I will begin by saying that I am perhaps oversaturated. Spent the day reading survivor stories and my head and heart are spinning.
In comes my beautiful 11 year old son.
"Hey Mom, can I sleep over Tommy's house?"
Dude, today's not a good day for Mommy....
So... here we go. How do I protect him - and when it is too much? Can it ever be enough? Can protecting him compensate for the lack of protection my husband had??
So, I sit him down and I say I worry. I worry that he is okay. That I feel better when he is here. And he says, mom, you've been reading those books again and scaring yourself.
But he's hip to me. He's smart and he pays attention. So I can't hide. I have to be honest. And why am I having this conversation with him without his father??
Baby, something happened to Daddy when he was little. And you are my son and I want to make sure you are safe.
Mom, I'm okay. Tommy's brother doesn't even talk to us.
Baby, I want to tell you the things that are not appropriate. I want you to understand the scenarios and be able to recognize them. (I AM LOST AT THIS POINT!!! MY HEAD IS SPINNING!!!!!!)
Mom, I love you. I know you want me to be safe. I will take the cell phone and I know you are there for me.