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#37929 - 04/13/05 10:01 PM is this normal or just me?(dont know if it triggers)
firechad Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/11/05
Posts: 4
Loc: nc
i dont know if this is where to ask this i dont know where else to go or who to talk to maybe its not worth the menting let me first give a very undetailed brief about this 2 months ago i was attacked raped sodomized with a knife (which is resulting in several surgeies) well anyways sionce then i hate to admit i tell everyone i dont but i do i have started useing alot of drugs some pot and now herion i drink alot now to never did any of that before, recently i started "cutting" and attempted suicide a few times
i have a loveing b/f or so i thought but since all of this has happen he never comes near me or speaks to me things have become overly distant and i just dont know how to feel or think i dont know maybe its just me , cause now i cant leave the house with out shaking , cant breath i get dizzy basically scared as h'll , i still run into these guys and they have made a few coments refering to what happen and its getting more unbareable everyday, i cant tell anyone because im scared what they might say scared it will make the b/f frewak more, i cant help but feel like i did something i hate doing the drugs an drinking but it seems to be the only release sometimes even though it only last a few moments, i wake sweaty and scared, i now even get moments where i black out and dont remember things i did, but unfortunately i cant forget what happen seems i cant listen to music or watch tv without it happening again it seems like i even feel it happening again im sorry this was long maybe this doesnt belong here but i was hopeing maybe just maybe i aint the only one that has taken the route i have to cope maybe someone understands some part of it all but maybe not thank you for reading this chad...


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#37930 - 04/14/05 12:04 AM Re: is this normal or just me?(dont know if it triggers)
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Chad
I would honestly say to you, "find some help my friend"

Your vicious rape a short time ago will affect you deeply, and there is help available.

I don't live in the US, but I'm sure that some of the guys here will help you find somewhere.

Any kind of sex attack, at any age, traumatises us. We sometimes believe that drink and drugs will make the pain go away as well, it doesn't. Proper help is essential.

But keep coming here, we're a bunch of guys who give all the support we can.

Take care
Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#37931 - 04/14/05 12:35 AM Re: is this normal or just me?(dont know if it triggers)
Rustam Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/04
Posts: 470
Loc: UK
Hi Chad,

You have just been though one of the worst experiences anyone can have. I think you are having a normal reaction to something very traumatic and abnormal, its not just you. It sounds like you should as Lloydy says consider getting some professional help for this, something really awful has happened to you and it is going to take some time to get over it and get your life back.

I donít know how possible it is for you, but might want to consider moving from the area where this happened, I know moving helped me to feel safer after I was mugged and beaten near where I lived. The alcohol and drugs do numb the pain, but heroin, as you probably know, is very addictive and much more dangerous than the alcohol or pot.
Hope you manage to find some help and support around this, and that you stay safe until you feel better. You can get through this terrible time and get your life back.

Rustam.


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#37932 - 04/14/05 02:01 AM Re: is this normal or just me?(dont know if it triggers)
bec Offline
Member

Registered: 10/03/02
Posts: 187
Loc: chicagoland area
my friend:

i agree with Lloydy's advice. get some help as soon as possible. noone could go through what you did without being deeply wounded in more ways than one. good professional help can help you heal from the trauma. do your best my friend and get the help that you so much deserve. sincerely,


bec


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