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#377677 - 12/02/11 03:52 AM Feeling stable
JaapVisser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 57
Loc: The Netherlands
For the first time in a long time I feel somehow a bit stable. I have had a big mental breakdown in February and since that time it has been an emotional rollercoaster.
My girlfriend and I temporary lived aside from eachother (we are already 11 years together and lived 10 of them together), but since a few weeks we are living again together.
I have been in day care for months and that has changed to 2x 4 hour sessions a week.
I started again with a social life, work is organised (I run my own little company, makes it easier though)

It feels like my life is balancing again. I know I am not there yet (by far), but it is less cloudy in my head. Dealing with my problems have been so heavy, but also feels good. I think the most important thing I dropped is my shame. Since I realised that I am not ashamed anymore I feel so much more capable of a lot of things.

It is such a great help to read up here, read books about the subject beside my therapy. It is helping sooo much!

I know it's just a first step of many steps to make, but pfff something feels a least good!

_________________________
Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.

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#377681 - 12/02/11 05:12 AM Re: Feeling stable [Re: JaapVisser]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hey Jaap

Glad to hear that you are feeling better, and also glad that you got it, I think that is SNAPT in Dutch? But Yeah the shame, YOU NO LONGER NEED TO FEEL SHAME. What a liberating feeling.
Just take the next step and TALK ABOUT IT A LOT, and everything falls into place.
I talk about it, there are no more secrets in my life, the whole country knows about it. What a feeling. Thaose that are afraid of it can leave me alone, and those that care, can share in my life.

Heal well
Martin

_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#377726 - 12/02/11 12:51 PM Re: Feeling stable [Re: whome]
limit Offline


Registered: 04/23/11
Posts: 131
good to hear you are feeling stable


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#377829 - 12/02/11 11:52 PM Re: Feeling stable [Re: limit]
StringsAttached Offline


Registered: 11/19/11
Posts: 59
Jaap... fist bump! laugh

_________________________
-StringsAttached

Survive, then thrive



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#377864 - 12/03/11 04:42 AM Re: Feeling stable [Re: StringsAttached]
JaapVisser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 57
Loc: The Netherlands
Thank you for kind reaction smile

"Snapt" is indeed the right word in Dutch Martin haha.

It's true that not feeling ashamed is such a relief and talking and being open about it helps so much.
Happily I got a very good supportive group of friends who with whom I didn't had much contact the last months, but after my birthday a few weeks ago they where there and so supportive, have met them after that a few times and happily no bump in roads with them when talking about it.

At least this feeling of being stable gives me strength to continue working on all the next steps.

_________________________
Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.

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#377868 - 12/03/11 05:56 AM Re: Feeling stable [Re: JaapVisser]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Right on. Happy birthday for a few weeks ago.

Martin

_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#377905 - 12/03/11 10:08 AM Re: Feeling stable [Re: whome]
Drop Offline


Registered: 04/16/11
Posts: 121
hey.... congratulations smile

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Broken eyed and shutdown
Running down the road
Send me straight to hell
Watch me burn, watch me burn

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