I applied for membership and hope to one day get a lot better control of my life

JDL

Im real sorry you need to be here and for all your pain and hope you find a lot of peace and healing here with us.

By sheer coincidence my son your age (actually 20 as of this week) is a Danny....he's never a Dan or a Daniel to us.

I can't comprehend anyone hurting their child, or hurting any child for the matter.

I'd take the proverbial bullet for my Danny and his sisters.

Please go slow here and do keep your privacy until you find the voices here who will really help you in recovery. Trust amongst survivors is an incredible thing that should be very well earned.

All of us here want nothing but the best for you, and yea, you can overcome the effects of csa and take from life what you deserve....It sounds like you are ready to do excatly that.

All the best,

Keith

I am glad you found at least one hero in your life. Glad you found MS. Welcome.

I'm so sorry for your pain. I am glad that you found a forum whose members can help you. Everyone here wants to celebrate your successes and offer help when you need it.

Bruce

I am so sorry for your pain. At least you are facing the abuse and releasing the pain. No it was not your fault, anyone that sexual abuses or abuses for that matter is the one at fault. It is their shame and not yours. You were a child. I grapple with in my therapy--stop thinking about the what if I had done this... You cannot change the past.

I cried for days when I finally admitted the abuse to myself and stopped pushing it down. The memories and that part of me took over my life, it was in pain and only knew abuse. I waited over 40 years to accept the abuse. In therapy I have learned at a young age you can partition apart of yourself, many CSA victims do this to protect themselves to survive because a child's mind cannot process such trauma. I still cry when I think about it or read of another child being abused.

I tried to reclaim the control over the sexual abuse done by the priest. I lost time and let the part of me that I buried the abuse take over. My T says many victims act believing by recreating the abuse situation it will allow them to control the abuse-but it is emotionless and does not change the past--but that part of the mind believes ultimately it will or wants to change the past--but it never does. Your T is in sync with mine. Try to stop letting men abuse you or recreating the abuse because it will not help you heal--it just further worsens your feelings of worthlessness. Listen to your T.

Welcome and I am glad to see you getting help--you have support here, when feeling down, lost just write your thoughts down--it helps to get it out. There is the Chat room and there is some very insightful people there, great listeners and advisers.

Take care, stay strong and together we can heal

Welcome to the forums and sorry for the reason you are here. It's been a big help for me just reading and seeing what others have been through. I can relate to the crying constantly. I've been doing the same thing since I recognized and accepted what happened. Trust it will get better and believe in yourself. It won't be easy and it will take time.

Hey Danny
Welcome to posting and sharing- your actions tell me you have courage and strength to reach out for help and walk towards recovery.

The tears have always been there-you have chose to behonest and open up and let them out. It may at times feel like those feelings and memories are unbearable- they were for me, the lost boy who was abused and only wanted love.

As a young man leaving his teenage years behind, you can choose to access those feelings as part of your healing-it is not healthy to hold that stuff inside. Sounds like you have been making some real healthy choices and that makes me hopeful and proud for you.

It is ok to cry and to talk about it with supportive safe people. That's totally opposite the defenses I had to build growing up, but I'm not where I was back then (even if parts of me can still feel trapped in the abuse years later.).

Congratulations on your progress-give yourself a huge hug or pat on the back for walking through this. And know ms is here for you.

Hi Danny,
So glad that man helped you, and turned in the bullies at the group home. So glad you have a therapist, and are getting better.

It was never your fault. It never could have been your fault. Simply not possible.

Heal well, you're doing great even if you have down days.
D.

Thanks for the welcome and kind words.

"Please go slow here and do keep your privacy until you find the voices here who will really help you in recovery. Trust amongst survivors is an incredible thing that should be very well earned."

Very well understood. Thank you

J.

Jim thanks for the welcome.

"I am glad you found at least one hero in your life."

I read some post about people having a hero on here about a month ago (I think) and I never really considered the guy a hero but I guess he kinda was. I never really thought about it that way before.

J