I am sorry I just saw this now. I am flat-out devastated. I wish I could have done something. I wish....OH!!! GOD!!!

I am slain!

I'm so sorry.

...

I'm so torn about this, Eyesforward. We haven't engaged much before on these boards, and I didn't know your husband. I posted something earlier in this thread - feeling shocked, insulated. I wanted to add something more...

It was a long journey for me. When my best friend killed himself, he visited me in a dream a few nights later - and I woke up while the dream was still vivid, sat down and wrote this essentially unedited piece - just raw feelings and dream fragments.

I can't offer much, but I can at least share...

I have read each and every post. Each and every one touched me. Thank you.

I'm seeing that other survivors feel this very deeply. I'm profoundly grateful for your willingness to witness my loss at the cost of re-presencing your pain.

I will respond individually later. Right now I'm gutted.

((((Eyesforward))))

There are days. There are days that stop me in my tracks; Days that leave me in breathless shock.

I rattle-on down these tracks of CSA pain, CSA healing, my street-fights with public policy. The days of endless flow and rattling along those tracks…they eventually bring me to a point where I notice the terrain less and less. And then, there are the days that stop me absolutely.

I’ll tell you this Eyes. I am just one soldier in this war against sexual abuse of children, but I’m trying to take the entire enemy camp. Nothing will motivate me more than this. I will drone-on no more. I will back-off for no resistance, I will never be satisfied until there are no more children being hurt with impunity.

eyesforward,

I am so sorry for your loss. Words can only express, my true sorrow for the loss you are experiencing.

I have prayed and will continue to pray for strength and resolve for you.

This kind of departure is truly unique. You have lots of love and support sent your way. I have felt the pain of loosing someone close.

I am deeply moved....

Peace,
Avery

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mate.

It is difficult for me to express the pain I feel in my heart for you. All I want to do is to cry.

The place he was in with his pain - is a place I have been in several times in my life.

Please know that guys on this site - do care.

Eyes,
I am without words. I am so, so sorry. I am being bold by saying that we share your pain of loss as we have also lost a brother. Please know that this community is holding you close to their hearts. I will pray for all of you.