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#394002 - 04/19/12 02:09 AM * [Re: kinghenri]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/28/13 05:20 PM)

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#394004 - 04/19/12 02:13 AM Re: pornography [Re: kinghenri]
mike13 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
Thanks for the new light Gary

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#394005 - 04/19/12 02:21 AM Re: pornography [Re: kinghenri]
chambers Offline


Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 118
Loc: VA
Originally Posted By: kinghenri
I need it. It's gross though. I'm scared to actually have sex. Ive done it a few times this year but it's scary. I don't know what the hell "healthy sexuality" is. Women are fucking pretty and scary. Gross gross gross gross.
I want to live free and clean. I want love and happiness. I fight toth and nail for it everyday and I'm gettin there. This porn shit kinda fucks with my head that's all.

I feel the same, tried to swear off porn soo many times. It's an addiction that I cannot quit. I'm terrified of sex for a lot of reasons, one major one would be inexperience. Also terrified of attractive women, great combo huh?

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#394006 - 04/19/12 02:27 AM * [Re: 1lifenow]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/28/13 05:20 PM)

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#394015 - 04/19/12 05:26 AM Re: pornography [Re: kinghenri]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi King

I have a problem with the porn thing too. I have also tried to justify the use of porn, but truth be told, it is just another reason for me not to feel to remain emotionless.

It IS going to keep you out of finding a health relationship, and when you do find a healthy relationship, it WILL ruin it.

As survivors,IMHO, we have a choice, do I want to get well and function normally and rationally, or do I want to live in this pity party that life has dealt me.

I chose to live healthy and normally, I chose not to live with this survivor mentality for the rest of my life, I chose to no longer be a victim to my past.

In this healthy new me, Porn has no place. Its tough, true, but there is no justifying the use of porn, it will ruin an already strained relationship, and My life.

Hope this helps Brother.
Heal well
Martin
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#394036 - 04/19/12 09:56 AM Re: pornography [Re: kinghenri]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Getting horny and wanting sex is part of life. Don't take porn seriously and it'll work out. If you're religious and feel guilty, 60% of you fellow church members are 'addicted' (define that) themselves. It's not the end of the world. If you think so, did the world end? If porn is ruling your life, what are you missing in reality? I dunno. Sex maybe? Adventure? It's boring as hell? new stuff? Fantasy? No partner? Your partner doesn't satisfy you sexually? Lots of sexless marriages out there. If it's a once a month or a few times (or none) a year thing and your partner is looking at porn, can it really be your partially your fault? Can't bitch to much if you dissolved that part of your marriage, right? Reality will probably never live up to porn. It just won't. But, a great sex life in a marriage will make porn irrelevant. You can't have a great sex life if you don't experiment and spice it up. If you are religious, umm, I'm pretty sure you are supposed to enjoy it and it's supposed to be fun. CSA can cause hypersexuality too. That doesn't excuse your partner sleeping with everything in your zip code. Perhaps, however, using porn as an outlet (acting out?) rather than him/her screwing everything in your zip code ain't a bad idea. Better yet, watch together and try something new. Some of it is: curiosity. People just want to see something.
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A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#394116 - 04/19/12 08:39 PM Re: pornography [Re: kinghenri]
G5 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 203
Loc: New Jersey
Ive found when I go to it that much of what I seek out is a recreation of what happened during the abuse. I just end up regressing and punishing myself. Porn can be useful, sure, we all have urges. But in the end it is a trap. It's not real in any way except for the actors.

Afterwards I've always felt that what I just did was not helping me in any way. I needed to find a replacement for the space porn had taken. It's ends up being an addiction in reality. It's safe because we have total control of what we see and choose to look at. She or he always is there to please us, in any manner we can dream of. They never say no, or stop, or don't tell anyone.

I still have trouble with it, but I recognize that it's a dead end. So hopefully, I'll be able to replace the porn with something real...like a caring relationship...because they are obtainable.

I agree whole heartedly with EvanCan...

Chris
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