Clearly...the offense does not begin or end with spousal relations. Rather, the stench can offend anyone down-wind...make them look up-wind in disgust; holding their noses, eyes clenched.
Its why the phone went silent and web accounts dead. I understand. If you spoke to me; if you called me; if you kept the same relationship you do with the cable company, I could apologize for disappointing you. I hid my infection, my decay. Some call it "shame." Others; The brave ones, call it "not their fault."
Dad. You use to call people with mental problems "flakes." Or say "well...Bronski went over the edge...screw loose...he's had it." Bronski was thusly stricken from the record in our household. I can't imagine what you think about your own son being hospitalized twice for being so flaky as to try to punch the clock too early. And I won't even imagine the euphemisms for me as a little boy with a mouth-full of dick or being fucked up my ass. I remember you saying "it turns em all queeeeeer." SURPRISE!!! It happened in white-bread, middle-Earth. LOL...wow...little wonder you never call or email-back.
Sister: You're the only surviving sister of three. You don't need to carry the load of three though. You got your own stuff to carry, but if you ditch me like this, you'll carry it alone...and I'll carry mine alone.
Step-mother: I don't know what to say or do around you, so I won't.
"Family & Friends" I read that forum name for the first time and thought, "huh...helping me to not die from this could be a group effort?" LMFAO!!!
If there were an award for "completeness in alienation." you and many friends would walk home with all the gold.
My son won't even bother to ask why my entire family ignored his 13th birthday. you've actually set a trend...an expectation. I won't even bother to ask if you got the emailed pictures of the little red schoolhouse I'm trying to rent as my next home.
I'm learning to re-harden my heart. There were very valid reasons to "temper" that particular organ back then. I never really named the reasons, but I know it had something to do with this "staying alive" shit.
I learned that in recovery, we can begin to thaw the frozen heart. That's not always a good idea though. The frozen heart can be stepped upon and not squish. The frozen heart can be kicked across the floor and spin to stop in front of the dog. The dog won't eat frozen meat. It burns their tongue.
Anyway...so sorry...I fucked-up your view of life just when it looked like I was truly a rock-star. Really....really sorry. I don't understand you and I finally no longer care to do so. All I can assure you is that my children will never end up like you or with you.
We all had to SURVIVE by different and unique means. Only God truly knows what we went through.