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#379355 - 12/13/11 10:18 PM What did YOUR people miss?
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6353
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Warning signs/symptoms of sexual abuse



The following is a list of
Warning signs/symptoms of sexual abuse:

Just wondering what your parents or teachers or caretakers may have missed:


1-Explicit and sometimes bizarre sexual knowledge
2-Precocious sexually related experimentation and speech
3-Toilet training relapses
4-Smearing of feces and /or urine
5-Gagging and unexplained vomiting
6-Speech problems
7-Regressive behavior
8-Masturbation
9-Withdrawal from normal human contact
10-Stomach and head pains
11-Bedwetting
12-Suicidal depression
13-Self destructive tendencies
14-Excessive fear of selected individuals and/or locations
15-Loss of appetite
16-Unexplained bruises or injuries in genital areas
17-Blood spotting or unexplained substances in underwear
18-Abrupt or radical behavioral or attitude changes
19-Lack of self-esteem or self-worth
20-Ulcers, colitis, anorexia or other stress related disorders
21-Alcohol or drug abuse
22-Frequent nightmares
23-Inability to sleep
24-Excessive passivity
25-Vaginal or urinary tract infections
26-Infections of the mouth, gums and throat
27-Venereal disease
28-Unexplained gifts from adults
29-Presence of extra money
30-Presence of pornography

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#379357 - 12/13/11 10:21 PM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: Still]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6353
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
For me, the big ones were:

2-Precocious sexually related experimentation and speech - to an off-the-hook extreme with other boys from age 8 to 15.

4-Smearing of feces and /or urine - as a sexual release

8-Masturbation from - age 8-on

24-Excessive passivity - This one was HUGE to the point of annoyance of many adults.

19-Lack of self-esteem or self-worth

22-Frequent nightmares

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#379375 - 12/13/11 11:52 PM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: Still]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3296
Loc: back in the USA
Yup - For me the biggies from your list were:

8-Masturbation
12-Suicidal depression
14-Excessive fear of selected individuals and/or locations
18-Abrupt or radical behavioral or attitude changes
19-Lack of self-esteem or self-worth
22-Frequent nightmares

I'd add:

Extreme withdrawal and flattening of emotions
Sleep walking and talking
Migraines
Obsessive thought patterns
Worry/preoccupation with self-image & appearance
Rashes and "allergic" skin conditions
Escape into fantasy/imaginary world
Hermit-like avoidance of others
Periods of unawareness of surroundings

Lee

_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#379447 - 12/14/11 03:43 PM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: traveler]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1388
Loc: California
Mine missed that I was a psychotic mess by the time I was 10 years old.

They never took the time to actually talk to me.

Bastards.

D

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#379466 - 12/14/11 05:41 PM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: Magellan]
Logan81 Offline


Registered: 01/28/11
Posts: 42
Loc: Lubbock, TX
Yup, definitely related to several of those:

1-Explicit and sometimes bizarre sexual knowledge
2-Precocious sexually related experimentation and speech
8-Masturbation
9-Withdrawal from normal human contact
19-Lack of self-esteem or self-worth (I kept this one incredibly well-hidden, though)
24-Excessive passivity
30-Presence of pornography


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#379484 - 12/14/11 07:56 PM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: Logan81]
ShortedDiode Offline


Registered: 11/26/11
Posts: 92
Loc: Hamilton, ON Canada
From the list:

1-Explicit and sometimes bizarre sexual knowledge
2-Precocious sexually related experimentation and speech
8-Masturbation
9-Withdrawal from normal human contact
10-Stomach and head pains
14-Excessive fear of selected individuals and/or locations
15-Loss of appetite
22-Frequent nightmares
23-Inability to sleep
24-Excessive passivity

The biggest thing my parents missed was when our next door neighbour was arrested and convicted of abusing boys on the baseball team he coached. My parents knew that one of my friends and I spent a lot of time with him, and that I spent time with him alone as well. They never asked if I was ok or if anything happened. My parents were totally unconcerned that we lived next door to a convicted pedophile and knew full well that I spent time alone with him because they didn't care. They didn't give a damn.

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#379488 - 12/14/11 08:08 PM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: ShortedDiode]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
2-Precocious sexually related experimentation and speech
7-Regressive behavior
8-Masturbation
9-Withdrawal from normal human contact
10-Stomach and head pains
11-Bedwetting
13-Self destructive tendencies
14-Excessive fear of selected individuals and/or locations
19-Lack of self-esteem or self-worth
20-Ulcers, colitis, anorexia or other stress related disorders
22-Frequent nightmares
23-Inability to sleep
24-Excessive passivity
30-Presence of pornography

"I'd add:

Extreme withdrawal and flattening of emotions
Sleep walking and talking
Migraines
Worry/preoccupation with self-image & appearance
Escape into fantasy/imaginary world
Hermit-like avoidance of others"

Yep, add all those too from like 4-up. Had an hernia then ulcer real young (under 10). #14 more along the lines of abandonment. My sperm donor was a physically and emotionally abusive ass. The threatened to keep me back in Kindergarten and that makes sense since the CSA happened at 3 1/2. Got nude mags at 10-11.



Edited by phoenix321 (12/14/11 08:11 PM)
Edit Reason: add
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#379489 - 12/14/11 08:26 PM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: phoenix321]
limit Offline


Registered: 04/23/11
Posts: 131
.



Edited by limit (12/17/11 05:33 PM)

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#379491 - 12/14/11 08:27 PM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: phoenix321]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3296
Loc: back in the USA
Just want to add here - when i was a kid there wasn't much awareness of psychological issues - that was just for the "crazy" people. The rest of us middle class whites were OK! I'm sure my step-father - one of the perps - had no idea that my weird symptoms - whichever ones he was aware of - and there were many he knew about - because he used them to justify his treatment of me as a pathetic failure and less than human - were in any way related to his actions. And my mom was adamantly and willfully and stubbornly in denial - so she was aware of only the syptoms she couldn't avoid or deny - ones that impacted her life - but acted as tho they had no significance - they were jsut inconveniecnes - while she ignored or was honestly/ignorantly oblivious or blind to the rest.

Lee

_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#379492 - 12/14/11 08:49 PM Re: What did YOUR people miss? [Re: traveler]
Survivinguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 310
Loc: Colorado
1-Explicit and sometimes bizarre sexual knowledge
2-Precocious sexually related experimentation and speech
9-Withdrawal from normal human contact
10-Stomach and head pains
12-Suicidal depression
13-Self destructive tendencies
17-Blood spotting or unexplained substances in underwear
19-Lack of self-esteem or self-worth
21-Alcohol or drug abuse
22-Frequent nightmares
23-Inability to sleep
24-Excessive passivity

And an extension of 17 - when I had significant blood loss during a bowel movement, being terrified when my Mom found out and equally terrified she would tell my Dad (my primary abuser) - literrally begging her to promise she wouldn't tell him and her laughing at my concern and immediately telling him (which then guaranteed him physically torturing me later).

Add - inexplicable anger to the point my Fourth Grade teacher wrote in my grade report that I as an angry kid and that I "had a chip on my shoulder". Really? I was in fourth grade and you thought I had a chip on my shoulder? Way to go Mrs. Dunning!

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Alumni Dahlonega WoR May 2010
Alumni Sequoia WoR March 2012

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