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#383070 - 01/22/12 12:11 AM What guys don't like in women (written by a woman)
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Somebody emailed this list or I swiped it somewhere.

(You could easily change the nouns to male and it would probably be correct.)

Hopefully this sheds light into male survivors somewhat. It also would be good for them to look at to see how good they got it.

I've actually known women who fit the bill and never got anywhere and women who were totally different and ended up with the best catch.

My 20 tough love reasons for why you donít have a boyfriend:

1. Youíre needy. You met him last weekend, he texted a few times, and now you just wonít leave the guy alone. You went from 0 to 60 in a few days. Youíre already planning for next weekend. This is probably the #1 behavior that gets girls labeled psycho in the early days.

2. You like players. You say you want a nice guy, but you fall for the same lines again and again. You canít resist the bad boys, the ones who have dumped on other women. You think that you will be different, that nabbing a player will validate your feminine powers. But the player always wins, because the player always walks.

3. Youíre a princess. You want a man who will proclaim to the world that he is whipped as butter. He will worship the very ground you walk on. Trouble is, the only men who will happily inhabit a one-down position in a relationship have no balls. Do you really want a guy who will eagerly go to a bunch of chick flicks with you? Wouldnít you rather accompany him to Transformers from time to time?

4. You flirt too much. Flirting is an essential skill in any womanís toolkit. It is meant to indicate to a guy that you are singling him out for special attention because you are attracted to him. If you flirt like crazy with every Y chromosome you encounter, it loses its effectiveness, and makes you seem ďnot very choosy.Ē Also, if you are spending time with a guy but canít stand the idea of hiding your light under a bushel, he is not going to appreciate your flirting with other men. It makes him look and feel less manly, and awakens unwelcome feelings of jealousy.

5. Youíre not in the game. If youíre shy, reserved, or aloof, you are not approachable. Many beautiful women are ignored by guys because the odds of rejection are too high. You also telegraph likely rejection if you hold back. If you find a guy attractive, meet him halfway by signaling your interest with eye contact and a smile. If you know him, pay him some attention.

6. Youíre too picky. You want a guy who is well-educated, financially successful, handsome, funny, witty, generous, blah blah blah. You want a 10. Get realistic. How about well-educated, funny and generous? Or handsome and witty, but a poet, i.e. broke? Perhaps financially successful, generous and fun to be with, but never went to college? Keep an open mind when youíre sizing up men. Allow yourself to find the good.

7. Youíre a Girl Gone Wild. Stop dancing on tabletops when youíre drunk. In fact, stop getting drunk. Drunk is ugly. No one, male or female, ever became more attractive when they got drunk (beer goggles just fool you into thinking they did). When you are drunk, you say and do foolish things. Step away from the beer pong table. If you wouldnít do it soberÖthen you really donít want to do it at all.

8. Youíre ditzy. I once knew a very smart woman who exclaimed at a frat party that she thought Mt. Rushmore was a natural phenomenon. I donít know why some women love to get all girly and giggly. I suppose it makes them feel sexier, a la Marilyn Monroe. If youíre with a guy who wants his women stupid, you need a new guy. Lose the simpering act.

9. Youíre a Mean Girl. Seriously, stop being a bitch. Iíve heard guys speak in awe (and fear) of mean girls, but Chuck Bass is the only guy Iíve ever seen who really wanted to love one, and heís fictitious. Sometimes, guys want to get with mean girls because theyíre powerful, but that relationship isnít about love.

10. Youíre high maintenance. You always feel slighted. Heís always saying and doing the wrong thing. Your feelings are constantly hurt, and he is constantly apologizing. Fighting all the time can be rewarding in the short-term, because it amps up the sexual tension for makeup sex, but ultimately itís a total boner-killer.

11. Youíre aggressive. You act like one of the guys. You pursue, make moves, call the shots. You say that youíre a liberated woman, so you can grab whatever cock grabs your fancy. That will get you laid, but try to remember that itís the male of the species that got the big dose of testosterone. That male is biologically programmed to seek his complementary opposite Ė which includes a much larger dose of estrogen. You can be strong, independent, and very, very female.

12. Youíre self-absorbed. You talk about yourself all the time. You talk about your ex all the time. You cry on his shoulder all the time when you donít get what you want. Youíre not really giving. Youíre not emotionally engaged in a caring and generous way. If youíre not curious about him; if you are not hungry for details about who he is and what heís into, then maybe heís the wrong guy. Or maybe youíre the wrong girl.

13. Youíre a homebody. Youíre not out there meeting new people every day. You are not going through each day looking to interact with and smile at attractive and approachable people. And by the way, get off the cell phone. The adorable guy behind you in line at Starbucks canít say hi if youíre on your phone, plus heís hearing you sound like a complete idiot with your BFF.

14. Youíre too hard to get. Yes, everyone likes a challenge. No one likes eager or desperate. But employing ďThe RulesĒ or some other silly tactic is just going to leave you solo. If he asks you out spontaneously for tonight, thatís a real invitation. If you are interested, accept. A guyís suggesting a plan on the spur of the moment is not him treating you badly. Itís him expressing an interest in spending time with you. (Obviously, do the opposite of what I say here if itís a booty call situation.)

15. Your number is too high. OK, fine, you donít want any guy who cares about how many people youíve slept with. Problem isÖ.thatís most guys. You donít have to tell anyone your personal data. Just be aware that when youíre making the rounds within a certain community or group of friends, word gets out fast. I donít think there has ever, ever been a guy who got laid and didnít tell anyone about it afterwards. If your number is high and that fact is well known, you have every right to find a new pack of males and revirginate reinvent yourself.

16. Youíre flaky. A plan is a commitment. Donít blow someone off when something better comes along. Donít ditch him because your friend ďreally needs you.Ē Donít double book yourself. Donít be late. Donít get drunk and not show. Women constantly complain that men arenít reliable, but Iíve seen plenty of women flake out on guys.

17. Youíre materialistic. You know what? The best dates are cheap dates. In fact, I think the best dates I ever had were actually free dates. Cooking together. Hanging out. Taking a long walk. I met my husband in graduate school, and he was dead broke. He was paying his own way and had very little money. Weíd only been together a month or so when my birthday rolled around. He gave me very inexpensive fun earrings, but what I remember is the card he made. All it said on it was: Head Over Heels. That was the best birthday gift ever.

18. Youíre scared. Youíve been burned before. You are understandably wary. This leads you to be withholding. He puts it out there, lays it on the line, and you just canít reciprocate. You really like him, but you just donít want to get hurt again. This means he knows up front that he will be the one to get hurt. No guy will stick around to watch that happen. Youíve got to find a way forward. There is no love for any of us without considerable risk, so do what you need to do to work through it.

19. Youíre rigid. You have plans for Saturday night, but his buddies are going to a game that night, would Friday be OK? You say, ďNo, you made plans with me first. And Saturday is date night.Ē He picks you up and mentions that one of his friends and his gf will be joining the two of you for dinner, if thatís OK. Itís not. Youíre miffed that you two wonít be having a night alone. He wants to go to the party, you donít. You grudgingly agree to go and stay for an hour. After an hour, you want to leave, heís having a great time. You let him know that an hourís up and itís time to leave RIGHT NOW. Being rigid is largely about asserting control. Thatís never a winning relationship tactic.

20. Youíre a pushover. You put up with all kinds of crap. You allow yourself to be booty called and stood up. You allow him to tease you in a not-affectionate way (comments about your weight come to mind). You allow him to pick fights, and then forgive him for flirting or hooking up with another girl in the two hours you were broken up. If you do not respect yourself, he certainly isnít going to respect you, and your value in his eyes will tank.



Edited by phoenix321 (01/22/12 12:15 AM)
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#383072 - 01/22/12 12:19 AM Re: What guys don't like in women (written by a woman) [Re: phoenix321]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
#2 - Of the women I've known that got the worst husbands, it is totally true.

#20 - #2 and this one go together. Women seemingly do anything for the beautiful, seemingly perfect guy who treats them like shit.

If you look at #18, doesn't that describe male survivors to a tee?

You can read this many ways and see deep truths in it by just changing the nouns to male or female. Gonna do that an post it in the Male forum.

Peace.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

Top
#383073 - 01/22/12 12:30 AM Re: What guys don't like in women (written by a woman) [Re: phoenix321]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
#5 - It really amazed me the number of gorgeous women nobody ever asked out. A lot knew they were perfect (total turn off). No offense but those were the one night stands that I had when my bipolar went out of control and it was just casual sex. I'm probably a little above average but I got the "model sex" so to speak. Of, guys that do ask these girls out or marry them, they think they are trophy wives and they catch on way after it was too late. Or, they like being a trophy wife.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

Top
#383102 - 01/22/12 12:44 PM Re: What guys don't like in women (written by a woman) [Re: phoenix321]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
Originally Posted By: phoenix321
...

11. Youíre aggressive. You act like one of the guys. You pursue, make moves, call the shots. You say that youíre a liberated woman, so you can grab whatever cock grabs your fancy. That will get you laid, but try to remember that itís the male of the species that got the big dose of testosterone. That male is biologically programmed to seek his complementary opposite Ė which includes a much larger dose of estrogen. You can be strong, independent, and very, very female.



this point is interesting from pov of a guy seeking another guy. i wonder how much "being aggressive" plays out in same-sex dating. how two by-nature-aggressive males compliment or compromise so that neither are trying to subdue what is just inside us? (if that is worded right - not entirely sure.)

_________________________
Jeff

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#383115 - 01/22/12 04:02 PM Re: What guys don't like in women (written by a woman) [Re: westchesterguy]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: westchesterguy
Originally Posted By: phoenix321
...

11. Youíre aggressive. You act like one of the guys. You pursue, make moves, call the shots. You say that youíre a liberated woman, so you can grab whatever cock grabs your fancy. That will get you laid, but try to remember that itís the male of the species that got the big dose of testosterone. That male is biologically programmed to seek his complementary opposite Ė which includes a much larger dose of estrogen. You can be strong, independent, and very, very female.



this point is interesting from pov of a guy seeking another guy. i wonder how much "being aggressive" plays out in same-sex dating. how two by-nature-aggressive males compliment or compromise so that neither are trying to subdue what is just inside us? (if that is worded right - not entirely sure.)


Yeah, don't see how it isn't applicable to gay men (or lesbian women). Even in the gay culture one partner is feminine and masculine so to speak.

No idea who wrote this but she obviously has it down.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

Top


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