Newest Members
Jeff B., Aquarian, synthguy, equus, credmi1974
12835 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Amatthew78 (37), Berenice (50), ClarenceDOhio (61), Geist (28), harmarea (44), needhelp_ks59 (57), PAVEMaleOutreach (41), The Abyss (48)
Who's Online
3 registered (3 invisible), 15 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12835 Members
75 Forums
66319 Topics
463419 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Topic Options
#379953 - 12/18/11 02:56 PM Authentic Intimacy
1lifenow Offline

Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 435
Loc: west coast
How do you separate false romance from true love if you have neither truly experienced either. That was the main point in a play i just saw called "After Jerusalem" even tho it was about a hetero romance, the point is that it is really even more true for us. Its hard to negotiate that world of finding a real connection based on the crazy past, where the real you was always hidden especially from yourself.

Trading illusions for real intimacy is something I would love to know how other survivors have been able to negotiate. For me, its hard to let my guard down. I no longer feel that the CSA is something I have to hide but at the same time, I sometimes wonder if it will be possible to recognize something real.

I saw the play recently, La Cage aux Folles, and realized I had seen the orginial movie in french years ago. At the time, it went completely over my head. I just thot it was about odd entertainers,lol - I knew they were gay but it just seemed so foreign, i did not see myself as that at all. So now that i am what i am, i feel that my history of a lack of self awareness on one hand and my new found boundary mania on the other, may make any real connection for intimacy just another dream.

found this link:

The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

#380043 - 12/19/11 09:56 AM Re: Authentic Intimacy [Re: 1lifenow]
cris40ky Offline

Registered: 06/20/11
Posts: 188
Loc: KY, US
Thank you for the link.

#380228 - 12/21/11 12:18 AM Re: Authentic Intimacy [Re: cris40ky]
NewSummer Offline

Registered: 09/01/11
Posts: 59
Loc: Surrey BC
This has my head spinning..I am so ready for a real relationship where I can feel truely equal.. till then I will just carry on.
Thanks for the link.

life is what happens while you make other plans- John Lennon

#381729 - 01/07/12 01:42 AM Re: Authentic Intimacy [Re: NewSummer]
NewSummer Offline

Registered: 09/01/11
Posts: 59
Loc: Surrey BC
My T today asked if my relationships are more about contol than intimacy. Interesting though..head spinning once again..

life is what happens while you make other plans- John Lennon


Moderator:  ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.