I am 65 yo. I always knew I had been molested but my mind went blank at the point I was naked. Since the last time I was raped, I have never had any physical intimacy with anyone. As I age, I feel a hunger for closeness, hugging for instance, but not for some 65 yo but for a young person in his early 20's, and it would not be sexual, it would just be the feeling of holding and being held.
I suppose that I am an odd case in that I never had a single physically intimate moment that was not torture. Never married, never dated and in fact would only be interested in a gay relationship. I just wonder if other older men have the fear that they will never have a positive experience of physical affection? I feel hellishly lonely.