Eirik the Great!
thank you for sharing this story of survival and strength.
your intro really does give good insight into your character.
you are a hero.
and the boy wonder avatar is awesome.
it is an amazing and inspiring history.
something you said struck home with me.
when i gave the abuser what he wanted, i did feel like i was manipulating him.
this gave me a false sense of power and guilt.
because i didn't really want to do it, i felt conflicted and complicit.
as an adult, i now see that i was being coerced into compliance.
the fact is, i only committed those acts
in order to "manipulate" and appease the abuser
in order to avoid assault,
and not because i wanted to.
it was self defense and desperation.