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#384654 - 02/07/12 02:09 AM Feeling frustrated and can't sleep.
Zan72 Offline


Registered: 07/01/10
Posts: 24
I now this may sound stupid, but I hate feeling this way. Having people get mad at me for any little reason makes me angry. I got mad at someone today and emailed them to stop doing what they were doing. In normal human fashion this person yelled/cussed at me and told me to stop being a weirdo. I hate the fact that people can have this control over my emotions. I think it's linked to what happened to me as a kid. I feel abused, used, made to feel worthless, they make me feel like I'm annoying when I try to voice my frustrations. I can't deal with even the slightest feeling that I've let myself or others down. Mostly I just hate my life. I see no value in my existence. Abused as kid, never heard or understood. Numb and separate from the world. No one understands me and I don't know if I even understand myself. I wish I were stronger....

Sorry to rant....just felt I had to.

_________________________
*The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

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#384656 - 02/07/12 03:34 AM Re: Feeling frustrated and can't sleep. [Re: Zan72]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3376
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Zan72

NOT stupid! Understandable from your past and circumstances.
And, yeah, it's definitely linked to feeling worthless and disrespected. Give yourself a break.

BUT, that being said, probly those who are abusing your feelings now may not even realize they are having such a devastating effect on you. Some people are pretty clueless and have a much more over-the-top style of communication. They may see your reactions as extreme. This is not to excuse them - but just to say you might not get much understanding - even when you explain it.

HOWEVER --- "we" understand what you are saying - and it sound like you DO understand yourself pretty well - at least in this instance. It was perfectly clear to me - and I'm sure, many others...

And don't apologize for the rant! That's a healthy way to vent!!!

BTW - love the poem you quoted. very appropriate i'd guess.

Regards,
Lee



Edited by traveler (02/07/12 04:14 AM)
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#384674 - 02/07/12 08:47 AM Re: Feeling frustrated and can't sleep. [Re: traveler]
Dar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/15/11
Posts: 170
Loc: Missouri
Zan72:I now this may sound stupid, but I hate feeling this way. Having people get mad at me for any little reason makes me angry.


I feel your pain as this really gets to me also. I hate nit picking. I would rather be told striaght up and honest if I am bothering someone. IN a rational way that is!

To me nit picking is just a way for people to get under my skin and I dont allow that to happen anymore if someone starts it up. I end it right then and there with the person that is attempting to to do it.

I use to simply suck it up and dwell on it, which drove me crazy.
I would think of ways to get back at them and that only made matters worse in the long run.

Like Traveler said:HOWEVER --- "we" understand what you are saying - and it sound like you DO understand yourself pretty well - at least in this instance. It was perfectly clear to me - and I'm sure, many others...

In short, I had to finally stand up for myself (in reasonable ways)and talk to the person or persons that were making me mad.
All in all it worked out very well as they ended up understanding and we both had a much better working relationship.

We feel your pain and understand what you are going through. Hang in there Zan, it does get better in time as we all have to learn to re-adjust our our minds to a new and better life ahead.

_________________________
All I ever wanted was a hug.

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#384715 - 02/07/12 01:30 PM Re: Feeling frustrated and can't sleep. [Re: Dar]
Zan72 Offline


Registered: 07/01/10
Posts: 24
Thanks for letting me rant. I just hate that others can make me feel that way like they hold the remote on my life and all they have to do is push buttons.

Sometimes I just feel they can zero in on my pain and know they can get away with hurting me.

_________________________
*The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Top


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