Newest Members
NeverAgainSB, It Just Is, HealingHope, StormyWeather, Clark Anthony
12803 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Alicia (56), bubblytam (57), crazydragon (40), JGag78 (37), kris82 (33), Shin (29)
Who's Online
5 registered (5 invisible), 17 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12803 Members
75 Forums
66040 Topics
461696 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#383669 - 01/27/12 08:52 PM komisarjevsky's death sentence
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
time and time again i ask when our society will understand two things:

1) there are no winners in the sexual abuse of a boy, and

2) don't come crying to me when a boy who was sexually abused grows up and lashes out at taxapyer's expense. consider yourself lucky i didn't turn my teenaged anger out on to the streets of LA... like so many do today.

this isn't about revenge, though. it is simply the mathematics of the brain. kick a dog and ye shall bite; slap a child he will curse you; penetrate him and he'll do more when he gains courage and learns how to use a weapon.

so today joshua komisarjevsky, who claims he was sexually abused as a boy, was sentenced to death for a home invasion that ended in the death of three others.

there are many home invasions in this country -- every day as a matter of fact. well, after all we love our violence don't we? it is safer, cheaper and easier to glorify our violent ways on reality t.v. than repair them in real life... and we love making excuses for it in the name of god, guns, and glory.

interestingly enough...in this particular case, my gut tells me to believe this guy's story.

i don't know why, it is just something i feel. and maybe i want him to be telling the truth, maybe i want to know that as horrible as his childhood abuse was -- he really did not, as an adult, in this case, sexually assault others and burn them alive.

yes, i could be wrong. but, i believe he played the victim in that house that burnt down as ordered by the mastermind steven hayes -- and joshua knew no better in his subservient role. essentially it was a fetish run amok.

but in the end - no winners.
in the end - many regrets.

in the end - i wonder if joshua could have been saved if only another guy had taken his hand in support early on.

in the end, it is my firm belief, that this same society that permitted the abuse of a young joshua to go unchecked was also in part to blame for killing that family. joshua is silenced; he'll be put to death, and all in CT who know best how to describe him -- as the evil one -- they too can rest peacefully knowing the jury awarded their guilt a reprieve.

no excuses. for anyone.

_________________________
Jeff

Top
#383671 - 01/27/12 09:00 PM Re: komisarjevsky's death sentence [Re: westchesterguy]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
The reality is that Joshua is getting the justice he deserves for so cruelly and viciously ending the lives of 3 innocent people. Whether he was sexually abused as a child is irrelevant in my opinion since there are many, many survivors of childhood sexual abuse who go on to lead productive, non-violent lives. Just as there are those who suffered no childhood abuse and they don't commit heinous crimes such as his. His playing the CSA card is a cop out and an affront to every CSA survivor who has pulled himself together through life and got on as best he could.

_________________________
Eddie

Top
#383672 - 01/27/12 09:19 PM Re: komisarjevsky's death sentence [Re: EGL]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
Originally Posted By: EGL
....an affront to every CSA survivor who has pulled himself together through life and got on as best he could.


don't include me in that conclusion, please. i do not measure people by how things ought to be. i learned 33 years ago that we ought not be raped.

there have been many of life's myths busted for me since that time. and i'm sure there will be more.

_________________________
Jeff

Top
#383673 - 01/27/12 09:23 PM Re: komisarjevsky's death sentence [Re: westchesterguy]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Originally Posted By: westchesterguy
Originally Posted By: EGL
....an affront to every CSA survivor who has pulled himself together through life and got on as best he could.


don't include me in that conclusion, please. i do not measure people by how things ought to be. i learned 33 years ago that we ought not be raped.

there have been many of life's myths busted for me since that time. and i'm sure there will be more.


I wasn't, sorry if it came across that way. I just get really chagrined when criminals do such horrible, heinous things and then try to excuse it away somehow. At some point, they need to take personal responsibility for their actions and the lives they've wrecked.

_________________________
Eddie

Top
#383677 - 01/27/12 09:50 PM Re: komisarjevsky's death sentence [Re: EGL]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
Originally Posted By: EGL
...... when criminals do such horrible, heinous things and then try to excuse it away somehow. At some point, they need to take personal responsibility for their actions and the lives they've wrecked.


i do not disagree.

putting it another way, to prevent what happened in CT and elsewhere in future -- the onus is on the victim to take responsibility, be stronger than the pedophile, and not carry on a cycle of violence. i think its a great societal goal.

_________________________
Jeff

Top
#383692 - 01/28/12 12:46 AM Re: komisarjevsky's death sentence [Re: EGL]
MrEdd Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/24/03
Posts: 326
Loc: Texas
Originally Posted By: EGL
The reality is that Joshua is getting the justice he deserves for so cruelly and viciously ending the lives of 3 innocent people. Whether he was sexually abused as a child is irrelevant in my opinion since there are many, many survivors of childhood sexual abuse who go on to lead productive, non-violent lives. Just as there are those who suffered no childhood abuse and they don't commit heinous crimes such as his. His playing the CSA card is a cop out and an affront to every CSA survivor who has pulled himself together through life and got on as best he could.


+1

_________________________
Some Things are not problems to be solved, rather, they are facts which must be coped with over time.

Top
#384020 - 02/01/12 04:20 AM Re: komisarjevsky's death sentence [Re: MrEdd]
mike13 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
I hope we can all use Joshua as an example for why it is so important for CSA survivors to get help. I know in my life I have had many times when I have wanted to lash out in rage but by some miricle I was able to stay in control.


Top
#384129 - 02/02/12 11:56 AM Re: komisarjevsky's death sentence [Re: mike13]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
That's the way I see it too Jeff.

Read "Violence: A National Epidemic" by the psychiatrist James Gilligan if you want proof. He goes into all the mental/psychological processes of victim to perpetrator. (Hint: it's a lot about shame)

We've tried the vengeance/justice response to crime and violence for thousands of years. It doesn't work. It's not working. We lock up more people in the US that any other country. And we're the most violent.

An eye for an eye leaves the world blind, and we seem to just be more and more blind to the abuse of boys. The violation of punishment reinforces the violence of society. Doesn't it strike you as rather disfunctional that sexual violence is so hated in society, but we almost encourage it in prisons? "Put him in a cell with the worst and let him get what he deserves." You hear it all the time.

No excuses.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
#384258 - 02/03/12 05:33 PM Re: komisarjevsky's death sentence [Re: LandOfShadow]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
Originally Posted By: LandOfShadow
That's the way I see it too Jeff.


thanks landofshadow.

you know, what you said is interesting. when i read what people type on message boards (including comments for this guy in the press last week) and for other criminals --the teacher in la this week too for example-- people clearly think they know "he'll get his in the rear in prison."

as if that is - i don't know, some kind of justice or some kind of weapon of mass destruction. it solves nothing. prison is "after the fact" the tremendous work, the real work is "now" and "in the present day." prevention, collectively, ensuring our boys are safe. making sure the "joshuas" of 2012 are pulled aside and helped and that their abusers are removed from society.

my great issue with this culture today remains exactly what i said at the top. fuck a boy he'll fuck you back. it is that crude and simple. it is that costly to society. it is that rudimentary. and anyone who disagrees, in my view, is simply smoking dope.

a little secret behind the prison wall. i do not think this kid, joshua, will be harmed in prison awaiting his lethal injection. that la teacher though? ha. male survivors in prison unite. they don't discuss it on message boards, but they act out revenge while "the law" turns the other cheek. i am firmly convinced at this stage in life that the so called '99%' the press talks about for class divide... can be applied to violent criminals too. 99 out 100 violent criminals in prison today are male survivors in my view. that 1%, the pedophiles, took the first steps to help them get there.

_________________________
Jeff

Top
#384303 - 02/04/12 10:14 AM Re: komisarjevsky's death sentence [Re: westchesterguy]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Originally Posted By: westchesterguy

it solves nothing. prison is "after the fact" the tremendous work, the real work is "now" and "in the present day." prevention, collectively, ensuring our boys are safe.


I think this is a very important insight. It's key to ever changing our situation with prevalent child abuse and continuing cycles of violence.

It seems obvious to me, and I say it often, but it doesn't matter one bit what we do to punish sex offenders with respect to reducing child sexual abuse. People think we're doing something to protect kids by dealing with Jerry Sandusky harshly. Doesn't matter.

It's like sweeping up after a car crash at an intersection. Sure, it's a nice thing to do, but I think we need to talk about a stop sign or something. We never seem to do that.

Originally Posted By: westchesterguy

i am firmly convinced at this stage in life that the so called '99%' the press talks about for class divide... can be applied to violent criminals too. 99 out 100 violent criminals in prison today are male survivors in my view.


James Gilligan says this at length and attempts to prove it. I think you'd love that book like I do.

I'm quite moved to hear you say this. This is such a valuable lesson that I think male survivors have to offer society. It's just a huge, huge piece of making a better world, and yet, so, so many forces act to silence us. Blame us. Stigmatize us. Marginalize us. Attack us. And the violence goes on unchecked.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
#384308 - 02/04/12 10:56 AM Re: komisarjevsky's death sentence [Re: EGL]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Originally Posted By: EGL
when criminals do such horrible, heinous things and then try to excuse it away somehow. At some point, they need to take personal responsibility for their actions and the lives they've wrecked.


Maybe it's not an excuse at all.

An excuse would be an end point, but perhaps it's a beginning. An opening. A man trying to reflect and understand. Do better. But can anyone hear it that way? How do people respond when a boy says "I'm confused about what happened to me..."? You think people really are listening? (hint: "Penn State")

We here know very well how men's silence and isolation alone is very limited. The responsibility you mention also extends to adults everywhere not just perpetrators. The possibility I'm wondering about is, what if nobody ever listened to little Joshua and believed him? Or helped him? And he didn't deal with it very well since he was only 8 years old (or whatever it was) when he was raped by someone he trusted and loved. And nobody did anything to stop it.

I'm not excusing what he did, nor denying consequences for him, but just saying we are all connected, and have a responsibility to listen to boys and men, help them and we are failing miserably at that in a lot of cases. And it's part of the issue.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
#384310 - 02/04/12 11:08 AM Re: komisarjevsky's death sentence [Re: LandOfShadow]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
Originally Posted By: LandOfShadow
....Blame us. Stigmatize us. Marginalize us. Attack us. And the violence goes on unchecked.


i just tried to find a research report from the late 1980s - no luck- and so i cannot recall the good doctor's name who first studied l.a. gangs and those boys' history of sexual abuse. nonetheless, i'll be brief and deliver what memory serves. he presented the findings to us at one of the first male conferences i attended in '89 or '90. overwhelming (i think he said 100%!) those boys in the gang had been molested - and more than half by their mothers' boyfriend(s). gang members also used male-on-male rape as part of establishing order and initiation. so, since i lived in la at the time, every drive by shooting, every new murder, every hold up etc... little me simply said to myself "another survivor acts out." that was my take away. and it was the good doctor's as well.

joshua komisarjevsky. jeffrey dahmer. dean corll. john wayne gacy. richard ramirez. need we list more? we know there will be more -- young boys are being "primed" right this fine saturday somewhere in happy valley, u.s.a.

what will it take for this society to "accept" and come to understand that violent men aren't born that way? oh sure, its convenient to think it and want to believe it...and the men's parents sure will want us to believe it too -- if one likes fairy tales.

i would like to know though if a boy who is prone to becoming our next serial killer, and who is being raped today, can actually be plucked from that offending environment and saved.

i will submit -- maybe its not possible to bring a kid back after his brain crossed some definitive hunger to drink blood.

all preventable. how we do it, that is quite a quandary.

_________________________
Jeff

Top
#487475 - 08/24/15 12:51 AM Re: komisarjevsky's death sentence [Re: westchesterguy]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 5512
Loc: O Kanada
TRIGGERS!!

this story made me so furious, i got sick to my stomach.
these two killers are the worst kind of humans.
pure scum. selfish. stupid. ignorant. evil.
Komisarjevsky is a predator, NOT a survivor!
his history is not an excuse, nor is it an explanation.
we all make our own decisions and choices.
we all take our own actions and chances.


http://documentaryheaven.com/cheshire-murders/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUnbgt3pOiQ



Komisarjevsky had been on the radar of the Department of Children and Families as both a child victim and a child predator. As a child, Komisarjevsky and his sister had been repeatedly raped and assaulted by their foster brother, now a sex offender convicted for the rapes of other child victims. DCF Records also show Komisarjevsky, while still a minor, later sexually assaulted other children, including his own sister.

The mental injuries from Komisarjevsky’s troubled childhood were very real and disabling, but not readily apparent to the naked eye.

http://www.commdiginews.com/life/connect...arjevsky-10607/

In his first interview since being convicted in 2011, Komisarjevsky told The Associated Press last year that he tries not to think about the crime and suffers no nightmares about it. He declined to talk directly about the crime, citing advice from his lawyers.

His partner in crime, Steven Hayes, however, had no problem telling his side of the story to the newspaper, with ugly details.

'I don’t deserve to live,' he said. 'I don’t want to live.'
'I realize now I’ve got to live with this pain. It’s something I’m supposed to live with.'

http://www.nhregister.com/general-news/2...e-home-invasion

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...-interview.html

Click to reveal.. ( disgusting disturbing details )
Hayes said when he walked back into the house with Hawke-Petit, 'at that point, we were just going to leave. Nobody was going to get hurt — at least not by me.'
'But that’s when Josh told me about him and the girl,' Hayes said, referring to Komisarjevsky sexually assaulting Michaela while Hayes was out of the house.
Authorities said Hayley and Michaela were tied to their beds. Komisarjevsky sexually assaulted Michaela, and Hayes strangled and sexually assaulted Hawke-Petit.
Hayes said he and Komisarjevsky were going to leave after he returned from the bank with Hawke-Petit. But then, he said, Komisarjevsky told him that he sexually assaulted Michaela.
"I started to lose it," Hayes said. "Then I looked out the window and saw an unmarked police car. And I just snapped."
He said what happened next, including his assaulting Hawke-Petit, "wasn't who I am."
"I wasn't thinking right; I don't know what I was thinking. It was so unlike me. I'd never done anything like that," he said.
Both Hayes and Komisarjevsky have blamed each other for escalating the crime.
Convicted of multiple murder counts, kidnapping, assault and third-degree burglary in 2010, A Superior Court jury sentenced Hayes to death.
Before the trial, Hayes attempted suicide by overdosing on prescription medication - and told the New Haven Register he wishes he was successful.
'I don’t deserve to live,' he said. 'I don’t want to live.'
'I realize now I’ve got to live with this pain. It’s something I’m supposed to live with.'


http://www.nhregister.com/general-news/2...e-home-invasion

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...-interview.html



In August 2015, the state of Connecticut abolished the death penalty, which means that both Hayes and Komisarjevsky would have their death sentences turned into life sentences.

During the trial, the court heard testimony about the indifference of the accused killers, who joked in text messages with each other on the night of the deadly home invasion.
HAYES:   “I’m chomping at the bit to get started.
I need a margarita soon.
KOMISARJEVSKY:   “I’m putting the kid to bed.”
Hold your horses.
HAYES:   “We still on?,”
Dude, the horses want to get loose. Lol.

Killers Sent Joking Texts Before Home Invasion
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2010/09/23/med-exam-resumes-home-invasion-testimony/


"Mr. Petit is a coward, he ran away when he felt his own life was threatened and left his wife and children to die at the hands of madmen," Komisarjevsky wrote in his journal. "Time and time again I gave him the chance to save his family."

this was after Mr.Petit had been repeatedly beaten with a baseball bat by Komisarjevsky until he stopped struggling and screaming. his head was covered in huge deep gashes from the blows and he was tied up. Komisarjevsky also claims he saved Mr.Petit's life by applying pressure and bangages to the bleeding headwounds, although he wonders why he bothered.

Komisarjevsky admits in his journal to taking photos of 11 year old Michaela after sexually assaulting her, images that he planned to use to blackmail her parents according to his own words...

"As for why? It was the accumulation of years of pent up aggression."

"What I was not prepared for was my demons getting the better of me."

"I was faced with the shocking realization that in some respects, I enjoy it."

"I am what I am. I make no excuses nor do I need anyone's forgiveness or pity. I'm a criminal with a criminal's mind."

from Joshua Komisarjevsky's journal

READ THE REST AT YOUR OWN RISK!! I AM OUTRAGED!!
Click to reveal.. ( KOMISARJEVSKY's Journal )
"If you don't want to defend your family, then take your chances with the criminal while police sit outside and follow protocol," he continued, referring to the fact that law enforcement arrived on the scene and were roping off the area outside the home while the two assailants were still inside committing the horrific murders.

The entries also include sickening passages in which Komisarjevsky admits to molesting Michaela, though he wrote he "resented" the accusation that he raped the 11-year-old.

In diary excerpts presented in court and posted online, Komisarjevsky wrote that he "spared her that degree of demoralization" but that "in a vulgar display of power, I ejaculated onto her."

Joshua Komisarjevsky's journal:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/39687663/Adefendant-s-Ss1a-Oct-19
http://www.scribd.com/doc/39687652/Bdefendant-s-ss4a
http://www.scribd.com/doc/39688472/Cdefendant-s-Tt1-Oct-19
http://www.scribd.com/doc/39689158/Edefendant-s-Ss3a-Oct-19
http://a.abcnews.go.com/images/US/ht_petit_2_101020.pdf
http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/page?id=11925877
http://www.scribd.com/doc/39689142/Ddefendant-s-Rr-Oct-19

http://www.scribd.com/doc/39687663/Adefendant-s-Ss1a-Oct-19
http://www.scribd.com/doc/39687652/Bdefendant-s-ss4a
http://www.scribd.com/doc/39688472/Cdefendant-s-Tt1-Oct-19
http://www.scribd.com/doc/39689158/Edefendant-s-Ss3a-Oct-19
http://a.abcnews.go.com/images/US/ht_petit_2_101020.pdf
http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/page?id=11925877
http://www.scribd.com/doc/39689142/Ddefendant-s-Rr-Oct-19
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  Chase Eric, ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.