Yesterday I was visiting my folks.
And I just began to feel like i am a boy...For OnCE!
I was watching Spiderman. The new ones. I am not sure if
the old ones are still around.
He is sooo cool! And Peter Parker has a sense of humour.
That is soooo awesome!
I love to watch stuff like this ...to help me be a boy.
And i have to combeat these voices in my head ...( my dad's
sister-in-law).
She was very violent with me. She would embarass me in front of her daughters...and i literally can feel them
( her daughters punching me and more) ; literally , there are times when i can be walking and my testicles hurt..a feeling of someone kicking the hell out of me.. down there
and feeling it as if i can see them saying ..shouting @ You will never remember this!!@ and i would
just close my eyes and when i opened them i would just never ( or force-to Not remeember anything that they were sick! too sick..And when i am around my mom ..it is like i want to tell her all this. But i am too afraid..and i would always remember when i was a kid my mom would hit me sooo damn much .. i didnt know who to turn to.. so i just kinda forced myself to listen to this piece of shit loser husband of hers..
( yes i am sorry i went wayyy off my happy story ..sharing)
..Again i would listen to her whatever husband of hers and he would would ..touch and play .. and i wont say any more.
I lost my genetalia ..for him and them and i am sooo pissed off .. that i missed all that
that I am better today and i know now that i can watch Spiderman , BAckyardigans..I want more.
And i want to hang out with a guy who wont seduce me ..or that i would make him feel undcomfortable ..all my life
i thought i was doing a goood job. And i was just lying to myself. I have so much anger in me!
I wish them whatever ..thanks for listening i dont know what i would do if i didnt have YOU!