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#382572 - 01/17/12 03:26 AM Homophobic because of... Scientific American
1lifenow Offline


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 406
Loc: west coast
Angry and Straight
Another explanation for male Homophobia.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=single-angry-straight-male

Was at a party recently and one of the guys went on about he really found his new massage therapist helping his back. He had a female before his wife referred him to this guy. This RMT was stronger, dug deeper and he was really happy with the results. Another hockey dad then started giving him a rough time for letting a guy "massage him". This dude went on to say he wouldnt even see a male doctor and a man as an RMT was out of the question. The dude was wearing a designer paisly shirt.

I remember when I was in grade 9 giving a "sissy' guy a hassle for making a macrame plant holder. I was being abused and sexually exploited at that time. I watched the movie on the late show one night called "the boys in the band". http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065488/ I think I wanted to throw up. THAT was the furthest thing from me.



Edited by 1lifenow (01/17/12 03:58 AM)
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#382580 - 01/17/12 06:27 AM Re: Homophobic because of... Scientific American [Re: 1lifenow]
EdfromNYC Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/18/10
Posts: 233
Loc: New York City
I read the article. Its written by a gay man. He discounts a theory that doesn't serve his argument. Its specious reasoning at best.

The theory that all "homophobes" are latently gay is a way for people to discount what some men feel and never act upon. Again, to have feelings that are not gay-positive does not mean someone is wrong, needs to be fixed, needs therapy, needs to toe the gay rights line in order to be a right-thinking person. Feelings don't translate into actions; if they did, there would be many, many, many more murders and acts of violence every day.

To have rage against abusers doesn't translate into killing the abuser just like having mixed feelings towards homosexuality doesn't translate into anything beyond mixed feelings.

Like the one scientist said, arachnophobia doesn't mean that one is secretly attracted to spiders.

I'm not justifying homophobia or trying to make it acceptable nor am I equating it with outward acts of hostility toward others. I think its one more way to accuse and bring down men when what we need are strong, heterosexual, loving men who take care of their boys, support them and provide them with the necessities to live a complete, satisfying life, men who protect and embrace their sons. In doing so, my feeling is that homophobia will decrease because homosexuality will decrease, IMHO.

Its just my feeling on the matter.



Edited by EdfromNYC (01/17/12 06:50 AM)
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#382593 - 01/17/12 09:34 AM Re: Homophobic because of... Scientific American [Re: EdfromNYC]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1650
I posted this to the wrong thread. I have moved it.



Edited by KMCINVA (01/17/12 09:44 AM)

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#382641 - 01/17/12 07:10 PM Re: Homophobic because of... Scientific American [Re: EdfromNYC]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Trigger warning: Hate and ignorance in action.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhrFJCGK_sU



Edited by prisonerID (01/17/12 07:11 PM)
Edit Reason: trigger warning
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#382669 - 01/18/12 12:50 AM Re: Homophobic because of... Scientific American [Re: EdfromNYC]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1346
Originally Posted By: EdfromNYC
I think its one more way to accuse and bring down men when what we need are strong, heterosexual, loving men who take care of their boys, support them and provide them with the necessities to live...

So I guess we DON'T need strong, gay, loving men? What does being heterosexual have to do with anything? The gay couple across the street from me are raising a well-adjusted, happy adopted son in a loving household. He was abused in his heterosexual household.

Originally Posted By: EdfromNYC
In doing so, my feeling is that homophobia will decrease because homosexuality will decrease, IMHO.

A solution for homophobia is decreasing the population of gays? Ed? Am I reading that right? Please correct me if I'm wrong - and with all due respect - but that may be one of the most disturbing statements I have read on these boards.

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#382683 - 01/18/12 05:20 AM Re: Homophobic because of... Scientific American [Re: Chase Eric]
EdfromNYC Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/18/10
Posts: 233
Loc: New York City
I edited and re-edited this a few times. I just got back from exercising which always is a good thinking time for me so I am posting anew.

I can see why you read my post that way but its not what I meant. I believe a gay man can be as loving and caring as a hetero man. I believe that what boys need are attention, affirmation and affection (the three A's, as someone here led me to know and understand) from a man in order to feel safe, loved and to grow into a stable man who is able to love and care for others.

I believe two things will happen if the three A's are met: (1) there will be less homosexuality because I believe one of the roots of homosexuality are lack of father connection (and I was gay for many years - this is my truth and I ask for it to be respected) and (2) there will be less homophobia not because there will be less homosexuals but because boys will grow up feeling loved and safe and will be less afraid of others thus reducing homophobia.

I can understand by how it was written that it might have seemed like "reduce one, automatically reduce the other by sheer numbers" but that's not what I meant.



Edited by EdfromNYC (01/18/12 06:46 AM)
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And more, much more, the heart may feel,
Than the pen may write or the lip reveal.
Winthrop Mackworth Praed

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#382689 - 01/18/12 08:55 AM Re: Homophobic because of... Scientific American [Re: EdfromNYC]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
I respect the truths that anyone chooses embrace but you really need to be cautious in how you present your truth. Broad comments can be so easily misunderstood when you are speaking in such general ways.

Plus if you wish respect you should be willing to extend it. For some years I have seen so many "theories" on gays here presented right and left. I am gay and I do not present theories on straight folks or those who are conflicted with SSA.

I have also noticed that for a time MS did a very good job of not allowing topics such as this to be all over the place. I have noticed that not only are they in the Sexual ID forum but also in the general forum. And I have seen it a lot in the Gay..etc forum as well.

I liked the old policy far better.

Just my thoughts on this.


Daryl

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#382693 - 01/18/12 09:09 AM Re: Homophobic because of... Scientific American [Re: EdfromNYC]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 611
Loc: VA
At the office I've met many openly gay men (just friends! ;^}. Like all my co-workers, they're mostly nice guys plus a few jerks. A few have died from AIDS-related illness and one sent back his Eagle Scout badge when the Boy Scouts announced a (formal) ban on gays.

To me, none of the above has anything to do with What Happened when I was a kid at the Little Summer Camp of Horrors. My memories are few and very patchy, but I think the man who molested me was married--though I didn't know anything about his life outside the camp, except that he drank a lot.

Equating homosexuals with pedophiles is simply the product of the same ignorance and fear that keeps kids silent and in the power of the adults that molest them. There are many kinds of sex that I wouldn't try, but the only one that I find morally objectionable is involuntary sex. Peace!

John


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#382700 - 01/18/12 10:09 AM Re: Homophobic because of... Scientific American [Re: EdfromNYC]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1197
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/16/13 11:48 PM)
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#382701 - 01/18/12 10:12 AM Re: Homophobic because of... Scientific American [Re: unhappycamper]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1197
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/16/13 11:49 PM)
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