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#377598 - 12/01/11 04:58 PM my intro
BirdGirl Offline

Registered: 12/01/11
Posts: 5

#377601 - 12/01/11 05:07 PM Re: my intro [Re: BirdGirl]
just me Offline

Registered: 05/27/09
Posts: 198
Welcome to MS.

#377603 - 12/01/11 05:11 PM Re: my intro [Re: just me]
BirdGirl Offline

Registered: 12/01/11
Posts: 5
Heavens NO, I'm not minimizing what happened to my husband. I've done a lot of reading on various sites before posting for the first time, and one thing I read struck me: yes, CSA causes a lot of problems later in life, but you can't just say, Oh, so THAT'S the reason for this or that. It's much more complicated than that.

Please, don't start judging me in my first post. It's why I was nervous about posting anywhere in the first place.

#377605 - 12/01/11 05:15 PM Re: my intro [Re: BirdGirl]
BirdGirl Offline

Registered: 12/01/11
Posts: 5
and by the way, I'M not the one suffering, HE is. I'm just trying to figure out a way to help him. I love him.

#377608 - 12/01/11 05:41 PM Re: my intro [Re: BirdGirl]
just me Offline

Registered: 05/27/09
Posts: 198
My sincerest apologies for making you feel judged, that was not my intent and I have deleted the comment and sent you personal apologies via Private message (these can be viewed by clicking 'My Stuff' above).
I wish you and your husband much healing and Male Survivor may be the best place to start...please don't let my insensitivity scare you away.
Wishing you well,
Just Me

#377844 - 12/03/11 01:17 AM Re: my intro [Re: just me]
whome Offline

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1736
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi Bird Girl

Well I cant read your post but I can see your reply.
If you felt judged, I am sorry. We do not judge people here, as we have not been in your shoes.
Secondly, you do need to heal as survivors are manipulators and will mentally abuse people to get what they want. (its a long story)
We will help you to get your husband to realize that he is a survivor, or will at least try.
Don't give up posting, and supporters need as much support as survivors do, if not more.

Please tell us more of your story and dont be afraid to tell us whatever comes to mind, we will not judge you.

Heal well

Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

#377939 - 12/03/11 11:38 AM Re: my intro [Re: whome]
Airmid Offline

Registered: 12/02/11
Posts: 95
Loc: South
Bid girl, I missed your introduction, but hope that you'll stay. We're all at different points of healing, in different moods and learn much from each other. Whether your husband is in denial or not, you can find what you need here. Please stick around.

#378001 - 12/03/11 08:57 PM Re: my intro [Re: Airmid]
blacken Offline
Chatroom Moderator
Registered: 08/13/01
Posts: 1592
Loc: Northern Ohio
BirdGirl's first post is not visable to me. Thanks for being supportive to her.
But I do not agree with ur statement "Secondly, you do need to heal as survivors are manipulators and will mentally abuse people to get what they want. (its a long story)".
That may be true with some people, but certainly can not be used as a generality.

#378055 - 12/04/11 01:31 AM Re: my intro [Re: blacken]
limit Offline

Registered: 04/23/11
Posts: 131
i think it is probably a more accurate generality than "most survivors are mentally healthy and do not continue the abuse cycle"

anyway welcome here

Edited by limit (12/04/11 01:31 AM)

#378081 - 12/04/11 10:11 AM Re: my intro [Re: limit]
BirdGirl Offline

Registered: 12/01/11
Posts: 5
I managed to erase my original post but couldn't get the others erased. I was hoping that this would be a safe place to ask questions, but being jumped on within 5 minutes of my first post has made me decide that this is not the site for me. I'll try to find some other site where I can get some help for us.

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