I am in the midst of a life where my connections/relationships are changing. I was in the hospital last year for 3 months. These 3 months were broken up by a stay in a treatment center and a trip that was 2,000 miles away from home.
During this time, I lost contact with friends who I have known for years. I am sure my friends were very worried and angry at me for "losing it".
After the 3rd hospitalization, I was sent to live at a care facility. For the last 4 months after the hospitalization, I have been going to the same hospital for outpatient treatment. This outpatient treatment ends this Friday as I am graduating from the program. Although I am happy to be graduating, I am anxious about the future.
During the last 4 months, I have reconnected with friends and have sunk myself experiencing life on life's terms.
In the last year I have lost my job, my car and my home. A year ago, I was in grief mode after my dad died and I had to stop contact with my mother in 2010.
A year ago, the ptsd, major depression and the mental disorder that I was experiencing were off the charts.
In all this, I have come to terms with life on life's terms. I have never been more serene in my life. I know I will have challenges in the future. I accept others love, feelings and dislike for me. I am ok with others. I am more than ok with myself. I am very fond of my Faith in God. I would not have thought this day was possible.
I have recieved wonderful gifts from others - thank you!! Gifts I would never be able to repay "monetarily". My Faith as been renewed in myself and in others. Life is wonderful!!!
Yes, my innocence was lost. Yes, my adult life has been a wreck. Yes, I have lost major things but, I have my life, the life of lots of friends, and my Faith. I believe in God.
I have tredged this life via rough waters. I know now why and I accept life on life's terms.
Edited by Avery46 (01/30/12 06:24 PM)