I'm not referring to appearances but rather to guys who are boyish inside, or have that archetypical boyish charm, if I'm explaining it right. I don't mean to stereotype all women as interested in only one type but I've heard it a fair bit that this is an attribute which women are attracted to in men. If so it leaves me at a loss since even though I am not that old I am far from feeling or acting young. I am not unhappy with myself about this, it just is. Anyways I guess I'm just curious about what it is some women find attractive about guys who are boyish on the inside. I look forward to your insights:)

Hi jls

Not being a girl, I would say that it is confidence and self value that would attract the right woman.
Perhaps Im wrong and the ladies can set the record straight.

Heal well
Martin

Very interesting question.

I would say that there are so many things that attracted me to my husband.

This is a good reminder for me when things get really hard, you know, what attracted me to him in the first place.

1. His wit, intelligence and charm.
2. His loyalty or what I perceived as loyalty. I was wrong about him being loyal and trustworthy but the "idea" that he was those things attracted me to him. (Make sense?)
3. Shared interests
4. His body. He is a big guy and very hairy and I like that.
5. Kindness
6. And absolutely, his boyish charm. He sometimes is just a goofy, silly boy on the inside. He makes me laugh when he is like that. Ok, I could do without the constant farting but he does make me laugh.

I can add a few things which attract me now.

1. His courage to face all this.

2. His courage to share his feelings and fears with me

Is this what you were looking for? Regardless, it was good for me to remind myself.

All this being said, yes his boyish charm is funny and fun and attractive BUT if that is all you are and are not responsible and a grown up, well there is nothing charming about that. I want a responsible, healthy, courageous, REAL man who is unafraid to be vulnerable. The boyish charm is a great trait if you are the above things too.

JLS,I think there are as many things that attract women as there are women.

Thanks to all of you. Your responses are helpful. What I'm hearing is what I suspected in that women appreciate a complex individual, as opposed to someone who is two dimensional. I could be wrong but from your input I also interpret that the attraction toward boyishness in men is in essence an attraction toward spontaneity, as in someone who doesn't fail to surprise, which keeps a relationship exciting. While I am quite a serious individual (and I'll admit somewhat predictable), during my recovery from csa I am learning to become more lighthearted and spontaneous. Not to say that I have abrogated my adult sense of responsibility in the process. Rather, it is more a matter of finding a balance. Thanks again for your valuable input:)

JLS,
Obviously disappointed is right when she says there are many, many women who want many different things.

You don't have to worry. There are no set rules as to what women want. Disappointed wants a metrosexual and that, to me, is the most unattractive thing in the world. I like my man hairy and manly. If a man spends to much time on his appearance or doing his eyebrows or is too into fashion, I am turned off. I would rather have a man who sits in front of the TV and screaming at the game than spending his time plucking his eyebrows but that is just me.

The point is there are as many types of men that women find desirable as there are women. so don't worry. there is someone for everyone.

Maybe there are traits we all want but I can't speak for everyone like honesty, kindness and the COURAGE to be vulnerable. The point is, imho, JUST BE YOURSELF and the right girl for you will appreciate and love you for who you really are.

I'm seeing 35 yo males acting like 16yos. I'm dead-serious about that too. And there IS a class of women that go for that. The rub is however that you have a male and a female 16yo-like relationship full of MTV drama and abject foolishness.

I've got TWO neighbor children (males) who party all the time like its freshmen year of high school. They dash around trying to get beers, cigs, trasportation...all by their latest and trendiest iPhones. They leave there multi-momma children with their parents (also next-door) and go out and have their childish drama. 35 years old and they are getting busted for pissing on the street....for driving drunk, smashing cars the day they buy them, running around to get the keg-tap that was left at Billy's house.

One day, my son flipped over his kayak to visit it, as we never get out anymore. he found this 35yo fools beer stash hiding under it. I poured-out each and every one of them. He actually told his mommy and daddy that the mean guy next door did that.

But I'm sure you are talking about a personality trait, and not overall behavior. But I'm seeing SO darn much of this these days.

Robbie
Definitely childish and unacceptable behavior and not what I would call boyish charm. It sucks that you and your children have to be exposed to that crap. You are right about seeing too much of that. I am shocked when I hear people call themselves or their so's baby mamas. It is very sad that their children are raised in that type of environment.

That is, in my opinion, totally irresponsible people and there is no charm in that, boyish or otherwise. NO women in her right mind would be interested in that kind of crap. I shouldn't say that. It is judgemental.

To each his own.........unless my kids have to see it. Then I am thoroghly pissed.

Okay, Robbie's right,too many men not grown up. Too many women not grown up.

Sorry, D. When I think of metrosexual I think of eyebrow plucking. My bad.