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#379208 - 12/13/11 12:42 AM My bad experiences with therapy *triggers possible
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
I really, really hope none goes through what I did with therapists. Nobody can say I didn't try and get help. I'm real angry about it. Been going through it the last few weeks.

My Expensive Experiences with Therapy

I think what makes me angry at the therapists (and psychology) I had was simply it wasnít their field, my sex abuse was discounted but they had no problem accepting a fortune from me and my insurance. I donít know how it works in Europe. Just donít. Here, itís real easy to take advantage of clients because there is really no oversight. Only oversight is the taboo of sleeping with a client in the country. Never really realized thisómy first therapist, who was good, ended therapy one session after my sex abuse was learned. She was leaving that practice and going elsewhere. It pissed me off at the time. Still does. Gee, that got buried deep. Guess it damned on me, at the time, that it just wasnít that important a detail to her. She didnít discuss it much. We agreed a lot of my problems, bipolar and anxiety was related strongly to it. However, it was like that table: She didnít talk or probe about it and just let me live with the issue rather than discussing it, giving me words for it. Maybe she wasnít that good after all. Really nice just to abandon me during a crisis. The others just wanted to study things or focus solely on it (bipolar) that no emotional issues were dealt with. Never had any plan for recovery on anything either. Not all are like this. All the ones that dealt with me apparently were.

When I was in the hospital once, a therapist told me all my emotional needs would probably be met by my writing. That really hurt and still hurts. She said that because I asked about my emotional health removed from bipolar. Pretty much she said, ďYou donít need people and emotions because you can create all that by yourself.Ē Should have told her, ďfuck youĒ at the time. Guess I buried that too. So, two now took my trust and shredded it under the guise of therapy. Only trusted them because I thought they could help. It sounds like my sperm donor telling me the ďyouíre worthless,Ē ďyou donít deserve it,Ē ďshut up and stop crying,Ē etc. It didnít sound like that; it was that. All the psychiatrists did was provide drugs. That was their job not therapy. What do you do when the supposed people who are supposed to care (because you paid them), donít and just dismiss you entirely?

Another one violated my privacy so guess my experience in therapy was just like my sex abuse (opened bare and vulnerable) and the abuse from my sperm donor. Get them opened bare and vulnerable (again) and basically tell them they donít matter. Oh, hereís a bill. Itís your problems and your life. What do you want from me, solutions? The psychiatrists gave you drugs to numb yourself out. What more do you want? We donít want to hear your shit, just tell us about the <disorder>. Itís real hard to have any recovery when none of them have a damn in the first place.

I even believed the one who told me I donít need anyone and my creativity will meet all my emotional needs. Why wouldnít I? She was the expert. It certainly reinforced what my abusers, sexual and otherwise, did to me or told me. Youíre not good enough for people; you donít need anything. That creativity didnít do anything. I just numbed myself further and figured I was going to get screwed by everyone and just accept that Iím just a piece of meat.

Based on my wonderful experiences, my advice on therapy is to make damn sure you know who you are dealing with and you better be able to trust and verify what they say. Anyone can go to college and get a psych degree. It doesnít mean they care and itís not just a job. Donít be paranoid but donít be stupid either with how much power you give these folks. If they dismiss your feelings or questions or you, donít go back. Tell the next therapist what happened. Iíd say donít talk about it at all till the third session. Youíll know by then if itís just a job to them and not a profession. Iím sure there are good therapist out there. In my experience, just didnít find one myself.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#379213 - 12/13/11 01:06 AM Re: My bad experiences with therapy *triggers possible [Re: phoenix321]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Think I just wanted someone to listen in all that. Mostly all they listened to was my bipolar affliction. Lot easier to treat I guess. It's sad. I still have to deal with it just like everything else that happened. It was a violation of my trust and person too.





Edited by phoenix321 (12/13/11 01:07 AM)
Edit Reason: typos
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#379216 - 12/13/11 01:31 AM Re: My bad experiences with therapy *triggers possible [Re: phoenix321]
George E. Offline


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 48
Loc: Kent, Washington
You surely got dealt a very bad hand. On spite of your bad experience, don't shut down the door on professional help. It is one of the most effective ways to deal with this kind of trauma.


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#379217 - 12/13/11 01:43 AM Re: My bad experiences with therapy *triggers possible [Re: George E.]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
George, I'm broke. No money for anything let alone hundreds of dollars to find yet another T that has no clue. No insurance either.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#379225 - 12/13/11 08:39 AM Re: My bad experiences with therapy *triggers possible [Re: phoenix321]
Sailor John Offline


Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 307
Loc: Newfoundland & Labrador
Hi phoenix,

You definately got the shitty end of the stick. If there is a medial board for doctors and or specialists, maybe they could give you some names of therapists trained in Male CSA that do pro bono work or a Mental Health clinic that does pro bono work.

Make sure you check them out to ensure that you are compatible and are experienced in Male CSA.

Hopefully your next therapist will be the one for you and the best of luck with your search

_________________________
I will mourn the teenager I never was and strive to make that dot of light way out in the far reaches of the end of the tunnel turn into a bright sun.

WE ARE NOT VICTIMS. WE ARE THE SURVIVORS!!!

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#379324 - 12/13/11 06:37 PM Re: My bad experiences with therapy *triggers possible [Re: Sailor John]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5773
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
Check this out and talk to the potential therapist about these questions:

http://www.malesurvivor.org/ArchivedPages/singer1.html


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#379325 - 12/13/11 06:40 PM Re: My bad experiences with therapy *triggers possible [Re: Sailor John]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
Or maybe you could find a survivor peer group. I belong to one and it's extremely helpful not only because I get to talk about my shit and let it out but also because they are all survivors and therefore they can understand and fully empathize with what I have to say.
It also makes Trusting them a whole lot easier too, them being survivor's.

If you live in or near a major metropolitan area or some kind of city, you should be able to find a support group, maybe even one that has a therapist as a moderator.
Group Therapy tends to be much less expensive, so that might also be an option for you.

I'm sorry that you have had such rotten experiences with therapy so far. I'll agree that there are alot of them out there that have no clue about what they are doing and alot of them also lack professionalism!

Good luck and don't give up just yet, There is help available out there, it is just tricky to find it sometimes.

-Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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