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#377303 - 11/29/11 11:51 AM SPS(Sensory Processing Sensitivity) THE difference
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
A man I deeply respect told me recently, abuse is reacted to differently by it's victims. Victims are sensitive to varying degrees.
What does that mean for me?

I have been searching for the difference between my siblings, the children I meet at school and worship, and those I have met, and me. Why can I only become close to those who would use me? Lie to me? Abuse me? Control me? Destroy me? The answer is, that I am a HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON, and those who would do me the most damage are the ones who flatter me. While some are not as sensitive to the same degree, others manipulate my sensitivity for their own gratification.

This IS the beginning, for me. The difference, the bridge... recovery endgame.., the beginning of V.I.C.T.O.R.Y:
  • I am sensitive to favoritism with my siblings
  • I am sensitive to rewards they receive that I did not
  • I am sensitive to rewards that were better than mine
  • I am sensitive to rude and cruel remarks from my siblings and parents(specific)
  • I am sensitive to rude and cruel remarks from students, shop keepers, teachers, and relatives
  • I am sensitive to my own failings and mistakes
  • I am sensitive to negative thoughts, feelings and actions by myself and others, especially others.
  • I am sensitive to my children, their feelings, wants and actions.
  • I am sensitive to my wife favoring the children in discipline and rewards over my sensitivity
  • I am sensitive to others receiving promotions, raises, awards over me.
  • I am sensitive, I will use catastrophizing to stop beneficial activity.
  • I am sensitive to abuse, and think it is supposed to happen to me, in light of all the insensitive unfairness surrounding me.

The Highly Sensitive Person
Elaine Aron is a writer of "The Highly Sensitive Person" and speaker in awareness for this trait. SPS, or Highly Sensitive Person, HSP, affects 15-20% of the population. She has been doing research since 1991 on the topic, and her last work was in 2010.

This is it brothers, THE KEY; the final piece of the puzzle. I can string all the other variables, my feelings of unfairness, rejection and abandonment and why the abuse destroyed me. This is the piece I have been waiting for all of my life.

I am a Highly Sensitive Person:
  • I internalize every remark, and respond slowly to change
  • I understand on a deeper, more vibrant and intense level
  • I more quickly consume my resources to process inputs, inside and external
  • I am aware of the negative much more acutely than others
  • I am subject to a longer process, and I need time to produce a more indepth and well thought out approach
  • I have value and cannot be rushed into a decision, or I can be robbed of confidence and value

In this new awareness, I will not be anxious when I consider a matter thoroughly and completely. I do not need to "jump in" with hastily concocted answers. I am not "slow", I am competent.

Wide open and fearless!

Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#377311 - 11/29/11 02:26 PM Re: SPS(Sensory Processing Sensitivity) THE difference [Re: SamV]
JaapVisser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 57
Loc: The Netherlands
Wow that must feel like a revelation I can imagine! That must have been a long and very hard process to feel and connect to it.

Deep respect for you Sam!

_________________________
Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.

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#377425 - 11/30/11 10:48 AM Re: SPS(Sensory Processing Sensitivity) THE difference [Re: JaapVisser]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Thanks JaapVisser,

This journey to healing has taken many turns. The one consistent thing in it is the clarity and the relief. I came from a dark, fearful place, so it was not all "yellow brick road". I had anxiety, days in bed, anger episodes, actually I slept a great deal of my depression away in the year plus I was off work. But the relief, the endurance, the persistence.., it kept coming, getting stronger, more present in my life. I felt better and better!

Keep going, keep wanting it, keep defining who you are and how to get them out!

Thank you JV, this feels SO good!

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#377519 - 12/01/11 07:25 AM Re: SPS(Sensory Processing Sensitivity) THE difference [Re: SamV]
mike13 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
Sam this is great stuff. I can now understand more of why I do things differently than everyone else. For along time I thought I was lossing my mind but this puts things in a new light Thanks Mike


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#378140 - 12/04/11 04:05 PM Re: SPS(Sensory Processing Sensitivity) THE difference [Re: mike13]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Thanks Mike,

Yeah I feel that too. I AM different, and that is what makes me unique. I can find the guides, the research and the information I need to continue to be successful in this recovery, in victory and in my life!

Keep recovering my sensitive friend, we need more of us!

Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#378143 - 12/04/11 04:18 PM Re: SPS(Sensory Processing Sensitivity) THE difference [Re: SamV]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Sam,

This is very insightful and meaningful. This explains alot.

Thanks for posting it.

Avery

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#378149 - 12/04/11 05:11 PM Re: SPS(Sensory Processing Sensitivity) THE difference [Re: Avery46]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Hey Avery, thanks man,

I hope this encourages new processing towards refreshment, fellow survivor, it has in my victory!

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#378571 - 12/07/11 01:51 PM Re: SPS(Sensory Processing Sensitivity) THE difference [Re: SamV]
ShOHIO Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/24/10
Posts: 45
Loc: Central Ohio
Sam,
Thank you for sharing what you have in this post. When I am down and troubled and i feel that the road ahead is long and just made of mud and it just takes everything I have to take that next step, I will reflect back on what you have posted.

You are an amazing man.

Be Strong,
Scot

_________________________
WOR ALUMNI
Hope Spring 2011

GROW MY BROTHERS AND STAY STRONG,FOR YOU ARE YOUR STRENGTH!

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#378579 - 12/07/11 02:45 PM Re: SPS(Sensory Processing Sensitivity) THE difference [Re: ShOHIO]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Scot,

Reflection, ahh.., a trip through the healing process, some of our finest moments, nice. My fellow survivor, what you need on that road is a monster truck 4 wheel drive! Scot, understanding sensitivity as a powerful, positive trait in us helps the road to get smoother and straighter. We find balance in limiting ourselves in the processes that do not need the raw emotional "heart" we put into abuse recovery. We realize that appropriate levels let's us interact with people, places and things around us without using up all of us.

Reflect, refresh, renew and recover Scot, those mud-in-your-boots days help us know how wonderful clear, sunny solid roads feel, on the few occasions that we see 72 and sunny. But we do, every so once in a while, we do..,

Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#385153 - 02/10/12 09:51 AM Re: SPS(Sensory Processing Sensitivity) THE difference [Re: SamV]
Treehugger75 Offline


Registered: 02/08/12
Posts: 158
Loc: Ontario Canada
Amazing post. the catasrophizeing events to avoid getting better REALLY hit home. I have newly embarked on this journey. You words have helped thank you.

_________________________
I will never ALWAYS be right, I wasn't wrong, I am whats left.

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