This might be a stupid question but can I donate blood? Since finding out about my Husbands abuse and infidelity I haven't given blood. I went today for the first time and they ask

1. Have you had sex with a man that has had sex with another man since 1977 (YES)
2. Have you had sex with a man that has paid for sex (something like that) Another yes!

I have been tested and I am fine but I am wondering if I should give blood. I was thrown off guard today when they asked me these questions. I did not say yes to the quesions above and I am feeling bad. I guess I am answering my own questions.

Any thoughts?

If anybody ever doubts our pain, all they have to do is think about how hard that would be to have to say yes to those questions because of someone else's behavior or have to go to our gynos for testing.

the humiliation of it all.....

I am not even sure if humiliation is the right word....

I stopped donating when I remember all my abuse, because I refuse to lie about it and their discrimination is ridiculous.

Basically when you go through the questions, a woman can run around with anyone any time even other women(so long as the men they've been with aren't bi or gay) and you can still donate, but as a survivor, if I answer those questions honestly, they'll throw me out.

Honestly it's just a slate stacked against gay and bi men that offends me, even though I'm not gay. It's just a stereotype that says "Gay Men" are responsible for all the STD's in the world.

Ultimately it's BS and I refuse to donate purely on principle, and I used to donate 4 times a year.

Yes, yes this is a heated/touchy subject with me.

I dont think anybody doubts your pain.

tattoo within the last year, I'm out too, can't give blood.

And "funny" I remember going to a dr for some tests and them asking me have you ever been sexually assualted and I said yes I was, and broke down....We all know pain.

I figured I have already been tested and so has my h so if we are clean why not? In this day and age everyone needs to cover their asses.

Give blood. If they don't use it, you still gave. I used to give all the time before I no longer had health insurance (2006). Giving blood is good for you. It forces your body to produce new blood cells. I used to give 3 times a year. It does make you feel better in the long run.

As far as their questions, it's to cover their asses. It is better than before when they openly gave people blood tainted with AIDS and killed people. That's where all the questions came from.

I've been thinking about this all weekend. I've considered why the Red Cross would ask such painful, embarrassing questions.

Looking at it with an eye for business, could it be that there is considerable expense in testing each donation for disease? For a non-profit that needs to maximize funds, maybe these questions are asked simply to cut down on donations that will need extra close scrutinizing?

The RC website mentions that many sexually-transmitted diseases can't be detected for a while, however, they can still be transmitted. I think that's why we need to be tested repeatedly 3-6-12 months after possible exposure.

Maybe...? Don't know for sure, but it definately hurts to carry this stigma.

I too am a regular donor. I cringe at those questions because I know to answer them truthfully means telling them my story, at least in some part anyway.

They are tasked with protecting the nation's blood supply. I understand their need to ask such questions. I also think that they have absolutely no idea how painful answering those questions can be.

I have been tested by my doctor for all sorts of cooties and I have been shown to be clean. So I am not worried about contaminating the blood supply.

I donate.

Eh, they must ask such question to minimize the risks. Imagine the outcry if the RedCross blood supply is infected with HIV or other diseases.
From a business point of view, they simply try to assess if they can minimize their testing and probably test high risk donations more thoroughly or maybe even double test them.

If you have gotten tested and you are clean, there's no reason why not to donate.
But if you do, please answer honestly and put that 'humiliating' feeling aside - if you can. You're not to blame, if you are honest you are being responsible and deserve a thumbs up!