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#379568 - 12/15/11 10:34 AM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: ShortedDiode]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: ShortedDiode
My parents were totally unconcerned that we lived next door to a convicted pedophile and knew full well that I spent time alone with him because they didn't care. They didn't give a damn.


Ho lee fuck dude!!!! If you just heard a long scream, that was me. I am SO sorry!

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#379569 - 12/15/11 10:37 AM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: Still]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I did not expect to see these responses. I did...but actually hoped-not.

How did we get here? How did we get this far. HOW the fk did we get THIS FAR.

This is beyond what my feeble mind can handle.

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#379613 - 12/15/11 05:46 PM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: Still]
ShortedDiode Offline


Registered: 11/26/11
Posts: 97
Loc: Hamilton, ON Canada
Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown
Originally Posted By: ShortedDiode
My parents were totally unconcerned that we lived next door to a convicted pedophile and knew full well that I spent time alone with him because they didn't care. They didn't give a damn.


Ho lee fuck dude!!!! If you just heard a long scream, that was me. I am SO sorry!


Thanks for the kind words. They mean a lot to me because nobody cared at the time. I've been trying to write an introduction and I was planning to explain about the neighbour and other things but I keep having false starts. Maybe if I try to explain about just the neighbour only it'll help me get over the block.

Several years after the abuse from the neighbour took place, I was coming home from class or my part time job when I got out of the subway and saw a news helicopter flying low above our neighbourhood. It was really low. I thought there might have been a bad accident on one of the main roads that it was covering or something until I was almost home and I realized it was right over top of my parents house.

That was bizarre, there was nothing going on outside, so I went in and asked my mother what was going on. She didn't know, so we turned on the TV and I got on the internet and that's when we found the news coverage that the guy next door had been arrested accused of abusing boys from the baseball team he coached, including a view or our neighbourhood from above from that helicopter showing our house next to his, the street, and a few of the other neighbours houses. This played out in the media for a few days, then it died down until the trial and conviction happened and he was sent to jail.

He'd lived next door to my family for over 10 years, probably close to a good 15 years. My friend who lived across the street and I, who weren't on the baseball team, spent time with him together and both of us alone at different times and my parents knew this. I don't know if he ever abused my friend; I've never worked up the courage to ask. The only thing my parents ever said about the whole thing was that they guessed they didn't really know the guy. The never asked if anything happened when my friend and I were with him or on the occasions I was alone with him, including several trips out of town.

I guess this isn't something my folks missed, but something they deliberately chose to let slide by since they knew damn well these news reports were about the guy next door I used to spend time with because his picture was in the paper and on TV in the news reports. I can't imagine anybody else's parents letting something like that go, but it's just more of the same don't care, can't give a damn attitude from my parents.

I guess it's easier to explain the situation in a little bit at a time; I'll have to sit down and have another go at writing that introduction later.

_________________________
If it's a choice between laughing or crying, I'd rather laugh.

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#379618 - 12/15/11 06:18 PM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: ShortedDiode]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I guess it's easier to explain the situation in a little bit at a time; I'll have to sit down and have another go at writing that introduction later. [/quote]

Yeah well...I want to make another video for the intentionally blind...the intentionally ignorant...the intentionally too busy...the intentionally trusting that "it would never actually happen to MY son." And the, this is a fine neighborhood fucktards.......oh fk it all....

Oooops! Do I sound bitter again??

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#382980 - 01/20/12 08:38 PM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: Survivinguy]
trb1345 Offline


Registered: 03/09/11
Posts: 73
Loc: NY
Being the youngest in the family, I'd say more than just my parents missed a few things.

3-Toilet training relapses
9-Withdrawal from normal human contact
19-Lack of self-esteem or self-worth
24-Excessive passivity

I totally withdrew from people.

Tommy

_________________________
Inside all of us there's a wild thing.

-My favorite book.

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#383006 - 01/21/12 01:00 AM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: trb1345]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Tommy,

I'm sorry they missed all of that. Your avatar looks so recent and present. It makes me want to holler at all of them for missing it all.

Good choice in favorite books too.
You'll see the same with my location.
That book was a HUGE comfort to me for some reason. Its not really a "comforting" book by intent...by it brought me tremendous comfort from the second-grade-on. I ordered it myself from the pass-around sheet for buying books.

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Wishing You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#383017 - 01/21/12 10:18 AM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: Survivinguy]
trb1345 Offline


Registered: 03/09/11
Posts: 73
Loc: NY
@ Survivinguy:

"Add - inexplicable anger to the point my Fourth Grade teacher wrote in my grade report that I as an angry kid and that I "had a chip on my shoulder". Really? I was in fourth grade and you thought I had a chip on my shoulder? Way to go Mrs. Dunning!"


Two of my older sibs both said I had a "chip" on my shoulder (word for word with yours) once the abuse started, which they didn't know about. I too was in fourth grade. I too wonder why no one said anything, especially given the age difference between us (10yrs and 6yrs older than me). But I think we can play the "could've, would've, should've" game as much as we want, but it may not be the most productive thing, especially for me.



Edited by trb1345 (01/21/12 10:24 AM)
_________________________
Inside all of us there's a wild thing.

-My favorite book.

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#383021 - 01/21/12 12:20 PM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: Still]
timetested Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 30
I'd have to go with these:

1-Explicit and sometimes bizarre sexual knowledge
2-Precocious sexually related speech
7-Regressive behavior
8-Masturbation
9-Withdrawal from normal human contact
11-Bedwetting
14-Excessive fear of selected individuals and/or locations
18-Abrupt or radical behavioral or attitude changes
19-Lack of self-esteem or self-worth
22-Frequent nightmares
23-Inability to sleep

That said, masturbation is a natural act. I would have to modify that by adding "excessive."

I'd also add rage, particularly against authority figures (adults), and a tendency to escape into fantasy worlds I created for myself.


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#383030 - 01/21/12 02:21 PM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: timetested]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2435
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my fraternal brothers.

Way back in the 1940's & 1950's I don't think that much was known or said about CSA.
Hell, not much was said about the emotional, physical & mental abuse then either.

My list.
#7-Regressive behavior
#8-Masturbation*
#14-Excessive fear of selected individuals and/or locations**
#15-Abrupt or radical behavioral or attitude changes.***
#19-Lack of self-esteem or self worth.****
#24-Excessive passivity.

*-Masturbation for me became a way of life. Excessive and compulsive right up to this day.

**Fear of selected individuals..My "mom." The very person who brought this "precious gift from God." into the world. I feared for my life. From 8 yrs old on I had always told her that i wished that she was DEAD.

***Abrupt or radical behavioral or attitude changes. I was a terror in school from the beginning. Starting in the 3rd & 4Th grades my "mom" was asked to transfer me to another school as they couldn't tame me.
I remember being taken to a hospital/clinic where a nurse (or someone in a white coat) had separated me from my "mom," taken me to a room and having me do various things all the while talking to me and having everything transcribed onto a Dictaphone machine. This went on for months. Then while there I was taken into a darkened room and had wires hooked up to my head and on the other end was a recording machine, sort of like those that make those squiggly lines on paper, sort of like a lie detector or earthquake machines do. I never did find out what that was all about. I was around 11-14 years old.

****Lack of self-esteem or self worth. My "mom" had drilled into this little/young boys mind and soul that he was worthless, useless, would never amount to anything, unwanted boy for the first 17 years of my life. I had believed it, I had lived my life believing all of it. I started on my alcoholic career at 16. I wake up every day telling myself that it was all a lie, i'm trying to convince myself she was dead wrong. It has taken me a long time coming to terms with that.

Adding to what our brother timetested said, lack of respect for authority. (A real tough one for me in the military.)
Fantasy worlds also.

Fortunately, I was taken from her at 10 years old into an Catholic orphanage/Home for four years there I was wanted & loved. I was 10-14 years old there. I have always considered that there is where my life had begun.

What did YOUR people miss?

EASY as it was my "MOM."

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Heal well, my brothers, heal well.

Pete..Irishmoose.

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#383272 - 01/23/12 07:27 PM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: ShortedDiode]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1184
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/17/13 11:35 PM)
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