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#385129 - 02/10/12 03:48 AM Re: How could you mother have helped you? [Re: pat8]
whome Offline

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1736
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi Pat

Sorry for the pain, and sorry for your son too.

You have already won most of the challenge. You believed him, you love him, he trusts you.

What can you do
Love him, believe him, trust him, hug him, love him, love him, love him. Become a little overprotective and ...... Love him.

I did not get the love I felt I needed at home so I went in search of attention and, well found the wrong type.

You also now need to be really open and honest about sex, when the questions come up. Don't force it down his throat, but rather when he enquires. Problem is that he has had sexual experience beyond his years so this will confuse him.
Watch him to ensure that he does not display prematurely advanced sexual behaviour. Watch that he does not rub himself excessively or himself on others excessively. And be loving and firm when you tell him that this is not how things are done.

And one more thing, hug him and love him.

Heal well

Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

#385193 - 02/10/12 05:33 PM Re: How could you mother have helped you? [Re: Avery46]
Avery46 Offline

Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
I love the advice you have gotten. Jim has given great advice about having family events such as lessons. Physical lessons are great. Musical lessons are great as well.

I had an overprotective mother - (note: she needed to keep a lid on my emotions or I would have told, lol) - and one way to NOT be overprotected is in your language or the way you speak to you son. As a great mom, you might already be doing this. Ask him questions instead of tell him how he feels. Ask him about his day. Don't send him to his room as a punishment. Use positive words and never negative words.

I apologize if I have stepped on your toes as you might already do these wonderful things.


aka DJsport

#385208 - 02/10/12 07:51 PM Re: How could you mother have helped you? [Re: Avery46]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3749
Loc: somewhere in Africa
What whome said:


ALL of the above


"That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. . . What will your verse be?" Robin Williams as John Keating in "Dead Poets Society"

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