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#378101 - 12/04/11 12:09 PM Re: STD [Re: Anniemy4sons]
hopeandtry Offline


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 476
(Only some people can't even trust mama.)

I just double-checked and the Center for Disease control states that the body will naturally clear HPV within two years in 90% of the cases. However, the same site states that there is no general test for one's "HPV status." I was told that I had HPV after my pap showed abnormal cells. After my colposcopy, they said the cells were not bad enough to do anything. I had a follow up pap six months later which was normal. My doctor after that told me there was no HPV in the follow up pap when she called my old doc to get the records. Perhaps she meant the cells were okay or something, but really the whole thing is confusing. Anyway, I am going to get tested fairly soon and will ask then. They say you don't have to get a pap every year anymore if the last one was normal, but due to what I've been exposed to, I don't trust that. They say that because abnormal cells in the cervix usually grow really slowly, so even if you develop another problem I guess they assume they'll still catch it even if you only come once every three years or whatever the new rule is.


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#378102 - 12/04/11 12:10 PM Re: STD [Re: hopeandtry]
hopeandtry Offline


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 476
Also, someone asked how long my test showed up abnormal after I was with my ex...I think my abnormal pap was in October and the last time I'd seen my ex that time was in July. However, we'd been together the September before THAT, so it may have taken longer to show up.


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#384498 - 02/05/12 09:26 PM Re: STD [Re: GoodHope]
Shawushka Offline


Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 128
Loc: VA
Bumping an older topic up, but this kept sticking in my head and I have to get it off my chest.

"Mine didn't use a condom in his affair and actually had the nerve to tell me the truth. And his lovely partner was a SKANK!!!!"

First of all, I applaud your husband for being so honest and telling you that he didn't use a condom. Not telling or even lying about it, is far worse. I think your guy deserves some credit.
Skank? I think, we shouldn't judge others. It's okay to be mad at the woman your partner slept with, it's normal and natural to have some anger. But to name the woman a skank (or worse) is not nice.


"I feel weird about asking him to use a condom with me..."
Just using yours here as an example, since others have said it too. Maybe I'm a tad bit selfish, but when it comes to STDs, I won't be the first one to trust again.
For me, it's condoms. No condom, no sex. It's as simple as that and I won't put my health at stake.
This is imho far too serious.
I also get tested every six months and told my partner that if he's not doing anything, then there's no big deal about getting tested.

Funny enough, I never felt awkward about getting tested and in Europe my doctor was always supportive. Never asked too many questions but appraised the mentality of 'better safe than sorry'.
Now living in rural America I've had the most awful experience, still makes my blood boil.
For the testing I now go to Planned Parenthood, which has great staff who are respectful and supportive.

Go and get tested and use condoms, please. It's your health and your life that is at stake.


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#384516 - 02/05/12 11:03 PM Re: STD [Re: Shawushka]
herowannabe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 386
Loc: USA
Quote:
Skank? I think, we shouldn't judge others. It's okay to be mad at the woman your partner slept with, it's normal and natural to have some anger. But to name the woman a skank (or worse) is not nice.


I've got to defend Esposa in this. Yup, calling someone a skank isn't nice, but you've got to call 'em as you see 'em.

A woman who would steal from my husband what belongs to me, his wife, and a woman who would selfishly sell herself to my husband is indeed a skank. And that is the nicest, kindest, most gentle thing to call her. I won't shock anyone with the things I've called them.

The names may not be "nice", but I DO pray for those women. I pray they will stop participating in things that kill the souls of so many. I pray they will come to value themselves and will do something good for others instead of going through life taking and leaving behind utter destruction. I pray for my enemies, and they ARE my enemies.

I don't judge anything other than that which has been thrust into my life for me to weigh and judge. As for true judgement, they should count their blessings that God is the untimate judge, not me.

Lord, grant me a forgiving heart.
herowannabe

_________________________


For I know the plans I have made for you. Plans to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11


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#384565 - 02/06/12 11:12 AM Re: STD [Re: herowannabe]
Shawushka Offline


Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 128
Loc: VA
Well, I object to statements like "stealing a husband". Those husbands have their own free will, and even though the woman probably tried her best to entice him, the husband could've said "no" at any point.
It's indeed easier to project your anger on someone else, than on your own husband who you love and who you want to be perfect.
It's also in our culture, to condemn women who pursue. We're still supposed to sit in the corner, be clean, holy, saint and all that. We certainly shouldn't actively seduce men, let alone the men of others.

And calling a prostitute a 'skank' is something I find simply despicable. Very few women are selling themselves do this because it's so much fun. Many have a history of abuse, neglect,rape etc. Those are human beings who deserve our empathy, love and support.
And again, who forced the husband to sleep with any of those women?

My husbands a lovely guy, but when I found out he cheated on me, I blame him. I don't even care who he slept with, cause that person doesn't contribute anything to the story. My husband did it, he took the decision, he did the act. He gets my full load of anger and hurt.


For me I've never seen them (nor all the men my husband slept with) as enemies. My only true enemy is the man who is my husbands perpetrator and caused so much damage.


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#384598 - 02/06/12 04:56 PM Re: STD [Re: Shawushka]
herowannabe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 386
Loc: USA
Quote:
And calling a prostitute a 'skank' is something I find simply despicable.


I find it despicable for you to resurrect an old post for the purpose of scolding another whose choice of words don't meet with your approval. Be it a paid whore or a non-paid whore, they, in concert with our husbands, have assaulted us. We didn't get the romp in the sack, though our household funds paid for it, but many of us got the disease as a remembrance! "Whore" is a widely-used term for a prostitute, but "skank" sounds nicer, don't you think?

Quote:
Very few women are selling themselves do this because it's so much fun. Many have a history of abuse, neglect,rape etc. Those are human beings who deserve our empathy, love and support.


The supporters you've attacked carry rage for the pedophile who abused our loved one AND the whores our husbands may have used AND our husbands who so woefully betrayed us. Most of us are doing all we can to be kind and supportive of our husbands. Demanding we be "nice" in how we refer to our husband's whores is, at this point, a bit too much to ask of a human being made of flesh and blood. But thank you very much for pointing out how lacking in humanity we remain.

I would just ask you to show respect for a supporter's pain. If you can't be supportive regardless of where we are in our journey of forgiveness and healing, at least rally support for prostitutes (both paid and unpaid) elsewhere.

With Gratitude-
herowannabe

_________________________


For I know the plans I have made for you. Plans to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11


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#384602 - 02/06/12 06:15 PM Re: STD [Re: herowannabe]
Shawushka Offline


Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 128
Loc: VA
I think you totally missed my point.
This is not about "rallying support for prostitutes" - I was merely trying to point out a different point of view and that these women are not in there for the fun. All I was rallying for was empathy and understanding.

Think of the allegory with victims/survivors. How are we, the partners, able to forgive the cheating, lying and betrayal? By looking at the bigger picture, by understanding the victim's issue, by educating ourselves. It would be so easy to say "you cheated on me and I will leave you and I don't care for whatever reason you did it."

Understanding 'why' helps us to leave the grudge behind, to move on and not be left full of hatred.

The same accounts for those women. Asides from that I always think we should all keep dignity and self-respect and respect others as human beings just the way we want to be respected.

Anyways, I didn't intend to personally attack you and on the internet it's always slippery slope how postings are perceived.
So I'll just leave it.







Edited by Shawushka (02/06/12 06:27 PM)
Edit Reason: spelling mistakes

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#384663 - 02/07/12 05:35 AM Re: STD [Re: Shawushka]
Anniemy4sons Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/29/11
Posts: 98
Loc: NJ
I got tested immediately and required that he do the same. He thought he was "teflon" even AFTER he got an std & was treated. Do not trust his response "I don't have an STD". Prove it. Look at the results with your own eyes.

My husband gave me several STDs and I didn't know what they were. He lied repeatedly. I now have to be tested on a 3 month basis and I am currently being treated for HPV genital warts. Its a painful procedure. (They use an acid to burn off the warts and destroy their DNA so it will stop spreading).
Even after disclosure he had symptoms of an STD and kept his mouth shut for weeks!

This is your life! He doesn't value himself enough to protect his own, he won't protect yours.

Do not ASK him to practice safer sex. TELL him if he acts out ... consequence. (for my husband he's out!) If you are unsure, don't let him touch you.

_________________________
God is my teacher, Jesus my comfort and the Holy Spirit my protector.
I AM Listening...

Thank you Mother Mary.
Pray the Rosary every day. http://www.comepraytherosary.org/

I BELIEVE IN HER PROMISE.

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#384683 - 02/07/12 09:53 AM Re: STD [Re: Anniemy4sons]
Shawushka Offline


Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 128
Loc: VA
Oh dear ((hugs)) Annie, that sounds horrible.
Here's a link of Planned Parenthood, with tons of information about STDs and STIs. There is also a search function to find a center near you.
I've used them for getting tested and was so impressed with their attitudes, how they work and all the great work they do.


http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/stds-hiv-safer-sex-101.htm


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#384803 - 02/07/12 09:16 PM Re: STD [Re: Shawushka]
Esposa Offline
F&F Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/19/11
Posts: 681
Loc: NJ
WOW...

Ok, she's a skank and I am going to qualify it. I have known her for 8 years and heard all the details of her one night stands throughout Europe, her desperate attempts to steal other friends' husbands, her unprotected sex with the hope of having a baby.... and since I heard it all first hand, I am sticking with my original assertion.

Oh yeah, and we have had her family for Thanksgiving and she broke bread with my kids and then slept with their father. Skank? Hmmmm.... I would say SKANK was going easy on her.

Is it her fault? NOPE. She was not committed to me, he was. Is she a skank? FOR SURE.


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