NOT stupid! Understandable from your past and circumstances.
And, yeah, it's definitely linked to feeling worthless and disrespected. Give yourself a break.
BUT, that being said, probly those who are abusing your feelings now may not even realize they are having such a devastating effect on you. Some people are pretty clueless and have a much more over-the-top style of communication. They may see your reactions as extreme. This is not to excuse them - but just to say you might not get much understanding - even when you explain it.
HOWEVER --- "we" understand what you are saying - and it sound like you DO understand yourself pretty well - at least in this instance. It was perfectly clear to me - and I'm sure, many others...
And don't apologize for the rant! That's a healthy way to vent!!!
BTW - love the poem you quoted. very appropriate i'd guess.
Edited by traveler (02/07/12 04:14 AM)
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho