I've noticed a change in myself as of late. Looking back on my life I've seen that the distance between myself and others was glaring. The distance would grow wider, but I never fought or tried to bridge it because I felt I wasn't worth it. So when I'd see that they wouldn't fight either, it just cemented it. I would do nothing to show them that I was worth it. Usually the opposite, as if I was punishing myself by pushing them away, like I was saying "you're right, I'm not worth the time, the effort, the risk". I was confirming to them the idea that i was giving them. As if who I was was the result of me just being a hurtful, selfish person.
But things have changed now. I am worth it. I am a person who is worth knowing and being close to. I have something to offer, I am worth the risk of opening up to, of being close to. I am worth it. I am worth allowing myself to become vulnerable, of trusting and sharing and growing closer to other people. I am worth allowing myself to take the risk on other people. I am worth the effort. What was done to me will no longer decide what my value is, will no longer tell me what I am worth and how I treat others. I am worth the effort of getting close to, and worth the effort of getting close to others. We all are.
Edited by creyes99 (12/04/11 02:14 PM)