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#378120 - 12/04/11 02:13 PM Where I find myself
creyes99 Offline

Registered: 11/14/11
Posts: 66
Loc: Indio, CA
I've noticed a change in myself as of late. Looking back on my life I've seen that the distance between myself and others was glaring. The distance would grow wider, but I never fought or tried to bridge it because I felt I wasn't worth it. So when I'd see that they wouldn't fight either, it just cemented it. I would do nothing to show them that I was worth it. Usually the opposite, as if I was punishing myself by pushing them away, like I was saying "you're right, I'm not worth the time, the effort, the risk". I was confirming to them the idea that i was giving them. As if who I was was the result of me just being a hurtful, selfish person.
But things have changed now. I am worth it. I am a person who is worth knowing and being close to. I have something to offer, I am worth the risk of opening up to, of being close to. I am worth it. I am worth allowing myself to become vulnerable, of trusting and sharing and growing closer to other people. I am worth allowing myself to take the risk on other people. I am worth the effort. What was done to me will no longer decide what my value is, will no longer tell me what I am worth and how I treat others. I am worth the effort of getting close to, and worth the effort of getting close to others. We all are.

Edited by creyes99 (12/04/11 02:14 PM)

#378123 - 12/04/11 02:25 PM Re: Where I find myself [Re: creyes99]
Magellan Offline

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1564
Loc: California
Bravo, Brother! BRAVO!

I've recently turned this "corner" myself. Realizing that I have to take responsibility and start to learn how to love myself. I can't count on anyone else to do it for me. My parents should have, but failed.

I'm the only person I have any power to control, and if I need to learn how to love myself, I'm going to have to be the one to do it. Coming to MS and doing therapy and engaging in this process is known path which works.

I'm so glad to read your message. This is just awesome.



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