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#381575 - 01/05/12 07:21 PM ped park bans
westchesterguy Offline
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Registered: 11/13/09
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Loc: Westchester County NY
hi all. smile

this was curious to me today. i posted a comment in favor of a ped ban in parks in mission viejo, ca., the town of my own rapist decades ago. nonetheless, i have to say i'm not pleased at those claiming the ban is unfair. big thumbs up for those against it in the comment section. are bans perfect? no, i clearly say that too, but why isn't the main focus to protect our boys at all costs? i do wish folks here would consider weighing in. it is hard fighting the good fight alone sometimes. smile especially when the discussion turns to how wrong i am for supporting such a ban.

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/law-334071-offenders-sex.html

_________________________
Jeff

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#381589 - 01/05/12 09:48 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: westchesterguy]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
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The problem with residency restrictions or other bans is that most of the abusers know their victims. How many victims are abused outside of their own homes or the abusers home?

Since the majority of abusers have not been caught/identified, you are focusing on just the KNOWN offenders, not the majority of those who have not been convicted in the courts.

Unfortunately, this is another example of focusing on the "caught" when we should be concentrating on PREVENTION in the first place.


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#381623 - 01/06/12 01:32 AM Re: ped park bans [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
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Nothing wrong with trimming out the obvious infection. A convicted habitual pedo was re-offending in my little one-horse town. So please, the "caught" DO in fact re-offend.

Society would be brain-rotten to neglect to mention to registered sex offenders that they will see prison if they hang at a park. What does it cost us to create such a law? Maybe 1-cent worth of ink in the law books?

The citizenry who resists such measures are pedo sympathizers and enablers. No grown-man NEEDS to be at a park, surrounded by plant-cover, if he's a convicted S.O.

Prevention can include making the results of offending SO hideous and burdensome that the non-offending pedo will reconsider his future endeavors. The sweet part about convicted and registered S.O.s in violation, is that proof required to sentence is generally very well defined and quickly employed to slam bars! OH SO SWEET!!!!

Said resistance bothers me to NO END. I truly don't understand any resistance at all.

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#381638 - 01/06/12 06:38 AM Re: ped park bans [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
westchesterguy Offline
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Originally Posted By: Ken Singer, LCSW
....Unfortunately, this is another example of focusing on the "caught" when we should be concentrating on PREVENTION in the first place.


no argument there ken. i see the ban this way: a pedophile remains a stranger until he becomes your friend... in a park....in church, school, boy scouts, etc.

as for known peds on the registry at least a ban could prevent them from filming kids playing in that park. that action, from my own unscientific research, is the new an improved way for these guys to share their fantasies without being caught.

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#381648 - 01/06/12 09:51 AM Re: ped park bans [Re: westchesterguy]
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Question though: What does it cost law-makers and society to pass such obvious laws?

And:

Question: As a law-maker, what would you tell the parents of a raped child in the Emergency Room when they learn that the baby-rapist was a convicted sex offender and was allowed in that park?


If we are not willing to deal with the known offender's metriculation within free society, we need to consider permanent-captive programs in an even stronger manner. That, or offender-termination for aggravated child sexual assault.

Life without enjoyment of a playground...life without lurking where children play, ought not even be in question in a sane society without perverted agenda.

Big disapointment to find any such coddling and care for offenders here though.

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#381672 - 01/06/12 02:40 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: Still]
westchesterguy Offline
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Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown
...Life without enjoyment of a playground...life without lurking where children play, ought not even be in question in a sane society without perverted agenda.....


i agree robbie.

no idea what it costs or how its enforced. logically, if someone on the registry is caught in the park, he faces a number of legal problems. which, those opposing the ban claim hurts non-offenders on the registry unfairly. or, as they argue, because a registered non-offender can't enter the park with his kids.

this ban concept has been sweeping across the towns of so.cal in the past year. not sure how it started and not sure if its happening in other states.

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#381676 - 01/06/12 04:10 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: westchesterguy]
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I'm not sure either, but given the horrid example we just had here in Mayberry, I'm gonna be shoving legislative drafts down my House Rep's neck ASAP. Cuz the career pedo we just busted was employed by our Board of Selectmen to do repairs at the recreation center where children play and boy/girl scouts assemble regularly.

We have had some really BAD cases here in So NH lately. Time to strike while the irony's hot.

I wonder if I can get them to throw a three-timer's penalty in it. That would be freakin saweeeeeeeet!

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#381678 - 01/06/12 04:25 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: Still]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
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Registered: 08/24/00
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Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
Interesting editorial from the Newark Star-Ledger, the most influential newspaper in the state.

N.J. bill restricting where sex offenders live wouldn't help kids
Published: Thursday, January 05, 2012, 6:02 AM
Star-Ledger Editorial Board By Star-Ledger Editorial Board

The basic premise is inarguable: Who doesn’t want to protect children from sex offenders? Yet in the name of doing so, lawmakers have proposed feel-good legislation that’s more likely to do the exact opposite.

This bill, expected to be heard in the Assembly today, would allow municipalities to forbid sex offenders from living within 500 feet of a school, playground or day care center. Its sponsors, including Assemblywoman Pamela Lampitt (D-Camden), insist it will help sex offenders avoid temptation. As she puts it, “If you’re going on a diet, you wouldn’t want to see chocolate in front of you all the time.”

But would moving somebody 500 feet away from a supermarket make them any less obese? Not likely.

Think about the practical impact of the bill. Right now, nearly half of all sex offenders are concentrated in cities, where there is a school, playground or day care center on nearly every corner. So the effect of this bill would be to uproot massive numbers of sex offenders, forcing them to move to the suburbs, or go into hiding.

Their relationships with parole officers, family members and any other support network would be disrupted. And experts say that would make them even more dangerous. That’s why victim advocates, such as the National Alliance To End Sexual Violence, oppose residency restrictions.

In Iowa, since the state imposed residency restriction laws in 2005, the number of sex offenders who are unaccounted for has doubled. “We’re lucky if we know where 50 to 55 percent of them are now,” said Don Zeller, sheriff of Linn County.

In Miami, a homeless tent city under a bridge overflowed after the city enacted restrictive residency laws for sex offenders. That is no way to improve public safety.

Nobody wants their kid anywhere near a sex offender, of course. But the vast majority of sex offenders were not strangers; they chose victims they already knew. To protect kids, we have to watch them, educate them and communicate with them.

Tightening the circle around sex offenders gives us the illusion of safety. But in reality, it would leave our children less safe.


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#381682 - 01/06/12 04:42 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
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I fully understand what you are saying here Ken, but I think we are dealing with two breeds of snake. One offends covertly in the isolation and secrecy of the child's world, home, school, camp...And the other breed strikes by surprise at the ankles of the unfortunate little wanderer.

What I don't see is any legitimate and palpable negative side to the laws or muni-codes. I don't understand how it can "leave our children less safe."

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#381683 - 01/06/12 04:53 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: Still]
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You Too Can Propose Legislation

Letter to my state Rep.

Rep Charron,

I'd like to propose and discuss live at some point soon potential legislation in Criminal Justice modelled after many others around the country already drafted.

Background: I am an activist in Child Right, Child Protection and Child Sexual Assault cases. Recently in NH, and unfortunately Chester we have seen some outrageous criminal incidents of convicted child sex offenders enjoying continued access and proximity to child-active areas.

Proposed Legislation Intent: Outlaw and criminalize any and all presence of a registered sex offender on, in or reasonably near "parks" ("parks" to be defined as per NH use)

Though legislation in California is enacted on a municipal level, New Hampshire Statutes and case-law is better positioned for state-wide application.

I'm attaching a link to an article of a case within Chester where a habitual and life-long convicted child sex offender had clearly dangerous access to children via "park" presence and contracting activity. I'd like to speak to you live as soon as possible. Maybe we can grab breakfast at The Post once the primaries are over. If I see you at town hall on the 10th, I'll stop to talk then.

News Article of Offender in park





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#381702 - 01/06/12 07:03 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
westchesterguy Offline
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robbie and ken, i think there is more than one issue going on here.

firstly, the article i linked says anyone on the california "sex registry" is banned from the park. now, from what people say in their comments there -- that includes all forms of sexual activity whether rape or being caught jackingoff behind a tree while thinking of a g/f because one was drunk or whatever and bothering no one -- but he got cited anyway. it also includes a teenaged guy who "falls in love" and has consensual sex with a teenaged girl who "loves him" equally - and it gets reported by the girl's parents (i'm assuming), and his file will forever follow him and state "had sex with 16yr old girl" even though that guy is now 35 or 40 or whatever. if i'm not mistaken, that same issue happens in ny too.

i can buy that is indeed a problem for some who take the risk. is it my problem to solve? no. not anymore. got enough of them before i die in a few years.

robbie, if i am not mistaken, along with me likes the bans simply because it does specifically hit at the nasty pedophile. it is our little "home run" so to speak -- someone in authority actually hearing our voices for a change and, for the first or second time, saying "yes, hear you, got that, let's ban them."

i'm saying, or adding, that such a ban is a good first step - and/or better than nothing.

so what is next? not much of an answer from the general public. and i take great issue with that.

the n.j. bill is targeting their own list of sex offenders, correct? and does that list include what california includes, meaning guys who are actually not pedophiles?

ok - so, opinion time.

n.j. oped wrote: ".....Their relationships with parole officers, family members and any other support network would be disrupted...."

oh please -- i'm too old. cry me a river. i really don't care if a pedophile's life is disrupted by being forced to move.

next.


"...And experts say that would make them even more dangerous."

ok. have heard experts before....out of the previous white house for example: if we don't get them terrorists now, they too will become more dangerous. so, is this more of the same fear mongering? or is there some sort of proof to back up the specific claim about peds being more dangerous?

"....Tightening the circle around sex offenders gives us the illusion of safety. But in reality, it would leave our children less safe."

doing nothing is less safe - let's be perfectly clear.

that said, i question "less safe" as defined by this article for, to be honest, i see no real evidence today to show our children are safe anyway. more aware? yes. more likely to tell mummy and daddy? yes, compared with the 1970s.

the "illusion" argument, i agree with simply because this entire country is an illusion - our so called freedom (for all who aren't victims first) is an illusion; those great opportunities (for all who aren't victims) ditto, for everyone joining hands and helping one another - the grandest illusion of them all. men's sexuality? another illusion - for we are not permitted to have sexuality.

".....To protect kids, we have to watch them, educate them and communicate with them."

how quaint. another opine that ends with a period instead of stating "how." enlighten us -- teach parents how. this country is founded upon "fix it yourself." "survive yourself." "succeed yourself." help us learn how!

the n.j. oped, the ocregister, the city of mission viejo (the point of this thread), never states how to watch, educate and communicate with boys/kids whatever. it is up to the parents, it is up to each male survivor to "figure it out for themselves." thus, those in authority, whether they pass laws or write headlines, succeed in only one thing....and i describe it as: Halfass.

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#381706 - 01/06/12 07:55 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: westchesterguy]
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Well, again, I fail to see ANY down-side for anyone at all. Are there NO takers on this??? The N.J. editorial lady drones on and on with analogies and mixed metaphors that might sell a used car to an idiot, but please deliver me ONE substantial reason we ought not allow convicted pedos near children's parks...because resistance to this is actively scaring me.

I look at the opposition arguments to be pedo-apologetics and coddling. I see a highly agendised polarity that I fully resent.

Maybe I need to hear from a pedo why he ought not be effected by a force-field around parks and recreation. How bout that??? Any pedos care to hop in with a good reason? (I'm serious)

Maybe some of the pedos ought to hear about the nature of my flashbacks? Anyone wanna hear about the nature of my flashbacks...or maybe what happened during the events that cause the flashbacks?

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#381707 - 01/06/12 08:07 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: Still]
westchesterguy Offline
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Loc: Westchester County NY
dudes... update to the original article. the link one lady posted just now is that the argument or premise to reasoning why bans are unfair is that peds can be healed of their ways. that is what this is about and i've been bit 'o a fool to have engaged these ladies the past two days, me thinks.

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#381713 - 01/06/12 10:08 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Ken,

I'm all for life sentences for pedos. Stick all those losers on an island and let them fend for themselves is an even better idea. People do NOT want pedos living near them. Pedos ruin kids lives so I say we should ruin their's with life in prison. I'm a liberal person but Pedos don't change. And, I really don't care anyway. Life sentence for pedos works!

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#381714 - 01/06/12 10:11 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: westchesterguy]
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Hey! Riddle me this:

In order to have a concealed-firearm carry license, I have to go to classes, have background check up my ass, take more classes, be finger-printed, be interviewed, be tested, take more classes and pass drug tests. This is true in several states where I am licensed to carry concealed. Thank God NH has a brain-cell and an understanding of the constitution.

Anywho...By federal law (as in FEDERAL LAW) I cannot travel or LIVE (as in LIVE, DWELL or HANG-OUT) within 1000 feet of ANY school-zone whilst in possession of ANY firearm.

Now, if I pass through or within 1000 feet of a school-zone in the US of A, I will go to club fed. Do not pass go....go directly to jail. It is entirely impossible for me to do that. Its darn SAD and inconvenient (pouty face)!!!

AND I never committed any crime...ever...else I could not even OWN a farging gun.

THE LAW TEXT


So tell me dear pedophiles and pedophile-lovers, where's the equity? And if you DARE say the guns are dangerous....


MY gun never raped a baby!!!!!

So put THAT in yer NAMBLA folder and jerk-off to it!!!



Edited by Robbie Brown (01/06/12 10:13 PM)
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#381715 - 01/06/12 10:15 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: Still]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Robbie,

Pedos should be banned from anything that kids hang out at. Period. No frickin' excuses. The ones being found guilty today, life in prison is mandatory. Adios, pedos! You are now Bubba's bitch. Hope you like what happens to you since you had no problem ruining some kids life. And, no therapy for them in prison. They are there for life. Good riddance. Pedo apologists can go get stuffed!!!



Edited by phoenix321 (01/06/12 10:17 PM)
Edit Reason: add
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#381716 - 01/06/12 10:28 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: phoenix321]
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Yes phoenix, but I get ultra, wicked, totally, completely discouraged when elements of society have such utter disregard for child safety and wield that disregard in employment of supposed superior intellect and social understanding.

Why? What is it that drives such a fucked-up view of sex offenders? What does it DO for them? Do they not have the nards to put anyone away in a pit of concrete hell?

I have lost EVERYTHING by just finally dealing with CSA as I never could before.

I KNOW Jesus will get me into heaven, but I'm gonna stand by the gates just to watch baby-fuckers get turned away.

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#381718 - 01/06/12 10:39 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: phoenix321]
GoodHope Offline
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Registered: 07/05/11
Posts: 417
Think they should be banned from places where kids congregate but I do see the danger To others who live without the protection of a ban where offenders will be forced to congregate in huge concentrations. Furthermore, it is false security. False because we all know that the scary pedophile probably lives with the kid he is molesting or is actively involved in his (or her) life. Trolling parks is a risky proposition ban or no ban but your chances of getting away with raping kids is greatly enhanced by sticking to friends and family members. Someone mentioned terrorism as an example and there have been several noted experts who confess that that whole take your shoes off body scan stuff is really just to make you feel better. It may stop a terrorist, but it probably won't. Same thing here. We'll feel better. We'll even have ammo to throw a perp back In jail if we catch a perp there (fine by me). I've checked the registry for my neighborhood and I'm actually not worried by the 10 people who popped up. I'm more worried about cousins and uncles, and brothers (and now after hanging out in this board sisters) of friends. I am one maniacal mother. No one is above scrutiny and until all the parents are like me, kids will be at risk because I'm not even convinced that all my vigilance will prevent a determined perp.

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#381720 - 01/06/12 11:04 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: GoodHope]
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Anyone engaging in "False security" is bloody foolish.

If this premise is even valid, then why have home alarm systems?

Why lock your house? Why lock your car doors?

If we can't hold-out hope that a simple law is worth our time and effort, we ought not even bother with the whole "society" thing.

Do we feel secure in life knowing that police exist? If anyone does, they are a danged fool. Police in ANY area con't stop ANY crime. But the Pedo Park law is meant to ensure Johnny Jagoff knows he'll see bonus-time in the concrete shit-hole if he treads close to the children's domain. Its kind of like a restraining order.

Does the beaten woman feel safe with the restraining-order in her pocket and on file with the police? If she does, she'll likely end up injured, dead or missing with some perps. The restraining order brings us lovely things called "options."

Excercized options can include:

- A reason to arrest
- A reason to imprison
- A reason to fine
- A reason and permit to use deadly force
- A pass for using deadly force in a deadly manner. smile

But does ANY danged fool actually feel as if Billy Beatsalot is gonna stay away?

No? So false security is strictly a fool's job.




Edited by Robbie Brown (01/06/12 11:07 PM)
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#381726 - 01/07/12 12:23 AM Re: ped park bans [Re: GoodHope]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Goodhope,

I support Life in Prison for Pedos. That's it. Done. Over. No "therapy" either. Pedos are in for life.

Since we have pedos outside of jail, they live in certain sections of cities and towns and have RFID tags on them so a satellite can look down and see where the Pedo are. ID is required and Pedo shows up on any ID. Anywhere kids are hanging out, pedos don't go. If they do, the RFID tag alerts cops and the penalty for violating is LIFE IN PRISON!

Once potential pedos realize ZERO TOLERANCE is the LAW, they will think twice, and if they don't, LIFE. No excuses. That's it.

Oh, it is equal for men and women pedos. I'm sick of seeing women get away with it. Life for all. No exceptions.

Now, if any of you pedo apologists want anything different, let us know. They can all live at your house.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#381738 - 01/07/12 06:21 AM Re: ped park bans [Re: phoenix321]
GoodHope Offline
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It's not that I don't agree with you about how it should be (prison, id's etc) and I too don't think convicted child sex offender belong anywhere near where children congregate but I no longer deal in the world of "it ought to be". So the reality is municipalities are very willing to create these bans (and I support them) but if this is the only talk that takes place about child rape (and it gets the most attention) then I'm not convinced it helps as many children than if we could take that limited public attention to talk about how more than 90% of CSA victims came to be-- and it's not perps in the park. The reason why these bans are appealing is because the parents feel like "whew, my kid is safe now that no pedos are allowed." institute the ban but if I were in charge of this initiative my battle cry would be "this is a small important step towards combatting CSA but the real work has nothing to do w RSO lists because it's in your homes, churches, clubs etc."

Nothing kept me up at night like discovering who it was that did this to my husband. I know the information we have now about who abuses was not widely known when this was happening to him so his mother didn't know to look out for the 12 year old step brother, but I'm not convinced moms today would know either because the conversation and energy is focused on RSO lists and municipal bans of convicted offenders.

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#381742 - 01/07/12 09:03 AM Re: ped park bans [Re: GoodHope]
westchesterguy Offline
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and another day dawns. lol. i wasn't going to respond further to that thread, however, a comment was posted overnight from the main advocate opposing the park ban:

he told me that i failed to realize how easy it is to land on the sex offender registry. and suggested that i get more versed on what it takes to become a registrant before making judgements and comments that are uninformed.

so, with that, i did respond and said i'm man enough to own my mistakes and accept the consequences unlike some "in this society of 'blame everyone else' for 'what i did wrong.'" i also said that by attacking adult survivors of childhood rape he isn't winning any points fighting for his case of injustice.

i have admit it bothers me that there are 20 thumbs up in total for those who write in opposition to the park ban....and 0 for me. 20-0...thought i'd do better, thought at least one reader in "the o.c." would also pick up that bat and give it a swing in favor of kids. me was wrong.

interesting to ponder, no? while i can't say those folks are "pro molestation" they are anti-sex offender list and very likely believe peds can repent be cured. but they bond for the cause, they support each other and it is clear to me they cruise the 'net in search of any opportunity to push their agenda in stories such as those.

where are we?

what is our group? where is our cause identity? me - individually fighting through posts on that story. (i did so on the wsj too regarding sandusky.) someone else (i read here last week) being featured in a news article in his hometown about abuse -- alone too? robbie -- is carrying his cause -- alone too? others here - fighting the good fight as a solitary soldier?

is this it? this entire movement of male survivors is just made up of thousands of individuals doing their own thing? i imagine the power in numbers and i know that oprah show featuring many here was a great success - one time. i guess i just wish we all were more actively networking together for our cause in the same way the "befriend and be kind to a former pedophile" group seems to be.


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#381798 - 01/08/12 12:17 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: westchesterguy]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Jeff,

The only huge problem with networking with those that went on Oprah is society, as a whole, still hasn't changed a whole lot of rape of boys. We just considered it "rape" legally in the last week. Women offenders get away with it for the most part and get sympathy. Even in the psych community there are therapists that don't get women molesting boys is a big deal. The laws really haven't caught up on male offenders either. They are reviled for sure.

Then there is many in society who laugh when a boy or man yells rape and even sexual harassment by women. The other stigma is that boys molested will become pedos and dangers to society. Let's face it, there isn't a whole lot of giving a shit for male rape victims like there is women rape victims.

I applaud the guys on Oprah, but, to be honest, I wouldn't join them at this time because I'm not a public figure like Tyler Perry. He's not going to face a whole lot of discrimination and scorn today. He might have before today. I don't know.

Then there are the bunch that discounts guys saying they were molested because of false memories. Until there is a concerted effort on the Mental Health providers associations to destroy the stigma and get it's own ranks to treat it like they do women and say it is just as damaging, I personally don't see a reason to become an oddity in the public eye. It also amazes me that there are pedo apologists in the therapy world.

The boys/men going public are real heroes. I don't know their recoveries but until I have peace with it myself and have recovered a bunch, I'm more than happy to suffer in silence and heal in silence because I don't want to even think about handling it being public. It sucks but I don't have to concern myself being in the glare of the public eye and facing skeptics and other weirdos.

That's a really tough nod you advocate. It should be up to the victims/survivors to be publicly associated with a network and the network should refrain from being intrusive. Look at women rape victims not saying anything because of defense lawyers who attempt to destroy them. It's sad. I can be anonymous on the Internet for the most part and can quit anytime. Going public you can never quit.



Edited by phoenix321 (01/08/12 12:19 PM)
Edit Reason: typos
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#381799 - 01/08/12 12:21 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: westchesterguy]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: westchesterguy
is this it? this entire movement of male survivors is just made up of thousands of individuals doing their own thing? i imagine the power in numbers and i know that oprah show featuring many here was a great success - one time. i guess i just wish we all were more actively networking together for our cause in the same way the "befriend and be kind to a former pedophile" group seems to be.


The "befriend and be kind to pedos groups" make me sick too.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#381811 - 01/08/12 04:52 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: phoenix321]
GoodHope Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/05/11
Posts: 417

Unfortuntaely, Phoenix is correct and you can't be sure how you will be recieved. My husband is not ready to go public. period. Not even because of what MAY happen.

I've never been raped, as a child or adult. I have no recovery to work through (other than supporting my husband) so nothing can be derailed for me by negative reactions to a child rape story. I'm not sure the same can be said for men (or women) who are actually working through their own shame doubts and demons.

I pray one day my husband will be ready to share his story. Because he is a successful businessman, respected in his church and community, I feel like despite naysayers, it will help people. But it's not my call to make.

I don't want to sit idle. I want to shout to the world, shake people, turn tables over, run naked through the streets tearing at my clothes--ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to get people talking about this thing. But I can't. It's not my story to tell. So the men out there who do, I'll support them, I'll write letters, I'll do my part in the tiny box i'm in and when my box gets bigger, so will my voice.

_________________________
Wife of a survivor

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#381856 - 01/09/12 07:33 AM Re: ped park bans [Re: phoenix321]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
Originally Posted By: phoenix321
....I'm more than happy to suffer in silence and heal in silence because I don't want to even think about handling it being public.


i understand. i wasn't suggesting that everyone go public. smile the 'net gives guys who don't want to be public the anonymity option. i have engaged in online campaigns for a completely different cause with many others who were not necessarily using their real names either. simply, it was to ban youtube videos where live pet rabbits were fed to snakes for kicks and laughs. the snake would grab the rabbit, it would screamed while being eaten and the guys would cheer on the snake - bigger rabbit, bigger snake all the better. putting rabbits in microwaves ovens live too - this kind of thing. (yes, no need to say we have a sick society.) i have a pet rabbit as did the other folks in this campaign. we simply alerted each other via email to new videos being posted - we would all log into youtube to flag the videos as animal abuse etc. and try to get them pulled off.

in our case for supporting male survivors, i was just thinking of banding together and weighing in for such cases as this park ban article as to increase awareness in public showing we are here, we are surviving and have something to say.

_________________________
Jeff

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#381872 - 01/09/12 01:19 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: westchesterguy]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6602
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Rabbits don't matter to snakes.

Children don't matter to snakes or enough adults to make any change.

As far as I know, child-rape has been going on for all of human history. Humans will not self-police something that a large proportion enjoys...or makes the balance feel uncomfortable or protective of the offender.

Nothing will happen on this until the end of days.

_________________________
I'm "that guy."

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#381896 - 01/09/12 06:52 PM Re: ped park bans [Re: Still]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown
...Nothing will happen on this until the end of days.


i hate to say i agree with you robbie. 'cause in agreeing... i feel like we empower the assholes in life. but... i think the assholes outnumber us too, hm, how is 6 of them to every 1 of us? (yea mean, but i'm in the mood. ;-)

_________________________
Jeff

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