NOT stupid! Understandable from your past and circumstances.
And, yeah, it's definitely linked to feeling worthless and disrespected. Give yourself a break.
BUT, that being said, probly those who are abusing your feelings now may not even realize they are having such a devastating effect on you. Some people are pretty clueless and have a much more over-the-top style of communication. They may see your reactions as extreme. This is not to excuse them - but just to say you might not get much understanding - even when you explain it.
HOWEVER --- "we" understand what you are saying - and it sound like you DO understand yourself pretty well - at least in this instance. It was perfectly clear to me - and I'm sure, many others...
And don't apologize for the rant! That's a healthy way to vent!!!
BTW - love the poem you quoted. very appropriate i'd guess.
Edited by traveler (02/07/12 04:14 AM)
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9