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#381754 - 01/07/12 01:26 PM Re: Am I a perp too? [Re: kinghenri]
Mark1981 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/22/11
Posts: 17
Originally Posted By: kinghenri
You're not a perp man. I understand the fear of being close to children though.
Every guy here does.


Wow. I don't see it talked about... but... yeah I guess that's true. Wow.


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#381755 - 01/07/12 01:36 PM Re: Am I a perp too? [Re: kinghenri]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6367
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: kinghenri
You're not a perp man. I understand the fear of being close to children though.
Every guy here does.


Any of ya'll hate it when a kid talks to you? I do...even the ones I've known for many years. The only exception is my own kids.

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#381772 - 01/07/12 09:38 PM Re: Am I a perp too? [Re: Still]
RollerCoaster Offline


Registered: 10/23/11
Posts: 47
Loc: PA, USA
** Trigger Warning**

SS,

I can relate very closely to your situation. I have a similar guilt till date and maybe it has started to fade away when I discussed this with my T. But I dont know. Here is my story:

I was 10 at that time(before my CSA ) and one night I was sleeping beside my sister(she was 12 at that time). I randomly woke up during the night and out of curiosity slipped my hands in her pants and felt her vagina. I did that 2-3 times. I remember that I was just curious. After that I did something very horrible, which I have no explanation for - i took some spit out of my mouth and put into hers. This sounds very weird and am very ashamed to why I did it. I have no reason why I did it. After that I just kept laying and couldn't sleep. After an hour, my sister woke up and she asked me to lay on top of her. I did that. I asked her back to lay on top of me. All clothed. We did that a couple of times. That was it. Next day we briefly talked about it and never discussed it again.

This incident changed my whole life. I felt an enormous shame and guilt inside me from the next day on. I have been super nice to my sister and all other girls I have ever met. I discussed this with my T, and she said it was due to curiosity. I understand this in my head, but my heart still doesn't understand. Another thing that I am worried is whether I affected her life as someone else affected mine. This almost breaks my heart. I don't know what to do, only thing I do is being nice to her and to other people, so I don't break any more hearts.


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#381777 - 01/07/12 11:03 PM Re: Am I a perp too? [Re: Staying Sane]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: Staying Sane
Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown


I'm more than a little freaked by many/most of the replies here. I'm truly hoping that those who basically said "get some," did not notice she was only 5yo?????


Umm....yeah. I kinda felt the same way. I was hoping they just read the post wrong or something. Anything sexual at 5 years old is NEVER ok IMO.

And thanks again Rob. I'm a new guy here and I really admire your taking a leader type role to others on the site. Thanks for all you do.


I didn't say, "get some." Just to make that clear. Boys and men are visual creatures. Looking is unconscious a lot of times. It's the lingering part that's wrong. Hope that clears that up. I don't go looking on purpose even at adults. Sheesh! People take too much shit the wrong f--ing way.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#381778 - 01/08/12 12:56 AM Re: Am I a perp too? [Re: Staying Sane]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
Perpetrators avoid responsibility for their actions and do nothing but make excuses so the very fact that you feel the need to analyze your sexual behaviour, even from a time when you were still a child yourself and did nothing harmful to that little girl, proves you are the farthest thing from being a perpetrator.

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Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#381789 - 01/08/12 10:30 AM Re: Am I a perp too? [Re: Still]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1167
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/17/13 11:46 PM)
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