NOT stupid! Understandable from your past and circumstances.
And, yeah, it's definitely linked to feeling worthless and disrespected. Give yourself a break.
BUT, that being said, probly those who are abusing your feelings now may not even realize they are having such a devastating effect on you. Some people are pretty clueless and have a much more over-the-top style of communication. They may see your reactions as extreme. This is not to excuse them - but just to say you might not get much understanding - even when you explain it.
HOWEVER --- "we" understand what you are saying - and it sound like you DO understand yourself pretty well - at least in this instance. It was perfectly clear to me - and I'm sure, many others...
And don't apologize for the rant! That's a healthy way to vent!!!
BTW - love the poem you quoted. very appropriate i'd guess.
Edited by traveler (02/07/12 04:14 AM)
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago