry to hear about your hurt. Prayers for your comfort.

I am sorry I just saw this now. I am flat-out devastated. I wish I could have done something. I wish....OH!!! GOD!!!

I am slain!

I'm so sorry.

...

I'm so torn about this, Eyesforward. We haven't engaged much before on these boards, and I didn't know your husband. I posted something earlier in this thread - feeling shocked, insulated. I wanted to add something more...

It was a long journey for me. When my best friend killed himself, he visited me in a dream a few nights later - and I woke up while the dream was still vivid, sat down and wrote this essentially unedited piece - just raw feelings and dream fragments.

I can't offer much, but I can at least share...

I have read each and every post. Each and every one touched me. Thank you.

I'm seeing that other survivors feel this very deeply. I'm profoundly grateful for your willingness to witness my loss at the cost of re-presencing your pain.

I will respond individually later. Right now I'm gutted.

((((Eyesforward))))

There are days. There are days that stop me in my tracks; Days that leave me in breathless shock.

I rattle-on down these tracks of CSA pain, CSA healing, my street-fights with public policy. The days of endless flow and rattling along those tracks…they eventually bring me to a point where I notice the terrain less and less. And then, there are the days that stop me absolutely.

I’ll tell you this Eyes. I am just one soldier in this war against sexual abuse of children, but I’m trying to take the entire enemy camp. Nothing will motivate me more than this. I will drone-on no more. I will back-off for no resistance, I will never be satisfied until there are no more children being hurt with impunity.

eyesforward,

I am so sorry for your loss. Words can only express, my true sorrow for the loss you are experiencing.

I have prayed and will continue to pray for strength and resolve for you.

This kind of departure is truly unique. You have lots of love and support sent your way. I have felt the pain of loosing someone close.

I am deeply moved....

Peace,
Avery

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mate.

It is difficult for me to express the pain I feel in my heart for you. All I want to do is to cry.

The place he was in with his pain - is a place I have been in several times in my life.

Please know that guys on this site - do care.

Eyes,
I am without words. I am so, so sorry. I am being bold by saying that we share your pain of loss as we have also lost a brother. Please know that this community is holding you close to their hearts. I will pray for all of you.

Eyesforward

I'm sorry for your pain, and I applaud your courage, courage for supporting him, courage for being honest here, and I pray that this courage will carry you through the next years.

Peace fellow survivor, peace, but at what cost. Rest in peace brother.

"The bitterest tears shed over graves
are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone."


-Harriet Beecher Stowe

Martin

I am so sorry.

We lose so many

Please accept my sincere condolences. I didn't know him but I believe you when you say that he meant the world to you. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss.

eyesforward-I am so sorry.

I'm very sorry. I wish you well in this path you have ahead of you now. Know that we will be always here if you need us.