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#380450 - 12/22/11 06:22 PM Re: "Normals" [Re: Castle]
neveragain Offline


Registered: 12/21/11
Posts: 26
im new here and don't want to use the wrong terms. if we are survivors what do we call our wives and family and other people?


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#380451 - 12/22/11 06:22 PM Re: "Normals" [Re: Disappointed]
Disappointed Offline


Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 540
Loc: U.S.A.
Hey, Castle,

Please excuse me, but why were you in a mood today?

D.

_________________________
Female.

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#380452 - 12/22/11 06:53 PM Re: "Normals" [Re: neveragain]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6601
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Originally Posted By: neveragain
im new here and don't want to use the wrong terms. if we are survivors what do we call our wives and family and other people?


Wives = you don't want MY answer
Children = "Children"

Family general = Family

IRS = Freakin no-good &$^#))@)(ards

_________________________
I'm "that guy."

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#380456 - 12/22/11 07:38 PM Re: "Normals" [Re: Still]
OurLastChance Offline


Registered: 05/02/11
Posts: 32
Loc: USA
With everything I've been through these past couple of years (Survivor spouse has battled adultery, lies, porno), I would like to think I "the wife" should be referred to as:
The "saint" who has held our family together, the "confidant" who has held on to his secrets only shared with me, the "lover" who openly continues to give and receive with no thought of 'revenge or abstinance' and finally......the "wife" who holds our marriage vows sacred on her end.


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#380457 - 12/22/11 07:45 PM Re: "Normals" [Re: OurLastChance]
Anthony39 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/15/07
Posts: 345
Loc: Montreal, Canada
@ Disappointed

FOREIGNER????????

Unless you are native american , remember that you are a foreigner too, or your ancestors.

_________________________
Look up and not down; look forward and not back; look out and not in; and lend a hand.
E. E. Hale


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM213aMKTHg

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#380458 - 12/22/11 08:04 PM Re: "Normals" [Re: Anthony39]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6601
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Tony,

Don't make me invade Canada. You know I can do it too!

_________________________
I'm "that guy."

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#380459 - 12/22/11 08:11 PM Re: "Normals" [Re: Still]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6601
Loc: FEMA Region 1
OH...and I found a picture of "The Normals."



_________________________
I'm "that guy."

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#380462 - 12/22/11 09:09 PM Re: "Normals" [Re: Still]
Jim1104 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 410
Loc: Louisiana, USA
Folks, I am really new at this whole CSA thing from the standpoint of a) believing it really may have happened and b) understanding anything much about it, but I read this thread and wanted to say something. It got too long, so I put it in another thread here called Person. It really is a processing thread, so you can ignore it if you want.

Castle, I thank you for starting this, because, at least, the topic makes me think about what I am and I agree with you.

If you asked me what you, the family member or spouse of a "survivor" really should be called, I vote for "Person." Thanks for sharing.

By the way, Robbie, I love the picture of the Normal Family. Now I will have something to compare my own family with :-).

_________________________
Jim
Male/USA

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#380492 - 12/23/11 10:16 AM Re: "Normals" [Re: Jim1104]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 733
Loc: NJ
D: I wrote this yesterday someplace else.


I wanted to put this on a friends wall today, but it probably wouldnt help matters, but they are still my thoughts so even if all the people dont get to see it, I rather just express myself...Im not talking about my family here, but certainly things overlap.

I see and have seen a lot of shit, Im not stupified often. Some days families stupify me with their actions, or lack of actions....Thier denial of the truth in the name of a "org" or family name...The hurt they can inflict, to keep a rug hiding that hole in the floor, thats there no matter how long you try to cover it, out of fear and shame.

Today is one of those days I'm stupified...and also one of the days, I know what it is to be a friend, have a friend, I love, whos hurting, and inturn I hurt...I see so much stregnth through pain to lay the line down and say I'm not playing that game anymore, no matter how hard you try to put out a false front, with disregard of others feelings.

For the believers reading this, you will be judged, by a power greater than me, but I'm also judging and can tell you you've done wrong.

NOte: I added this here today.

To add...I'll say this. Sometimes a "family" or its members in an incestuous abuse situation can move twords the perp...Not so much because they want to protect the perp, but because they cant deal with the changing of the dynamic that the survivors brngs to the table...the "family" will do anything to protect the old "system". Incest quite the beast...If they have to look at the enviornment and why the abuse was able to happen they might see some of thier culpability.



Edited by Castle (12/23/11 10:35 AM)
_________________________

My posts can self destruct at any time..read them while you can.

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#380500 - 12/23/11 12:03 PM Re: "Normals" [Re: Castle]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Castle
...To add...I'll say this. Sometimes a "family" or its members in an incestuous abuse situation can move twords the perp...Not so much because they want to protect the perp, but because they cant deal with the changing of the dynamic that the survivors brngs to the table...the "family" will do anything to protect the old "system". Incest quite the beast...If they have to look at the enviornment and why the abuse was able to happen they might see some of thier culpability.


We talked about this issue of "feeling" normal or abnormal in our local in-person group. It was good to hash this issue out and have some laughter. I am very grateful to you all for your input.

Peace,
Avery

_________________________
aka DJsport

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