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#382829 - 01/19/12 01:17 PM NEED an answer PLEASE
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
This may seem like such a fundamental issue that I should have already resolved, but I have not.

I NEED to know why relatively few of us fall apart, have PTSD, deep debilitating ailments out of the millions of boys who have been sexually abused.

If you have an answer, thought or opinion, PLEASE leave it here.

Any of the professionals' input would be greatly appreciated. I have asked several Ts and always get a smokey walk into another subject.

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#382830 - 01/19/12 01:20 PM Re: NEED an answer PLEASE [Re: Still]
Magellan Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1402
Loc: California
Simple and possibly "trite" answer:

Complex PTSD (as opposed to simple PTSD).

(I have complex PTSD).

D

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#382831 - 01/19/12 01:26 PM Re: NEED an answer PLEASE [Re: Magellan]
Still Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Not trite...M. I worry though. I've turned down several radio and paper interviews since the 700 out of fear of this question. So, even in your answer, can we say "it snot always traumatic???" Cuz I fear that answer greatly. Is some of CSA non-traumatic??? I wanna leave the table for just asking that question!

As you may know, NAMBLA uses this little phenomenon as ammo. THAT makes me wanna puke. And I (a CSA survivor) just asked it for them!

The masses (the nermals) may actually come to this conclusion on their own. Where does that leave us??? I look at the upper-left and only see 9500 members. Simple math says there's millions.

EDIT: And if its "non-traumatic," is some CSA non-long-term damaging?
And can we please delete the entire thread when we have answers?



Edited by Robbie Brown (01/19/12 01:31 PM)
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#382835 - 01/19/12 01:34 PM Re: NEED an answer PLEASE [Re: Still]
JustScott Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2575
CSA I think is ALWAYS traumatic. Each persons response to said trauma is different.

Why some who have experienced minor abuse have HUGE issues and others who experienced horrific abuse have little issues.... I haven't a foggy clue except that we all react differently and our brains cope/manage differently.


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#382836 - 01/19/12 01:53 PM Re: NEED an answer PLEASE [Re: JustScott]
KMCINVA Offline
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Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1629
Definitely different response for each individual. Also I believe the environment and any subsequent trauma or abuse can effect how one deals with the reawakening of the memories and pain.


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#382837 - 01/19/12 01:56 PM Re: NEED an answer PLEASE [Re: JustScott]
ACRoberts Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/10
Posts: 242
Loc: New Jersey (recently moved fro...
I totally agree with JustScott. I held it together for almost 20 years until I started to unravel.

On the outside, I have always looked like I had it all. It is what is on the inside that is important.

I have always felt like the little kid who was worth nothing more than to be his uncle's whore. I continue to work on the issues as I "peel each layer of the onion" as I like to put it. Still, on the outside I put on a good front. Unfortunately, I do this at times here at MS and at my survivor group led by Richard Gartner. It is hard to admit how frightened and traumatized I have been for most of my life.

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#382861 - 01/19/12 04:40 PM Re: NEED an answer PLEASE [Re: ACRoberts]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Right.....all of the above....right.

But where are the millions like us? Why are we like this and not the balance of the abused? I'm not getting it...sorry. Not trying to be a pain.

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#382862 - 01/19/12 04:47 PM Re: NEED an answer PLEASE [Re: Still]
Anthony39 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/15/07
Posts: 345
Loc: Montreal, Canada
we never held it together and then unraveled. We played pretend, played house, husband, father, sons, brothers.............. and then we just couldn't anymore. Something's gotta give. So then reality hit hard in the face. We always knew there was something wrong.
I don't think a lot of us made it. There are a lot who didn't survive childhood, many got lost to drugs and alcohol, many more in jails, homeless, gone to war, who knows.

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#382863 - 01/19/12 04:48 PM Re: NEED an answer PLEASE [Re: Anthony39]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1314
Loc: kansas
*nods*...

tone hit it on the head....

the ones that you see here are the ones that have the better chances of making it...

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#382864 - 01/19/12 04:57 PM Re: NEED an answer PLEASE [Re: Obi]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1629
Anthony39's response is right on from my perspective. I am learning that I buried the memories and this allowed me to pretend nothing happened--but always knew when the memories would make their way in through intrusive thoughts and nightmares. Then back they went until it was too much upheaval and torment it in my life and it unraveled. I could no longer push the memories down, they were drowning me. I was one of the lucky ones--I survived but did not fully live, sadly many were lost and did not make it. So now I face the memories and try to heal. As you can see everyone handles the trauma differently and having coping mechanisms to disguise the trauma.


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