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#383979 - 01/31/12 06:56 PM Re: How men are assumed to be a danger to children... [Re: traveler]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3377
Loc: somewhere in Africa
It happened again - Yesterday in a required teachers' meeting the "statistic" was quoted that abuse victims are 6,000 times more likely to become abusers that those without a history as victims. It made me CRAZY!!!

Does anyone know where to find documentation of something like this - to see if it is really true - or other statistics to prove we are not all a danger to kids? I was too upset and paranoid to speak up - didn't want to reveal how upset and defensive i was - in case somebody put 2 + 2 together and decided to lynch me.

Lee

_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#383980 - 01/31/12 07:12 PM Re: How men are assumed to be a danger to children... [Re: traveler]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
Originally Posted By: traveler
.... the "statistic" was quoted that abuse victims are 6,000 times more likely to become abusers that those without a history as victims.


more importantly, where did they get that stat from?

it is not an fbi stat.

_________________________
Jeff

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#383982 - 01/31/12 07:34 PM Re: How men are assumed to be a danger to children... [Re: traveler]
Sojourn Survivor Offline


Registered: 01/31/12
Posts: 2
traveler you make a good point - 16 years of working with childrens ministries with my wife, successfully raising 3 sons, helped successfully raise 3 nephews but when found out that I was a survivor... asked to not work with children because I could be a threat.

_________________________
Sojourn Survivor: I will rise, I will live, I survived!

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#384385 - 02/04/12 11:10 PM Re: How men are assumed to be a danger to children... [Re: traveler]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Originally Posted By: traveler
abuse victims are 6,000 times more likely to become abusers that those without a history as victims. It made me CRAZY!!!

Does anyone know where to find documentation of something like this


Are we really this backward about this? It sounds like a witch trial.

That's amazing. I've never hear anything like that before in all my reading and assault advocacy training, prevention seminars, etc. That's not defensible.

Furthermore, I'm guessing the point is excluding victims from contact with children is good prevention work. That's bullshit. Show me any study stating that. Look at the Stop It Now and other prevention oriented sites and nobody is saying that. There's no good way to know who's been a victim anyway and a policy like this makes it unlikely people would disclose. Not mention how stigmatizing it is to victims.

You might point out what these sites say ARE good prevention. Signs of abuse in children. Talking to adults about boundaries when you have reason to question them.

This deserves a really thorough answer, but here's something:

The 1 in 6 page I think is pretty good. I would say the people writing this (Jim Hopper wrote a lot of 1 in 6) is very authoritative. (see www.jimhopper.com)

He describes some research on this issue here: Factors in the Cycle of Violence

I always wonder when I hear this, why wouldn't this be true for women as well? Why would the psychological processes that transform abuse into abusive-to-others be different for men than for women? There are plenty of female teachers being sexual with students, so, if a woman was abused, doesn't that make her more likely to abuse a student as well? Except, I'm guessing they are ignoring all that? The ACE study found 38% of men who reported CSA had female perpetrators, so if nobody's reading the news, you can't say female teachers aren't a danger.

I don't think studies are what people need. Its more ... are they willing to look at themselves, their attitudes and what they think they "know". It's prejudice and ignorance and blind fear.


_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

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#384435 - 02/05/12 09:33 AM Re: How men are assumed to be a danger to children... [Re: Sojourn Survivor]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Originally Posted By: Sojourn Survivor
traveler you make a good point - 16 years of working with childrens ministries with my wife, successfully raising 3 sons, helped successfully raise 3 nephews but when found out that I was a survivor... asked to not work with children because I could be a threat.


I hope you don't accept that in the slightest. What happened next?

Your past doesn't ruin your future. That's what this site is all about.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

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#384618 - 02/06/12 07:56 PM Re: How men are assumed to be a danger to children... [Re: LandOfShadow]
Shawushka Offline


Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 128
Loc: VA
Excellent article! Thank you for posting this.


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#384629 - 02/06/12 09:40 PM Re: How men are assumed to be a danger to children... [Re: Shawushka]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11055
Loc: Denver, CO
Having been raised by Darth Mother, I learned females were just as likely to cause harm in my world as anyone.

I saw an article that listed an airline in Australia having a policy of seating a female adult next to an unaccompanied minor child instead of a male adult, and a potential male patron wrote them a letter saying they would not fly this airline until this policy was changed.



_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#384852 - 02/08/12 06:52 AM Re: How men are assumed to be a danger to children... [Re: FormerTexan]
mike13 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
Great point Andy! I remember when I worked inflight with People Express, I was called upon to deal with an unruly Unam. The lead flight attendent, a 55+ female, was very uncomfortable that I dealt with him alone. I asked her to her face if she really thought I was going to abuse the snoot nosed punk. She turned all red and let me handle it. The kid was no problem for the remaining three hours of the flight.


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#384862 - 02/08/12 07:49 AM Re: How men are assumed to be a danger to children... [Re: mike13]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Let me play Devil's Advocate:

So, what if 6000 times more likely is true?

People that know nothing about CSA are just protecting their kids because schools can't seem to stop their child rape epidemic. That includes the female bunch doing it.

If I had a kid, I damn sure wouldn't let any Roman Catholic Priest be alone with him/her, and I'd check the sex offender registry to make sure that bunch ain't near them either.

33% of male CSA survivors do offend. That's a lot of offending.

Parents are just trying to protect their children from the child rape epidemic BECAUSE IT IS EVERYWHERE AND ORGANIZATIONS HAVE FAILED TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT MOST OF THE TIME! That's the problem.

Don't get mad at parents for saying, "33% of male CSA survivors offend so I don't want anyone of them around my kids especially the men." Kids are precious cargo and parents have a duty and a right to protect them against any and all perceived threats whether it is fair or not.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#384864 - 02/08/12 08:04 AM Re: How men are assumed to be a danger to children... [Re: Avery46]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: Avery46
Originally Posted By: mike13
I am ashamed to admit that this myth is the number one reason I have never gone into teaching. Many people have commented that I seem to have a gift with kids but just one complain and I would be a dead man. Mike


Mike,

I so "connect" with what your saying here. I have been told the same thing about being good with kids. In my late teens and early twenties, I was a volunteer for the big brothers program and Teen Challenge. I was once married and a had a relationship with my own kids. When I came forward with the truth of my life, (the sexual abuse which I said very softly) I was told never to comeback. Urgh!!!


That's why I never got involved with anything relating to kids once I discovered my CSA. It ain't worth someone trying to get rich and suing over a false allegation. Used to see women accuse men of sexual harassment all the time so they could get a fast track promotion or a payoff or sue. They really were only hurting other women that are geniunely sexually harassed and the innocent guys they accused.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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