I find myself struggling for words to express how much this thread - and our friendship - mean to me.
You and I connected profoundly in your first weeks - and in my first few days - here on ms.org. You, along with Bobcat and a few other guys, were my lifeline in those days. I will never forget my first months here, spending hours a day reading posts, often shaking and crying in front of my computer, facing unbearable truths, telling unbearable secrets, and waiting, waiting for the blinky flag at the top of the screen that meant a PM from you. We told each other the unbearable secrets, in gruesome detail. We waited in mortal fear for the day when the blinky flag wouldn't come, for the day when the truth we told was too much for the other to bear, for the day when we would find ourselves alone again with our pain and our shame - and that day never came. We each amazed the other by not freaking out, by not turning away, by turning each other's unbearable secrets into the treasures of friendship.
We've journeyed together ever since, online, in person, at WoR, in your home state and mine. We've come a long way in our recovery, and while we both know it's still a hard road, there has been dramatic change and healing for both of us in two years, and it never would have happened for me without your phenomenal courage and honesty and compassion.
We often chuckle at how unlikely our relationship is - me, a gay single Christian CSA guy living in a huge city, and you, a straight married atheist ASA guy living in a small town a thousand miles away. But that only deepens my sense of the extraordinary (I won't use the word "miraculous"
) power of our friendship, and my gratitude for the astonishing gift you've been to me in the last two years. You are a profoundly loving and deeply healing presence in my life, EB, and I'm forever grateful.
Love to you my brother!