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#384366 - 02/04/12 08:55 PM Re: Human Touch & Recovery from CSA [Re: timetested]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1166
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/16/13 11:41 PM)
_________________________
Depression Feels Like Home, and Happiness is Just a Place I Visit

It will get better....

Top
#384369 - 02/04/12 09:18 PM Re: Human Touch & Recovery from CSA [Re: phoenix321]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1166
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/16/13 11:41 PM)
_________________________
Depression Feels Like Home, and Happiness is Just a Place I Visit

It will get better....

Top
#384372 - 02/04/12 09:37 PM Re: Human Touch & Recovery from CSA [Re: phoenix321]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1166
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/16/13 11:42 PM)
_________________________
Depression Feels Like Home, and Happiness is Just a Place I Visit

It will get better....

Top
#384373 - 02/04/12 09:46 PM Re: Human Touch & Recovery from CSA [Re: phoenix321]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1166
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/16/13 11:42 PM)
_________________________
Depression Feels Like Home, and Happiness is Just a Place I Visit

It will get better....

Top
#384427 - 02/05/12 07:29 AM Re: Human Touch & Recovery from CSA [Re: lapchinj]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: lapchinj
Hey Timetested,

Sorry you had to come here but welcome to MS. You'll do good here.

I still have my birth parents and like you have never been touched, hugged or kissed by them. I was sort of their ticket into middle class American society. They needed that house, car, dog and 1 child. I was it. I think that the dog did better because they used to walk him and play with him. I also cringe but only when I don't see it coming. That doesn't mean that someone can hug me but rather like you shaking hands is the borderline. I don't know what abuse you went through whether it was bad or like me I wanted that person to touch me and hold, hug and kiss me. He was like a real father but to keep him I had to let him pimp me for the next 5 years when I was 13. Sick but that last 40+ years has been very lonely. I do have a family but all friends are really only acquaintances. I was never able to get close to anyone. even my wife of 35 years only found out 4 months ago what happened to me.

I have benefited so much from being here you will also. They guys here are "all" great.

Peace and heal well
Jeff


(((Jeff))) I'm so sorry.

My sperm donor had kids for a similar reason---to make it look good to cover up all his cheating and evil.

Having a male role model, ie father and other men, is very important for boys. I see men on MS and others I've met over the years as the exception to the rule.

No offense to any man here but my sperm donor and bullies throughout school has led me to hate men in general and generalize all of them until they prove they weren't the same. That's in-person. I see all men as uncaring, abusive, cheaters, prone to violence, hateful, couldn't give a shit, women serve them, hypocritical, self-centered, unemotional, etc. There is no trust of the male species here 99% of the time. I had one male therapist and had inside hostility from the beginning. He screwed up royally 2nd session so it kept the idealization intact. He really did screw up. I found women the opposite. Lot of women I met have the same idea of men based on their upbringing.

And, saw women superior to men emotionally. I think most people (the majority) see this as true. I'd say 90% of the women I met think this is true. I'd say the teachers (90% women), the churches we went to (80% women), doctors (the women seemed to care--the men, nope, take the pill and you'll be fine), etc.

My sperm donor I have no use for at all. My mom during teen years got better. Saw more of what went on. However, still no excuse for her when we couldn't defend ourselves as little kids. She made every excuse in the book for him. Sometimes I hate and sometimes I don't. She had an out--great parents. If she had lousy parents, I would think that way. Is that wrong to think that way? I don't know. In nature, we don't see too many mothers not protect their young.

On-line is somewhat different. I can leave that situation anytime without much consequence. You find out quick who can be trusted (our version of trust is very little) and who can't.


Jeff, as far as the pedo question, I don't see how pedos aren't guilty of murder considering how many kids they destroy. You ask that question because you're protecting your pedo to a point. Ask yourself, why does he need protecting? Be sure to consider he pimped you out. Would you feel the same way about a pimp on the street?

A lot of hugs to everyone of this thread. What happened to all of us wasn't fair and was terribly wrong. Peace.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

Top
#384433 - 02/05/12 09:21 AM Re: Human Touch & Recovery from CSA [Re: phoenix321]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1166
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/16/13 11:42 PM)
_________________________
Depression Feels Like Home, and Happiness is Just a Place I Visit

It will get better....

Top
#384454 - 02/05/12 02:17 PM Re: Human Touch & Recovery from CSA [Re: lapchinj]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
((((((((Jeff))))))))

I'm so sorry about all that happened to you. frown Take as many hugs as you can stand. I wish I knew what to say to make it better for you. I really hope you get the good things in life. Hope everyone does. Well, expect pedos. I gave up understanding why people do what they do. Lot of evil in this world. Pedos murder kids. It's sad we have people that do this stuff. I'm so sorry. Hope you have support for it. Do you?

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

Top
#384492 - 02/05/12 09:03 PM Re: Human Touch & Recovery from CSA [Re: phoenix321]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1166
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/16/13 11:42 PM)
_________________________
Depression Feels Like Home, and Happiness is Just a Place I Visit

It will get better....

Top
#384546 - 02/06/12 07:25 AM Re: Human Touch & Recovery from CSA [Re: lapchinj]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: lapchinj
Yeah, I'm going to therapy now with a very informative guy, a really nice guy. funny thing is that his office is one block north in Greenwich Village of Washington Square Park where I used to hang out an turned a few tricks. Blew my mind but I sit there now waiting for my appointment. Not the same place as I knew when I was young, no hippies. I haven't been there since I was a teen. I don't know where it will all lead but I'm going along for the ride. I thought I knew myself but my T keeps coming up with stuff that makes me feel like I don't really understand myself.

Some of my best help comes from MS and threads like this one.

Thanks for the hugs I always save a few for rainy days. Thanks

Peace
Jeff


Jeff, that's great, and great you can go where things happened and it ain't a trigger (assuming it isn't since you go). Didn't have much luck with Ts myself. Felt victimized because they lied about their qualifications. 12 of them. Learned way more in hospital groups and a support group (bipolar) than anywhere else. MS is a good place for CSA. Lots of hugs. Peace.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

Top
#384562 - 02/06/12 09:42 AM Re: Human Touch & Recovery from CSA [Re: phoenix321]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1166
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/16/13 11:42 PM)
_________________________
Depression Feels Like Home, and Happiness is Just a Place I Visit

It will get better....

Top
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